Statistical Analysis. Humor. Knicks.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Author: Kevin McElroy

Kevin McElroy watches the Knicks and owns a computer.

Recent Articles

J.R. Smith Has “Basketball” Explained to Him

Ace ESPN New York scribe Ohm Youngmisuk has a new article out on ESPN.com, wherein he transcribes various discussions he’s had with various Knicks’ personnel that suggest that one Earl Joseph Smith — presumably some 20+ years into the organized-basketball-playing portion of his mortal life — has come to understand some nuances of the sport that had previously escaped him.  Like “your team gets points when other people wearing the same color shirt as you put the orange thingy through that netty job” and “try to defend someone sometimes.”  We’ll take this one FJM style: The adjustment to the triangle offense has been …continue reading

Celtics REDACTED, Knicks 404 NOT FOUND

Tonight the Knicks and Celtics had a preseason game scheduled.  If you choose to accept that it happened, feel free to comment on it below.  If you want to believe that summer can last forever and backdoor cuts past an unsuspecting Andrea Bargnani are still a glimmer in the eye of a distant autumn, then by all means fly away from these parts like a beggar on his wish-horse.  Whatever happened tonight (which I’m not conceding was ANYTHING) is the first warm-up stretch before an 8-month-long marathon and it’s hardly the time to pull a muscle or — if I may terminate the extended …continue reading

Heat 102, Knicks 91

New York Knicks 91 FinalRecap | Box Score 102 Miami Heat Amar’e Stoudemire, PF 30 MIN | 5-9 FG | 2-2 FT | 5 REB | 1 AST | 1 STL | 1 BLK | 2 TO | 12 PTS | -11Mike Woodson : Amar’e Stoudemire getting important minutes :: The Captain of the Titanic : The TitanicHere’s a quick shot of Amar’e looking slightly out of position while trying to defend Chris Bosh: Carmelo Anthony, SF 44 MIN | 4-17 FG | 4-5 FT | 5 REB | 6 AST | 2 STL | 1 BLK | 1 TO …continue reading

At Hardwood Paroxysm: Zen and the Art of Knickerbocker Maintenance

Morning, gang.  I’m excited to report that I posted my first piece for Hardwood Paroxysm today.  It deals, as you might expect, with the seemingly impending Phil Jackson hire, why it probably won’t work, and why it still might work. Here’s some of it: Where some billionaires buy art or cars or pricey new gadgets, Dolan buys Big Names. They are his vanity pieces. Their success and creativity qualifies them as things worthy of his possession, even his desire, but like any good vanity piece, they…well, it’s right there in the name. When that same success and creativity stop serving …continue reading

Knicks 123, Sixers 110

Philadelphia 76ers 110 Final Recap | Box Score 123 New York Knicks Amar’e Stoudemire, PF 30 MIN | 9-10 FG | 5-8 FT | 6 REB | 0 AST | 0 STL | 1 BLK | 2 TO | 23 PTS | +21Let’s get the bad news that isn’t really news at all out of the way first: Amar’e Stoudemire is not someone who can offer even a remotely passable performance on the defensive end when he is the center in an otherwise small lineup. And his defense was atrocious tonight: his rotations were slow and sloppy, his help uncertain …continue reading

Knicks Waive Beno Udrih and Metta World Peace

Now this, from the heralds atop Mount Knickerbocker: NEW YORK, February 24, 2014 – New York Knickerbockers President and General Manager Steve Mills announced today that the team has waived guard Beno Udrih and forward Metta World Peace. “We are disappointed that it did not work out for Beno and Metta here in New York,” Mills said. “We thank them for their contributions this season and wish them well.” Udrih, 6-3, 210-pounds, averaged 5.6 points and 3.5 assists over 19.0 minutes in 31 games (12 starts) for the Knicks this season after signing as a free agent on Aug. 8, …continue reading

Grizzlies 98, Knicks 93

And now a reading from the Book of Knickerbocker here on the commencement of the season’s nominal second half and its lesson is so timely that it speaks to the night’s 98-93 defeat in Memphis and the season as a whole in equal parts. And the lesson is this: sometimes a first half can be butchered so thoroughly that even an impressive second half — one where the coach makes adjustments that had long been wanting, one where the players’ intensity and skill both reach a new plane — proves futile. In a year that’s already bore its way down …continue reading