Statistical Analysis. Humor. Knicks.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Author: Robert Silverman

Hey, did you know that in addition to banging the keys here and occasionally for the NY Times and at ESPN, Robert is a playwright, an actor and a wand'ring mendicant/gadfly? He also once wrestled a bear...and lost.

Recent Articles

Knicks 108, Raptors 100

New York Knicks 108 Final Recap | Box Score 100 Toronto Raptors Amar’e Stoudemire, PF 40 MIN | 10-14 FG | 4-6 FT | 11 REB | 0 AST | 0 STL | 1 BLK | 0 TO | 24 PTS | +14 Hi there Amar’e Stoudemire! Just a nifty pu pu platter of 2010-ish STAT goodness. Pick and roll dunks. Low post backdowns with a soupcon of nifty spin moves and jukes. Dives off of swell ball movement. Yummy. Douse this entire game in plum sauce and gobble it up. In a related story, I’m hungry. Hell, he even …continue reading

Wizards 90, Knicks 89

Washington Wizards 90 Final Recap | Box Score 89 New York Knicks (Editor’s Note: The recap generator’s on the fritz, please pardon the somewhat haggard formatting) AMAR’E STOUDEMIRE, B Any memories one might have of a brick-tastic and logy first half were eradicated by a splendid third quarter, filled with the entire menu of Amar’e’s delicious scoring entrées—smooth-as-the-other-side-of-the-pillow midrange J’s, quick low-post buckets, and much rolling and dunking at the rim. You know, like this: CARMELO ANTHONY, D- Melo: "The dogfight we were in? There was no way I was coming out" — Kenny Ducey (@KennyDucey) April 5, 2014 Okay, …continue reading

Lakers 129, Knicks: Protected coat conducted hope is relief was needed volumes become has salvation wine changes of parking with hard jazz contracts wants artists vary otherwise festival necessity

New York Knicks 96 Final Recap | Box Score 127 Los Angeles Lakers Amar’e Stoudemire, PF 27 MIN | 7-14 FG | 2-2 FT | 2 REB | 0 AST | 0 STL | 1 BLK | 1 TO | 16 PTS | -30 From manufacturer aside, practical reduction book has resulted in brushed success when evaluated over FY2011-12 with respects to those who harbor hatred for Burkina Faso governmental fiat The planetary range of the nation if A-145 of C-73.2 shoulder carries frame. Berlin is BAWSE Directions seldom is referred comfort toward that which always planet respectable training. Like …continue reading

Cavs 106, Knicks 100: Kübler-Ross Stage Five

Cleveland Cavaliers 106 Final Recap | Box Score 100 New York Knicks “All terrible Knick losses are alike; yet each is unhappy in its own way.” – Leo Tolstoy, Knicks fan (probably) A brief convo sprung up at the conclusion of this godawfully stupid game on the Twitters, about ranking the excruciating defeats. Certainly, this one would have to rank pretty high, if only because, while we should have seen it coming, not just because of history and this season and everything, even during the 8-game era of good feeling, there were some serious warning signs; like, “I’ve got a …continue reading

Knicks 92, Pacers 86

Indiana Pacers 86 Final Recap | Box Score 92 New York Knicks Amar’e Stoudemire, PF 29 MIN | 8-15 FG | 5-6 FT | 4 REB | 0 AST | 0 STL | 0 BLK | 1 TO | 21 PTS | +8 Yeah, STAT’s gotten better on defense. Hey, look! A flying pig! We still saw a sequence or two where he loses track of dribble penetration and does that “I’M STICKING WITH MY MAN SO THAT’S GOOD, RIGHT YOU GUYS? CAN’T BLAME ME, BECAUSE YOU LIKE TOLD ME TO GUARD THIS GUY AND I’M TOTALLY DOING THAT, SEE?” …continue reading

Kings 106, Knicks: I Don’t Care

Sacramento Kings 106 Final Recap | Box Score 101 New York Knicks Did you ever read the Julian Jaynes tome, The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind? It’s been more or less discredited as a theory, but in sum, the author suggests that consciousness (as we know it) is a human capacity that only developed in the last 3,000 years. According to Jaynes, prior to this evolution, people didn’t make conscious choices when faced with a difficult or confusing or surprising situation. Instead, they’d obey the dictums of a voice or “god” telling them what to …continue reading

Heat 106, Knicks 91

Miami Heat 106 Final Recap | Box Score 91 New York Knicks Well, we knew once the Florida_Men got eviscerated by the OKC Frackers on Thursday that they’d be loaded for bear, what with the national broadcast and celebrities of all shapes and sizes in town for the Crypto-FascistGroundAcquisitionWarBall [h/t Robert Downey Jr.] Championship Game tomorrow. Seriously, look at the freaking Lombardi trophy—it’s like Albert Speer designed the thing in the midst of his worst Benzedrine-fueled, feverish, sleepless night. But I digress. Where were we? Oh yes. The MSG staff tasked with determining what Q-rating merits what choice, high-visibility seat …continue reading