i see clyde has his own convertible rolls…well deserved

These attempts at hypocrisy gotchas do little more than inculcate the idea that there is no point in trying to be an ethical person and critiquing power when it’s warranted, which is exactly why it’s a message loved by authoritarians the world over.

I can understand, “I disagree with you — I’m fine with The Dictator.”

I can understand, “I agree with you, but there’s nothing we can do, if we try to do anything, The Dictator will find us and kill us or throw us in jail.”

I can understand, “I agree with you, but let’s not talk about it anymore, if we do The Dictator will find us and kill us or throw us in jail.”

I can understand, “I agree with you, and I’d love to do something about it, but both you and I know that the way we were raised and educated and the way our personalities are, it’s going to be tough for us psychologically to try anything and we’ll probably fail.”

I absolutely cannot understand — and hardly knew it existed (*) — “I agree with you about The Dictator, I hate him too — but you cheated on Hilda for eight months last year, so you’re a hypocrite, who are you to criticize?!!?!?!?!?”

(*) But as a dedicated humanist, detester of authoritarianism and authoritarians, and Knicks fan, I’m glad that being a Knicks fan taught me something new about authoritarians today.

I recently learned that Gary Henman, known to many of us here as Gkhenman, passed away suddenly on April 10. I only discovered this after wondering why he hadn’t been participating in a group chat of Knicks fans he & and I were in.

I had dinner with Gary when he visited New York earlier this year. He was exactly the kind of person who made an evening better simply by being there. He was gregarious, warm, and genuinely interested in others. He spoke often about his family, especially his daughter, Asha, of whom he was immensely proud.

Gary worked for Vanguard and was approaching retirement. He told me about his plans to move to Belize and spend the next chapter of his life in the place he loved most. It was clear he was looking forward to it.

There is one part of this story that I can’t stop thinking about.

Four weeks ago, Gary’s family scheduled a celebration of his life and invited those who knew and loved him to gather in his honor. The date they chose — a month ago! — was Saturday, June 13th, the very day the Knicks won the championship.

It’s hard not to feel sadness that Gary wasn’t here to witness this run himself, knowing how much joy he would have taken from it. But I prefer to think of it another way. Maybe, in some small way, he was guiding it all along.

Rest in peace, Gary. You will be missed.

For those who would like to learn more about Gary or see some of the tributes shared by his family and friends, I’m including a link below. Please note that it is his daughter’s Instagram page.

https://www.instagram.com/thetalldoll/p/DW8_cwTFZH-/