Ben Shapiro: To Stop Communism and Save America, the Knicks Must Lose

In case you were wondering how long it would take before the far-right media turned the NBA Finals into a culture war chew toy, the answer is: one game. One game in which the Knicks won, that is.

Noted Basketball Knower Ben Shapiro—whose fracking-funded content empire is looking a little wobbly these days and has decided to respond by growing muppet-grade eyebrows—weighed in this morning to show off his hoops acumen.

Just kidding! He spewed some evidence-free ragebait about how a Knicks title would be disastrous for “America,” and did so in his usual, migraine-inducing adenoidal tone of voice. To anyone other than a steakbrained partisan, it landed like a wet fart. Via Media Matters:

OK. Meanwhile, speaking of threats significantly closer to home, at least at this moment, New York — Zohran Mamdani, Brad Lander, the pick by Zohran Mamdani for DSA in Congress, a person named Chevalier, and Valdez, all of these people are far lefties, aired an ad in an NBA finals game last night, game one of the NBA finals.

Democrat New York politicians appeared in a PSA and fired off some cutesey basketball puns. Horrific stuff, Ben. Nailed it. So how exactly does this reflect on the Knicks?

This is where we are right now, and this is why New York must lose. I know. I have a lot of fans and friends who are Knicks fans. But for the good of the United States, New York must lose. Because otherwise, you’re going have these people celebrating.

You kind of have to hand it to him. In five short sentences, Shapiro cut straight to the heart of the entire MAGA project. Yes, they’re engaging in ethnic cleansing and murdering brown people just because they can. But in the end, it boils down to an unquentiable desire to immiserate anyone left of Mussolini. tl;dr; as long as the Libs are properly Owned—forever.

Anyhing else?

So, they put a political ad in the middle of the Knicks game — because it’s so New York if you’re in favor of of socialism. So for the sake of America, the Knicks must lose.

Lemme get this straight. New Yorkers love socialism, per Shapiro. How, exactly will the Knicks winning or losing stop us from being godless Commies? We already elected a democratic socialist, for Pete’s sake. No matter who wins—according to you, Ben Shapiro—that won’t change!

You just despite people who are slightly different than you and figured it’d be easy to toss out some half-assed chum to the frothing masses who make up your (dwindling) audience.

Shapiro, it should be mentioned, grew up in Los Angeles during the 1980s, right when the Showtime Lakers were racking up championships and playing some of the most thrilling ball seen in the [Hubie Brown voice] league. He’s previously claimed his devotion to Bird, McHale, Parish et al came about because it’s where uh his father went to college?

Sorry, Ben. I don’t buy it at all. He consciously chose, for one, the whitest-ass team he could find and two, I’m sure he made himself a prime target for all his lil’ grade school Magic- and Kareem-loving buddies, because there’s nothing conservatives love more than generating some bullshit scenario in which they can play the victim.