Dallas Mavericks agree to trade with New York Knicks for Kristaps Porzingis


The Dallas Mavericks have agreed to a trade with the New York Knicks for All-Star forward Kristaps Porzingis, league sources told ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski on Thursday.

The trade also includes the Knicks sending Courtney Lee and Tim Hardaway Jr. to the Mavericks in return for Wesley Matthews, Dennis Smith Jr. and DeAndre Jordan, league sources told Wojnarowski. The deal may also include draft assets, sources said.

The Mavs are working to acquire a first-round pick to include in the deal, sources told ESPN’s Tim MacMahon. They owe their own protected first-rounder to the Atlanta Hawks as part of the draft-night trade to acquire Luka Doncic.

Jordan and Matthews both have expiring contracts.

Somehow, the Knicks will continue their insane streak of not resigning any rookie that they have drafted since Charlie Ward. We all know that Frank will be next in that little streak, right?

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

EDITED TO ADD: While I am not a fan of the trade, the Knicks did also get two future first round picks from the Mavericks in the deal. It appears that it will be an unprotected 2021 pick and a 1-10 protected 2023 pick.

Dallas Mavericks 114 – New York Knicks 90 – Haiku time

Hoo boy, such a shitfest. I’ll say it clear right at the beginning: no recap this time. It doesn’t make any sense to recap this flaming turd of a game, where nobody played well and, ahem, we got a case of crowd-pleasing schizofrenia from our coaching staff.

About that: in the third quarter, somebody in the crowd started a “we want Kanter!” chant for no apparent reason. It’s the third game in a row that happens, and unless there is a really dedicated Turkish community that routinely sends a representative to every Knicks game until Enes gets bought out, I’m calling trolling on that one. Sadly, Fizdale (or whoever is in charge of those things) listened to that and absurdly budged from his position of “nope, not playing Kanter, even if it means starting Lance Thomas”. We then got treated to 9 nonsensical minutes of play from Enes (who by the way proceeded to airball his first shot while someone in the crowd kept on clapping for him) to no avail. It was like seeing a pity-date performed in basketball terms. “Yeah, you know, I ditched Sandra a month ago, but since then all of her friends keep calling me to give her another chance, soooo… Three days ago I went for a cup of coffee with her, but only because I had a Starbucks coupon. Haven’t called her since”. Truly embarrassing.

Anyway, since we’re deeeeep in a stretch of games where there’s nothing to recap, I decided (inspired by a comment from chrisk06811) to write a haiku for some of the most “notable” Knicks out there. Up to you to guess which one is who. I know nobody will give a damn, but I’ll post the solution at 11:30, ET.


“Candle light on hardwood
Sometimes the flame will scorch the earth
Awkward floaters abound”


“Misty eyes, mighty fears
The past teaches nothing
Defense nowhere around”


“Circle, jump, any dream
Limbs flailing through every ocean
No-one chants, who cares”


“Stepping stones, doors ajar
Basketball failures queued up
Defensive slides?”


“Ghost town, heart of glass
Imagination defying
Purpose unknown”


shock then nothing ever is
Wait for the fourth”

“Calm wind, violent breeze
Draw a foul, you’re welcome here
Separate from people”


“Slippery brows sigh
Wizard, twenty sided dice
Saving private Ryan”


“Life, playground or not
Does a board make any sound?
Roll me pick me dead”


“Fate, a mask revealed
Oedipal itches. blushing
Keep bombing away”


On the basketball side of things, a few notes:

– Playing Vonleh center is a death knell for him on this team, apart from very specific situational small ball lineups where he can be effective. As a starting center he’s playing a lot less minutes and he’s playing a lot worse than he was doing before. When does Kornet come back?

– Impressive stat shown by MSG: Trier draws fouls on 11.1% of his drives (14th in the whole League. I don’t remember who’s 1st, my boy Gallo is 2nd). You know who’s tailing Trier? James Effing Harden at 10.8%. Punch me in the face for having suggested Trier was happy to have cashed in.

– Mitch Robinson in the last three games: 3 blocks per game, 1.3 (!) personal fouls per game, only 20mpg. What the hell?

– Bonus fact about Mitch Lob: as we all already noted, for the season Trier is his best assist-man with 17. Next one is Frank with 10. Then nobody (nobody) has more than 5 assists to Mitch, and the 5 assist man is Noah Vonleh. This has to be the most depressing stat about our PG committee.

– I seriously second-guess the choice to keep playing THJ. I don’t know if he’s hurt or not, but since it’s extra clear that we’re on a singleminded tanking mission, just sit him for a few games. Let him get his game straight or whatever (I hope he’ll get traded altogether, but I’ve learned to stay grounded).

– No, sorry. last bonus fact about Mitch: it appears he’s the first player ever to have blocked a Luka step-back three attempt. I politely remind you he also blocked two such shots by Harden. Told ya, if someone kept track of blocks on three point shots Mitch would already be in the top 20 of all-time.

Guys, I take a little break. I’ll be back for the Detroit game, maybe the last with Enes in a Knicks uniform?


Knicks Morning News (2019.01.31)

  • [Sports Illustrated] Enes Kanter: I Know the All-Star Who Will Sign With Knicks This Summer
    (Wednesday, January 30, 2019 4:39:25 PM)

    Kanter said this free agent will help the Knicks win a championship in the near future.

  • [Newsday] Enes Kanter: I Know the All-Star Who Will Sign With Knicks This Summer
    (Wednesday, January 30, 2019 4:39:25 PM)

    Kanter said this free agent will help the Knicks win a championship in the near future.

  • [FOXsports] Dirk, Doncic help Mavs rout Knicks at Madison Square Garden
    (Wednesday, January 30, 2019 9:58:46 PM)

    Dirk, Doncic help Mavs rout Knicks at Madison Square Garden

  • [NYDN] Enes Kanter kisses Knicks center court logo and makes case for jersey retirement
    (Wednesday, January 30, 2019 8:35:00 PM)

    Enes Kanter, always the performer, made his grand entrance.

    The outspoken center emerged from his exile in the third quarter of Wednesday’s 114-90 loss to the Mavericks, dusted off by David Fizdale just after the Garden loudly chanted for Kanter’s return. And as the crowd cheered wildly when he…

  • [NYDN] Bondy: Do the Knicks really have ‘special sauce’ when it comes to player development?
    (Wednesday, January 30, 2019 5:55:00 PM)

    From the beginning of this woebegone season, the Knicks have stated that, above all, they were emphasizing player development.

    It was their specialty, their bread-and-butter. Craig Robinson, the head of the organization’s player development, called their strategy “innovative” and “transformative,”…

  • [Hoops Rumors] Knicks Notes: Kanter, Davis, Robinson, Ball
    (Wednesday, January 30, 2019 10:48:52 AM)

    Knicks fans have taken Enes Kanter‘s side in his dispute with coach David Fizdale over playing time, writes Marc Berman of The New York Post. Kanter has sat out the past four games despite reportedly being promised an expanded role in the wake of an injury to Luke Kornet. Fans at Madison Square Garden expressed […]

  • [NYTimes] Mavericks Thump Knicks as Dirk Nowitzki Comes Alive at the Garden
    (Thursday, January 31, 2019 4:28:20 AM)

    Nowitzki, who may be playing his final season, scored a season-high 14 points. Luka Doncic added 16.

  • [ESPN] Kanter gets rare playing time, kisses Knicks logo
    (Wednesday, January 30, 2019 11:28:23 PM)

    Center Enes Kanter, who had received four consecutive DNP-CDs, kissed the Knicks logo on the floor upon coming into the game at Madison Square Garden on Wednesday night.

  • [SNY Knicks] Knicks’ Enes Kanter says logo kiss was to ‘show the fans some love for one last time’
    (Thursday, January 31, 2019 1:09:29 AM)

    After four straight games logging a DNP, Enes Kanter finally got to take his warmup off and enter the game on Wednesday night at The Garden. And with fans chanting his name, Kanter decided to reciprocate the love right back.

  • [SNY Knicks] Knicks takeaways from Wednesday’s 114-90 loss to the Mavericks
    (Wednesday, January 30, 2019 10:07:30 PM)

    The Knicks’ losing streak reached 10 games after they fell apart in the fourth quarter in a 101-92 loss to the Charlotte Hornets on Monday.

  • [SNY Knicks] Knicks rookie Kevin Knox will use Rising Stars Challenge snub as motivation
    (Wednesday, January 30, 2019 8:55:50 PM)

    When the Rising Stars Challenge rosters were announced Tuedsay night, no Knicks were listed — not even the team’s first-round pick Kevin Knox.

  • [SNY Knicks] Knicks host rookie star Luka Doncic, Mavs at 7:30 p.m.
    (Wednesday, January 30, 2019 7:04:21 PM)

    Knicks are hoping to stop their long losing streak against the Mavericks on Wednesday night.

  • [SNY Knicks] Why Kevin Knox’s omission from NBA Rising Stars roster doesn’t hurt the Knicks
    (Wednesday, January 30, 2019 5:18:50 PM)

    No, the Knicks not having any players selected for the Rising Stars game at All-Star weekend is not a reflection on head coach David Fizdale or the state of the franchise.

  • [SNY Knicks] Latest on Knicks trade target Anthony Davis: Pelicans GM ‘not picking up his phone’
    (Wednesday, January 30, 2019 8:58:27 AM)

    Pelicans star Anthony Davis has requested a trade, informing the team he has no interest in re-signing. With news of Davis wanting out came reports that the Knicks have strong interest in trading for him. Here are the latest rumors…

  • [NYPost] Knicks share amazing similarities with the 1962 Mets
    (Wednesday, January 30, 2019 10:18:27 PM)

    We don’t laugh about losing anymore. That’s a pity, actually. There was a time when we could, when losing not only amused us but gave us something to feel good about. There came a day early in 1962 when Casey Stengel, managing the Mets, observed that Chris Cannizzaro, his catcher, a man who made the…

  • [NYPost] Kevin Knox using Rising Stars snub as ‘motivation’
    (Wednesday, January 30, 2019 9:06:01 PM)

    A disappointed Kevin Knox will use his Rising Stars snub as fodder, admitting he thought he was a lock to make it to Charlotte during All-Star Weekend. “I thought 100 percent I was in it,’’ Knox said. After a slow start Wednesday, beginning with an airball, Knox put up a team-high 17 points but shot…

  • [NYPost] Enes Kanter: Kiss was for Knicks fans — maybe for ‘one last time’
    (Wednesday, January 30, 2019 6:58:58 PM)

    Enes Kanter was stunned that he got into the game in the third quarter Wednesday. But that’s how desperate Knicks coach David Fizdale was as the NBA’s worst team played the part to perfection in a 114-90 rout at the hands of the Mavericks. But there was a feel-good moment. After four straight games in…

  • [NYPost] Knicks play like NBA’s worst team in ugly loss to Mavericks
    (Wednesday, January 30, 2019 5:05:25 PM)

    The worst team in the NBA played the part Wednesday at the Garden. In another sign of their regression since November, the Knicks were routed by the Mavericks, 114-90, to fall to a tidy 10-40, owners of the NBA’s lowest winning percentage at .200. Dirk Nowitzki, in possibly his final game at the Garden, drew…

  • [NYPost] Enes Kanter plays, kisses Knicks logo — and promptly fires airball
    (Wednesday, January 30, 2019 4:31:17 PM)

    Guess Enes Kanter really wanted to play again — but he sure showed some immediate rust. The Knicks center, who has been stuck on the bench for four straight games, finally got a shot to play Wednesday night against the Mavericks. In fact, he was so happy, he kissed the team’s logo at center court…

  • [NYPost] David Fizdale says NBA-worst Knicks can’t give in to the losing
    (Wednesday, January 30, 2019 3:56:41 PM)

    Knicks coach David Fizdale is hardly shocked the Knicks finally hit rock bottom, but said he believes they will be better for it one day. They certainly weren’t better Wednesday, when the Mavericks routed them in the second half and won a 114-90 Garden cruise that felt like a Dallas home game with game-long cheers…

  • Post Game: Mavericks beat Knicks, 114-90

    Potential Links

  • [] Luka Doncic Drops 16 as Mavericks Cruise Past Kevin Knox, Knicks 114-90
  • [] Knicks rally falls short against Mavericks
  • [] Jason Kidd cheered, but his Mavericks’ replacement has top game to upset Knicks
  • Full BoxScore:

    Score by Period:

    Team 1 2 3 4 TOTAL
    Mavericks 24 31 35 24 114
    Knicks 20 27 23 20 90

    Four Factors

    DAL 0.626 0.169 0.195 0.108
    NYK 0.449 0.118 0.107 0.257

    Simple Box Score

    Name min pts fga 3pm ftm or Reb ast stl to blk pf +/-
    Barnes, Harrison 29:00 19 14 1 4 1 4 2 0 2 0 1 21
    Matthews, Wesley 26:18 17 11 5 0 0 2 1 0 0 0 2 17
    Jordan, DeAndre 26:18 6 3 0 0 1 9 1 0 1 0 0 17
    Doncic, Luka 28:40 16 18 2 0 1 8 5 0 3 0 1 15
    Smith Jr., Dennis 28:13 13 12 0 3 1 10 15 0 5 0 3 23
    Finney-Smith, Dorian 24:19 9 6 1 0 1 4 1 1 4 0 4 12
    Harris, Devin 11:39 6 3 2 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 2 8
    Nowitzki, Dirk 11:35 14 7 2 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0
    Kleber, Maxi 17:07 4 3 0 0 1 3 0 1 1 1 1 6
    Powell, Dwight 19:33 7 4 1 0 1 4 1 1 1 0 2 6
    Brunson, Jalen 10:03 3 2 1 0 0 3 3 0 0 0 1 -1
    Broekhoff, Ryan 4:35 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 0 1
    Mejri, Salah 2:40 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 -5
    Mavericks 240:00 114 84 15 9 7 49 31 4 18 1 19 24
    Name min pts fga 3pm ftm or Reb ast stl to blk pf +/-
    Knox, Kevin 27:17 17 16 1 4 0 5 1 1 2 0 1 -22
    Thomas, Lance 16:03 5 5 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 -12
    Vonleh, Noah 14:29 2 3 0 0 2 5 1 1 1 0 0 -11
    Burke, Trey 32:10 16 14 1 1 0 1 3 2 1 1 1 -23
    Hardaway Jr., Tim 27:31 6 11 1 1 0 3 3 1 1 0 2 -26
    Robinson, Mitchell 24:11 4 2 0 0 2 7 0 1 1 4 1 -9
    Trier, Allonzo 19:16 11 5 0 5 0 4 2 1 3 0 0 5
    Dotson, Damyean 20:29 5 7 1 0 0 2 1 0 0 0 4 2
    Hezonja, Mario 31:35 13 8 1 4 0 2 1 2 1 0 2 -21
    Allen, Kadeem 17:39 6 2 0 4 0 2 3 1 0 0 4 1
    Kanter, Enes 9:20 5 5 0 1 1 2 1 0 1 0 0 -4
    Lee, Courtney 0:00 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
    Knicks 240:00 90 78 6 20 5 34 16 10 12 5 15 -24

    Knicks Morning News (2019.01.30)

  • [NYDN] Knicks fans, it’s time to celebrate! Your team is officially the worst in the NBA
    (Tuesday, January 29, 2019 7:25:00 PM)

    Rejoice, Knicks fans, because the day you have been waiting for has finally come. Your team is officially the worst in the NBA.

    The Cavaliers’ victory over the Wizards was their 11th of the season, giving them one more than the Knicks (10-39), who now reside alone in the league’s cellar.


  • [NYDN] Bondy: Going all-in for Anthony Davis is a worthwhile gamble for the Knicks
    (Tuesday, January 29, 2019 12:55:00 PM)

    Here’s the reality with Anthony Davis, and often it’s difficult to remember because he plays for the (nobody-cares-about) Pelicans: Davis is not just the owner of the most famous unibrow since Frida Kahlo, he’s a top-5 player in the NBA who is just entering his prime.

    Since 2012 when Davis left…

  • [NYPost] Knicks have worst record in NBA
    (Tuesday, January 29, 2019 6:35:27 PM)

    This is a Knicks season in which everything that can go wrong has gone wrong — even on nights they don’t play. In a double whammy, on the same night rookie lottery pick Kevin Knox was snubbed for All-Star Weekend’s Rising Stars Challenge, the Knicks plummeted to the very bottom of the NBA barrel, owning…

  • [NYPost] Kevin Knox snubbed for ‘Rising Stars’ game in latest Knicks slap
    (Tuesday, January 29, 2019 3:53:17 PM)

    This is a Knicks season in which everything that can go wrong has gone wrong. In a surprise on Tuesday, rookie lottery pick Kevin Knox was snubbed for the Feb. 15 Rising Stars Challenge featuring the NBA’s best rookies and sophomores during All-Star Weekend. Knox won the Eastern Conference’s Rookie of the Month in December,…

  • [NYPost] Enes Kanter uses ‘pissed’ Knicks fans to escalate Fizdale war
    (Tuesday, January 29, 2019 1:11:11 PM)

    Wednesday’s Garden match against the Mavericks will feature Dirk Nowitzki’s probable last game at the Garden, rookie sensation Luka Doncic’s first game there — and likely more Enes Kanter chants. After not playing in a fourth straight game — all losses — Monday in Charlotte against the Hornets, Kanter all but accused coach David Fizdale…

  • [NYPost] NBA fines Anthony Davis for publicly forcing trade from Pelicans
    (Tuesday, January 29, 2019 12:46:01 PM)

    The NBA has a trade demand, too: some cash for Anthony Davis’ public wishes. The Pelicans star center was fined $50,000 Tuesday for violating the league’s rule barring players or their representatives from making a public trade demand. A day prior, agent Rich Paul told ESPN that Davis would not sign a contract extension with…

  • [NYPost] Knicks wait for Anthony Davis demands as Mitchell Robinson speaks up
    (Tuesday, January 29, 2019 9:01:54 AM)

    CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Knicks center Mitchell Robinson, a former Pelicans fan and graduate of Chalmette High School in suburban New Orleans, supports Anthony Davis’ latest maneuver. Robinson and Davis share the same trainer, Marcell Scott, who has been living with the Knicks’ 20-year-old rookie in Westchester. Robinson and Davis have worked out together multiple times….

  • [NYTimes] N.B.A. Fines Anthony Davis $50,000 After Agent’s Request for a Trade
    (Wednesday, January 30, 2019 1:36:20 AM)

    The league called the agent’s public request for New Orleans to trade his client an “intentional effort to undermine the contractual relationship between Davis and the Pelicans.”

  • [SNY Knicks] Here are 5 Knicks trades for Anthony Davis
    (Tuesday, January 29, 2019 8:55:20 PM)

    Here are five possible Anthony Davis trades involving the Knicks (although he doesn’t end up in New York in one of them).

  • [SNY Knicks] Knicks are officially the worst team in the NBA
    (Tuesday, January 29, 2019 10:44:53 PM)

    With the Cavaliers defeating the Wizards 116-113 on Tuesday night, they became tied with the Suns for the second-worst record in the NBA at 11-41.

  • [SNY Knicks] No Knicks to play in NBA’s Rising Stars Challenge
    (Tuesday, January 29, 2019 8:46:01 PM)

    The Knicks are focused on developing their young talent, yet none of them will play in the NBA’s Rising Stars Challenge on All-Star weekend.

  • [SNY Knicks] Knicks have one advantage in Anthony Davis sweepstakes: Kristaps Porzingis
    (Tuesday, January 29, 2019 6:03:58 PM)

    The Knicks can swing a trade in their favor if they are willing to include Kristaps Porzingis.

  • [SNY Knicks] Knicks have ‘a strong chance’ landing Kevin Durant if he opts out: report
    (Tuesday, January 29, 2019 6:15:14 PM)

    A marriage between Kevin Durant and the Knicks has been a storyline since the regular season began. And many in the business believe it is one that can definitely come to fruition.

  • [SNY Knicks] WATCH: Knicks shouldn’t shop Kevin Knox for Anthony Davis, says Bondy
    (Tuesday, January 29, 2019 9:32:13 PM)

    Anthony Davis has shaken up the NBA world, as he requested a trade to leave the Pelicans. And with that news surfacing, the Knicks are reportedly among the top candidates to make a trade happen before the Feb. 7 deadline.

  • [SNY Knicks] Latest on Knicks trade target Anthony Davis: Pelicans’ star ‘open’ to New York
    (Tuesday, January 29, 2019 4:58:27 PM)

    Pelicans star Anthony Davis has requested a trade, informing the team he has no interest in re-signing. With news of Davis wanting out came reports that the Knicks have strong interest in trading for him. Here are the latest rumors…

  • [SNY Knicks] Knicks’ Enes Kanter uses fans to take latest shot at David Fizdale
    (Tuesday, January 29, 2019 7:56:42 PM)

    Enes Kanter continues to feud with head coach David Fizdale, pointing that the fans are on his side.

  • New York Knicks 92 – Charlotte Hornets 101 – Game Recap

    For the third time in a row, our Knicks couldn’t reach the triple-digit threshold, and for the second game straight they looked like they could finally pull it off. This time it was a very, very close game until the end of the third quarter, when the two teams were perfectly tied at 71. From there on, our guys kept on misfiring while the Hornets suddenly caught fire from three, and the game was suddenly over thanks to a flurry of Malik Monk trifectas and a few inspired minutes from an unusually lethargic Kemba. Good minutes from Parker and Willy (miss ya) were the icing on the cake for Charlotte.

    With Frank sidelined by a groin injury, Kadeem Allen was called up (he’s the recipient of the two-way contract vacated by Trier signing his NBA contract) and was promptly given 18 minutes. I’m not complaining about it, actually I liked it. The thing is, you realize you’re not at rock bottom of a tanking season when you’re actually happy to see a 26 year old former second round pick on the court because you don’t have to watch Burke and Hardaway chuck their way into oblivion. Actually Hardaway didn’t play that bad last night (even 10 boards for him!), but he’s definitely gone into post 2012/13 Melo territory, where you realize he’s the most talented “scorer” you have in your roster but can’t stand to watch him more than a few sparse minutes here and there. This concept fully evolved in my mind while watching this game into a system I called F.A.T.A.L., which stands for Future attractiveness, Actual attractiveness, Tradeabilitly, Aid for the tank and Laughingstock appeal. Since these games don’t have a lot to talk about (especially when your best and most exciting player gets only 13 minutes of play for who knows what reason), let’s examine the guys on our roster through their F.A.T.A.L. scores. If a guy scores more than 28 at F.A.T.A.L., you might find it easier to root for him when he’s on the court.

    Before doing that, let’s take a look at how every category is graded:

    Future attractiveness: the name says it all. It doesn’t matter if your guy’s young and unproven but has a lot of potential, or if he’s already a star in the making. What matters is how good you predict he will be in three years, more or less. For reference: 1 is Vince Carter/Dirk Nowitzki, 10 is Luka/Zion.

    Actual attractiveness: again, the name says it all. How good’s your guy now? 1: Cameron Payne; 10: Giannis Antetokounmpo.

    Tradeability: a lot of factors here. The contract is in play as much as the actual skillset and position on the floor. 1: pre-stretch provision Joakim Noah; 10: pretty much every real max player on a long contract plus a few rookie scale contracts where the guys are really good. Let’s say Anthony Davis to stay in the moment.

    Aid for the tank: how badly is your guy contributing to the misfortune of his team? This time the scale is inverted as not to mix apples and oranges, so 1 is a good aid for the tank (think LaVine) and 10 is terrible aid for the tank (John Collins?). This category is hard to value for non-tanking teams, but it’s pretty clear that, I don’t know, Pascal Siakam would get 10 nonetheless.

    Laughingstock appeal: is your guy prone to at least elicit a burst of laughter in a dreary stretch of games? The scale here is not inverted, as goofy entertaiment is still entertainment, but it’s reduced from 1 to 5. 1: Chris Paul or whatever boring guy you can think of. 5: prime JaVale McGee and/or JR Smith.

    Now, with that laid on the table, let’s examine the guys who played last night and the ones we have on the injured/useless list.

    Trey Burke:

    Future Attractiveness: 3. A 29 year old welterweight back-up point guard who’s apparently not able to run basic sets must be all the rage in 2022 NBA.
    Actual Attractiveness: 4. A 26 year old welterweight back-up poing guard who’s apparently able to hit a few midrange shots might be a tad more helpful to fringe playoff teams.
    Tradeability: 6. His contract is very team-friendly, and he’s probably one of the most tradeable guys we have on our roster because of that.
    Aid for the tank: 3. He’s not as bad as other guys, but his inability to propel anyone on offense if not himself and his size on defense are not a winning formula.
    Laughingstock appeal: 2. Without his cornrows and with his relatively newfound faith, he looks pretty boring.
    Final F.A.T.A.L. score: 18.

    Tim Hardaway Jr:

    Future Attractiveness: 5. A 29 year old Jamal Crawford sixth man type should stick in the league for a while, maybe even helping actual fringe contenders.
    Actual Attractiveness: 5. A 26 year old Jamal Crawford sixth man type should be useful. The problem’s in the contract (and consequent role in the team), not in his overall play.
    Tradeability: 3. Again, the problem is the contract, and the trade kicker. Yeah, he’s “officially” on the trade block. Fun fact: I’m “officially” in search of a job in the USA, but that doesn’t mean I will likely breathe American air soon. Actually, I’m “officially” in that position since 2008, so…
    Aid for the tank: 4. Timmy’s not a tank commander anymore. He’s just a mediocre usage soaking placeholder.
    Laughingstock appeal: 3. I think Timmy’s an underrated comedic rant guy. I wish they would mic him up, I found his recent bitching promising.
    Final F.A.T.A.L. score: 20.

    Kevin Knox:

    Future Attractiveness: 6. Mayyyybe he’ll reach average efficiency by year 22, becoming a good tertiary piece. Or maybe he will bust out of the league after having changed three teams. Dunno.
    Actual Attractiveness: 3. A starting wing who’s posting negative WS/48 and highly negative BPM (-5.9) has only his young age and a few high-scoring games as reasons to like him.
    Tradeability: 7. He’s a rookie lottery pick and he’s scoring in double figures. That’s all it takes to convince a GM it makes sense to trade for him.
    Aid for the tank: 1. See “actual attractiveness”. He’s a master tank commander right now.
    Laughingstock appeal: 3. He looks always half asleep, but his confused drives and awkward floaters are exactly at the edge between “morbidly funny” and “absolute cringe”.
    Final F.A.T.A.L. score: 20.

    Lance Thomas:

    Future Attractiveness: 1. The most likely guy in the whole league to stick around only as a chemist, the role Bill Simmons invented for Royal Ivey. A guy who doesn’t contribute anything on the court but makes everything run smoothly in the locker room.
    Actual Attractiveness: 2. It would be a 1, if not for the fact that him starting makes it possible not to play Enes.
    Tradeability: 3. He’s essentially an expiring contract, could be good for matching salaries purpose.
    Aid for the tank: 2. Lance can’t even be super bad. He’s mediocre even at being bad.
    Laughingstock appeal: 4. The guy seems a serious professional. The player is an uncoordinated mess who looks like a mix between a lamppost and a housewife doing a botched impression of a whirling dervish. It’s impossible not to laugh at his spin moves. He’s also easy to build funny metaphors around.
    Final F.A.T.A.L. score: 12.

    Noah Vonleh:

    Future Attractiveness: 7. A mini Draymond Green (if this is not a contract year phenomenon) will be very useful in his prime in 2022.
    Actual Attractiveness: 6. His recent slump shouldn’t take away anything from the fact that he’s a solid player.
    Tradeability: 6. This is one of the cases where having a short contract makes it harder to trade the guy, especially because he’s at the minimum so it’s pretty much impossibile to retain him with non-Bird rights. Still, he might be in demand around the league for teams looking to shore up their frontcourt with solid if unspectacular guys.
    Aid for the tank: 6. I don’t think he could be bad enough this season to really be a tank factor even if he wanted to. He helped the tank anyway in a few games via fouling and/or turning the ball over.
    Laughingstock appeal: 2. I find him a bit blah on this. He actually fits the part of an old-school guy.
    Final F.A.T.A.L. score: 27.

    Allonzo Trier:

    Future Attractiveness: 6. He’s an old rookie. In 2022 he’ll be 26. It’s unlikely the finished product will be better that what it is now, but it still looks like a capable NBA player.
    Actual Attractiveness: 7. Yes, old, but still a rookie. It feels good when a first-year guy is even slightly productive (if his role was full-time PG, this grade would take a nosedive to 4). A bonus point for the fact that he’s the only guy who can find Mitch for a lob.
    Tradeability: 7. An even better version of the Trey Burke contract for a better level of production.
    Aid for the tank: 5. If he plays off the ball, he’s not a tank factor. If he plays PG, he’s a tank feldmarschall
    Laughingstock appeal: 2. I don’t find anything about Trier funny. Maybe the fact that he looks like a cross between Pharrell Williams and Sam Cassell? Bonus point for the Twitter blunder.
    Final F.A.T.A.L. score: 27.

    Damyean Dotson:

    Future Attractiveness: 6. If you hit 38% of your threes and don’t turn the ball over you’ll always have a spot in a rotation.
    Actual Attractiveness: 5. Maybe 5 is low, but he’s on an extended slump where he doesn’t score a lot and doesn’t rebound well.
    Tradeability: 8. His contract is ultra team-friendly. Apart from our 2019 1st and Mitch, he’s our best sweetener.
    Aid for the tank: 5. He’s so average that he can neither help nor hinder the tank.
    Laughingstock appeal: -1. I can’t overlook the alleged accusations. I’m sorry.
    Final F.A.T.A.L. score: 23.

    Mario Hezonja:

    Future Attractiveness: 1. Does anyone really think that in 2022 Hezonja will still be in the NBA?
    Actual Attractiveness: 3. His rare bursts of good basketball are too few to think it’s a good thing to have him on the court. A bonus point for the Giannis stepover.
    Tradeability: 3. He’s an expiring, which counts for something.
    Aid for the tank: 1. When he was starting, he was an amazing tank officer.
    Laughingstock appeal: 4. I like his banters with Kanter (which brings to my attention the strange fact that Clyde never rhymed Kanter with banter).
    Final F.A.T.A.L. score: 12.

    Mitchell Robinson:

    Future Attractiveness: 8. You can’t look at him without thinking he has at least a 25% chance to become the next best rim-running big man in the League. At worst, he’ll be a Chandler-lite at 23.
    Actual Attractiveness: 9. Bonus point for being a rookie. I wish NBA League Pass had an option where you could select a guy and it would show you only the portions of the game where that guy was on the floor. I wouldn’t use it this season because I have to write things, but I would certainly recommend it to everyone.
    Tradeability: 10. His contract is absurdly very team-friendly, and he’s posting absurd advanced stats.
    Aid for the tank: 4. Fouls too much and doesn’t rebound enough.
    Laughingstock appeal: 3. I think he will become a very funny guy. Right now I like the faces he makes out of frustration when he fouls out.
    Final F.A.T.A.L. score: 34.

    Emmanuel Mudiay:

    Future Attractiveness: 4. As a 26 year old back-up point guard, maybe you could do worse. Not sure, but there’s a chance.
    Actual Attractiveness: 4. Until last year I would have said he was a 2. Baby steps!
    Tradeability: 6. He’s an expiring young PG with Bird-rights attached and a soon to be RFA. A savvy front office would be calling everyone to trade him away and it wouldn’t be that hard.
    Aid for the tank: 2. If not for his improved, if unsusteinable, midrange shooting, he’d be the definitive tank commander. As it is he’s bad enough to make up for his semi-efficiency to be offset by his terrible defense and inability to involve other guys consistently.
    Laughingstock appeal: 2. I can only see sadness when I look at Mud, even during his 30-point outings.
    Final F.A.T.A.L. score: 16.

    Frank Ntilikina:

    Future Attractiveness: 5. At least three bonus points for defense and some hope he’ll fix his three point shot. If I had to guess his future only from his offensive ability, he’d be a nice backup in the French second division.
    Actual Attractiveness: 4. Only because he’s young, enjoys playing defense and we picked him. He shows glimpses, but I’m afraid that he’s too unathletic to really pan out.
    Tradeability: 6. Former lottery pick, contract not that big. Fairly easy to trade away (for a bag of beans, but still).
    Aid for the tank: 3. I think he’s actually a bit better than Mudiay, even with all his flaws. People seem to play a bit more focused around him.
    Laughingstock appeal: 2. He had a few funny turnovers, and that’s all.
    Final F.A.T.A.L. score: 21.

    Luke Kornet:

    Future Attractiveness: 7. If Matt Bullard played until 34 in a League that wasn’t as perimeter oriented as it is now, Kornet will be a nice commodity for a few years.
    Actual Attractiveness: 5. He’s definitely not a starting-caliber center. He’s also a weak rebounder.
    Tradeability: 6. Expiring, but without Bird rights.
    Aid for the tank: 5. I actually think he would have been instrumental to a few wins if not for the personnel around him.
    Laughingstock appeal: 3. Again, goofy is funny.
    Final F.A.T.A.L. score: 26.

    Enes Kanter:

    Future Attractiveness: 6. If he accepts the fact that he’s not gonna get paid and he’s not gonna start, he’ll be useful until his late thirties. His game doesn’t age.
    Actual Attractiveness: 5. He’s in the wrong situation, in the wrong city, in the wrong decade. A bonus point for fighting that lunatic Erdogan.
    Tradeability: 3. Expiring, but no chance in hell that he’ll get traded for anything valuable.
    Aid for the tank: 3. Great numbers, horrible defense. He was also actively stunting the development of a few pieces.
    Laughingstock appeal: 4. “Watch me being selected for the All-Star Game!”.
    Final F.A.T.A.L. score: 18.

    Kadeem Allen: INC (“Is it good that two two-way contract players in the same season look better than your 2017 lottery pick? Discuss”)

    Courtney Lee:

    Future Attractiveness: 1. I think this is his last contract.
    Actual Attractiveness: 3. Solid veteran. Nothing else.
    Tradeability: 2. Thanks Phil!
    Aid for the tank: 5. He’s not good for the tank, but he’s not good for anything as of now.
    Laughingstock appeal: 2. A good professional. Bonus point for the old “dumb and dumberer” tweet about Ron Baker starting in his place in 2017.
    Final F.A.T.A.L. score: 13.

    And that’s your F.A.T.A.L. chart:

    Mitch 34
    Trier 27
    Vonleh 27
    Kornet 26
    Dotson 23
    Ntilikina 21
    Knox 20
    THJ 20
    Burke 18
    Kanter 18
    Mudiay 16
    Lee 13
    Hezonja 12
    Thomas 12

    I think it works!

    And now on to see how Luka (F.A.T.A.L. score: 42) will ruthlessly shred our pathetic defense.