2019-20 Game Thread: The Super Cool, Rebranded Knicks vs. The Loser, 1997-Branded Wizards

“We don’t want to remind people of shooting deaths!” Boo! That’s so 1997 branding, Wizards!

Be like the Knicks! They have a marketing guru! The dude’s a freakin’ GURU! And the Bureau of Guru-ing is a really serious deal. You have to work at that licensing. You can’t just put on an expensive T-Shirt and start calling yourself a guru.

So get with the times, Wizards!

Be more like the Knicks!

But you can’t, because they’re in New York. They have blood in the ground! You don’t have that in DC! Well, you sometimes do, but that’s why you changed the name of the team.

So hooray, rebranded Knicks!

Their awesome marketing should make this their fifth win in their last six games, with their lame duck head coach doing his best to, you know, not get fired despite being told he definitely is getting fired.

Let’s go? Knicks!