Statistical Analysis. Humor. Knicks.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Wizards 98, Knicks 89

New York Knicks 89 Final
Recap | Box Score
98 Washington Wizards

[WARNING: This recap contains graphic, non-Knick content in the individual grades. Feel free to skip to the 'Five things' section, if you're so inclined.]

Kenyon Martin, PF 25 MIN | 2-5 FG | 0-1 FT | 7 REB | 3 AST | 0 STL | 1 BLK | 0 TO | 4 PTS | -3

Yemen–On Friday, three people were killed at a wedding party when a guest dancing to “Gangnam Style” while holding an AK-47 accidentally fired into the crowd.

Wedding guests were singing and dancing along to Psy’s hit song, when the incident occurred. A video of the shooting went viral According to the New York Post: One man is shown sprawled on the floor, his arms extended at his side and blood covering the ground. It ends in a chaotic scene with at least two other people laying wounded or dying on the floor and several guests running from the dance area.

Yemen has been plagued for decades by a tradition of firing weapons in the air during wedding celebrations. Grooms often pose for photos on their wedding day with ornamental rifles. But in recent years, the Sana’a government has tried to crack down because guests were using heavier artillery, including assault rifles, rocket or grenades launchers and anti-aircraft mortars.

Andrea Bargnani, PF 33 MIN | 5-14 FG | 0-0 FT | 4 REB | 5 AST | 0 STL | 1 BLK | 1 TO | 11 PTS | -13

A distraught mother who lost her young sons in the tidal surge of Super Typhoon Haiyan feels her life is over.

“I guess I’m just thinking to jump from that building,” Gelenbelle Vergara tells CNN’s Karl Penhaul on Sunday. “This is what would be my life’s worth. My sons are dead. I just pray that I also dead with them. What would be my life worth now?”

She combs the debris, scours the morgues and pours over the list of victims found in Tacloban, Philippines.

“I don’t have sons I don’t know if they’re dead or where their bodies are I don’t know if dogs in the street are eating their bodies already.”

Along with nearly 4,000 deaths, about 3 million people have been displaced, communities have been flattened and looting and violence have erupted.

Carmelo Anthony, SF 41 MIN | 9-19 FG | 3-4 FT | 12 REB | 2 AST | 0 STL | 0 BLK | 1 TO | 23 PTS | -11

Little Rock, AR — Shocking hidden-camera video of animal abuse secretly recorded at a farm that supplies pork to Tyson Foods that is sold in Walmart stores nationwide will be released this morning by the national animal protection organization Mercy For Animals. The video shows sadistic and egregious cruelty, including workers throwing a bowling ball at a pig’s head, and kicking, throwing, hitting, body slamming, and otherwise torturing pregnant pigs and piglets.

The disturbing undercover video, recorded at West Coast Farms in Okfuskee County, Oklahoma, reveals a culture of cruelty and abuse at this Tyson pork producer, including the following:

• Workers viciously punching, kicking, beating, and violently shaking animals and pulling out their hair
• Piglets having their tails hacked off and their testicles ripped out of their bodies without painkillers
• Workers slamming conscious piglets headfirst against the ground and spiking them like footballs
• Pregnant pigs confined to tiny, maggot-infested gestation crates barely able to move for their entire lives
• Workers shoving their fingers into pigs’ eyes and hitting them with wooden boards
• Piglets left to suffer and slowly die on dead piles without proper veterinary care
• A worker throwing a heavy bowling ball at a pig’s head

Beno Udrih, PG 25 MIN | 1-7 FG | 0-0 FT | 4 REB | 5 AST | 0 STL | 0 BLK | 2 TO | 2 PTS | -1

Madison — A Wisconsin man accused of locking his teenage daughter in the basement and starving her down to 68 pounds was convicted Friday of child abuse and other charges, but was acquitted of false imprisonment.

The case came to light in February 2012 when a passing motorist found the girl wandering the streets after she had run away from home. The girl told investigators she had spent most of the past five years confined to the basement of her family’s home and was denied food despite begging to eat. She said her stepmother beat her and her stepbrother repeatedly forced her to perform sex acts on him.

A jury Friday found the father guilty of reckless endangerment, intentional child abuse and causing mental harm to a child. But it found the Madison man not guilty of a charge of false imprisonment for allegedly keeping his daughter in a basement.

The 42-year-old father took the unusual step of testifying in his own defense during his second trial, saying his daughter suffered from severe behavioral problems and he did his best to get her help. He put her in the basement after a psychologist said she should live on a different level of the home from the rest of the family, he said.

He boarded up the windows so she wouldn’t climb out and raid the neighbors’ trash, he said. But he denied ever locking her in or withholding food, saying she simply refused to eat the meals he made for her and chose to dine on crumbs and garbage.

Iman Shumpert, SG 27 MIN | 2-4 FG | 1-2 FT | 1 REB | 4 AST | 3 STL | 0 BLK | 1 TO | 6 PTS | -3

Salem— A 14-year-old Massachusetts boy used an object to sexually assault his popular high school algebra teacher before killing and robbing her, according to an indictment issued Thursday.

Philip Chism has been held without bail since shortly after the Oct. 22 slaying of 24-year-old Colleen Ritzer, whose body was found behind Danvers High School after she never returned home from school.

“The indictments returned today detail horrific and unspeakable acts,” Essex County District Attorney Jonathan Blodgett said.

The indictment says Chism, armed with a box cutter, stole Ritzer’s underwear, credit cards and iPhone. A ruling on her exact cause of death is pending

Amar’e Stoudemire, PF 22 MIN | 5-5 FG | 2-4 FT | 4 REB | 1 AST | 1 STL | 0 BLK | 0 TO | 12 PTS | -7

French police are crying cannibalism after a man in southern France allegedly cut out a man’s heart and tongue with the intention of eating them.

Police in Nouilhan arrested a 26-year-old homeless man late Thursday night. According to local outlets, the man is accused of breaking into a 90-year-old’s home and bashing in his skull with a metal tool from the resident’s barn. Investigators say the man then set fire to the corpse, cut out the victim’s heart and tongue and may have cooked them, Le Parisien reports.

When authorities arrived at the scene, they discovered a calcinated body, along with some cooked meat and white beans on a plate.

Metta World Peace, SF 10 MIN | 2-7 FG | 0-0 FT | 3 REB | 0 AST | 0 STL | 1 BLK | 1 TO | 5 PTS | +2

New York — A sick so-called game known as “knockout” — where teens randomly sucker-punch strangers with the goal of knocking them unconscious with a single blow — is catching the attention of law enforcement throughout the nation.

“Knockout” can be fatal. In New Jersey, Ralph Santiago, 46, a homeless man, was walking alone in Hoboken on the night of September 10 when he was suddenly struck from behind, said Hoboken Detective Anthony Caruso.

The blow knocked out Santiago, who had a pre-existing brain injury. He suffered a seizure. The victim’s body struck a nearby fence, with part of the wrought iron fence piercing his body and killing him, Caruso said.

Surveillance video in the area showed three teens running from the scene. Two weeks later, police arrested the juveniles and charged them in connection with the killing. Caruso said the attack was unprovoked.

Pablo Prigioni, PG 19 MIN | 2-4 FG | 0-0 FT | 1 REB | 3 AST | 1 STL | 0 BLK | 0 TO | 6 PTS | -9

Bismarck, N.D. — The leader of the National Socialist Movement says the group may help defend a North Dakota white separatist against terrorizing charges.

Jeff Schoep says he doesn’t know all the details of an incident that resulted in Craig Cobb’s arrest last weekend, but he’ll be reviewing videotape to see if Cobb was treated fairly.

Cobb could be imprisoned for up to 35 years if convicted. He first said he would defend himself, but has since been appointed public defenders.

Cobb wants to turn the small town of Leith into an Aryan enclave. He’s accused of terrorizing residents with guns. He says he was patrolling the town because of violence and harassment directed at him.

Schoep traveled to Leith in September to hold a town meeting in support of Cobb.

Toure’ Murry, SG 1 MIN | 0-0 FG | 0-0 FT | 0 REB | 0 AST | 0 STL | 0 BLK | 0 TO | 0 PTS | +1

Hi Toure’!

Tim Hardaway Jr., SG 7 MIN | 2-3 FG | 0-0 FT | 1 REB | 1 AST | 0 STL | 0 BLK | 0 TO | 5 PTS | +1

In California’s San Joaquin Valley, about halfway between Bakersfield and Fresno, on the outskirts of the fly-infested, windblown, stink-soaked, dry-mouth town of Corcoran, sits the squat, sprawling expanse of Corcoran State Prison, where Charlie Manson is serving out the rest of a life sentence for his part in the peace-and-love-era-ending Tate-LaBianca slayings of 1969. He has just entered the visiting room.

He doesn’t look how he used to look, of course, all resplendent in buckskin fringe, sometimes sporting an ascot or the Technicolor patchwork vest sewn by his girls, with his suave goatee and his mad Rasputin eyes and his fantastical ability to lunge out of his seat at the judge presiding over his trial, pencil at the ready to jam into the old guy’s throat, before being subdued and thereby helping to cement a guilty verdict. Those days are gone. He’s 79 years old. He’s an old man with a nice head of gray hair but bad hearing, bad lungs, and chipped-and-fractured, prison-dispensed bad dentures. He walks with a cane and lifts it now, in greeting to his visitors, one of whom is a slender, dark-haired woman he calls Star.

“Star!” he says. “She’s not a woman. She’s a star in the Milky Way!”

He shuffles toward her, opening his arms, grinning, and she kind of drifts in his direction.

From a raised platform in the room’s center, two guards armed with pepper spray and truncheons keep an eye on the couple. Star is 25 years old, comes from a town on the Mississippi River, was raised a Baptist, keeps a tidy home, is a prim dresser and has a fun sense of humor.

J.R. Smith, SG 30 MIN | 6-14 FG | 0-4 FT | 3 REB | 0 AST | 2 STL | 0 BLK | 3 TO | 15 PTS | -2

George Bush painted this cat for his daughter.

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Mike Woodson

Serious question: despite El Grande Jefe Loco’s insistence that you’re the man for the job, because respect (or something), would you like to be fired? Shave off your goatee before Monday’s game if the answer is “yes” but you’re unable to speak freely.

Five Things We Saw

  1. Oh, the game. Right. Yeah. I mention all of the above atrocities, because:

    1) As I sit here stewing on a Saturday night, complaining about this execrable team and their equally poop-headed coach, I thought it wise to remind myself of what’s going on in the rest of the world. There are nightmares out there—and all of the above occurred this week—that make my and your and the rest of Knick Knation’s of this fretting about a putrid basketball team look like Marie Antoinette complaining about a stain in the dress her handmaiden crafted for her whilst the Parisian citizenry was starving and covered in literal shit. Perspective, yo.

    2) There’s really not much to say that hasn’t been recited like so many soulless talking points in the prior 11 games.

    So yes, this was yet another ugly loss. The D.C. Illusionists looked at the Island of Misfit Toys-ish rotation that surrounded Melo and made the tactical decision (wisely) that they were going to double the heck out of him and force the other Knicks to make good decisions with the ball. For the bulk of the first half, this occurred, so despite the gossamer spider’s web, gently ebbing and flowing in the wind that the Knicks called, “defense,” they were up. They were getting shredded by wall, which falls just below death n’ the taxman on the predictability scale. Maybe after they’ve gone under their umpteenth screen and Wall’s canned his 1.0?×?10(9th power) jumper off a screen, you do something different? Nah, never mind. But bully on Melo for not forcing the action and getting clean looks within the flow (for lack of a better word) of the offense, but in in the 3rd, open jumpers stopped falling, which begat to terrible shots, which begat the Prestidigitators beating them like a gong on the glass, which begat fast break opportunities galore, which begat the Wizards’ realization that any basic PnR with Wall/Beal and a big would garner a wide open, easy bucket, which begat leaving shooters like Beal and Webster wide open from three, which begat Jacob, which begat Isaac, son of Jacob.

    There were bright spots in this seemingly bottomless chasm filled with row after row of razor-sharp shark’s teeth, such Amar’e (finally) proving an effective weapon in the low post, there are countless demons/trolls lurking in the darkness–Udrih proving utterly ineffective unless he’s scoring (fits right in with the rest of this team) and Metta looking/playing like a the town drunk in a 19th century Irish novel. See here:

    And so it goes.

  2. Still, despite all that, they were only down three with 7:51 left. Woodson went with the STAT-Melo-Bargs front line and the Wiz (shockingly) went on a 9-2 run. To make matters worse, they once again went with the zero PG look as some kind of demented finishing kick for the final four minutes, but without even the sub-par point play they’d gotten for the prior 44, the offense descended into what I can only assume the psychedelic world looks like when JR has a bad trip, what with all the iguanas nibbling on his ankles while he’s soaring into a sea of gila monsters packing the paint and firing a cross-court pass at what appears to be a golem playing the accordion while wearing nothing but a bowler hat and heart-festooned too-tight boxer shorts.
  3. Speaking of our fave gunner, the stat line looks perfectly reasonable, by he drank some horrible concoction crafted in a mad scientists’ lair and Bad JR came full flower in the fourth, ghastly turnovers, step back 20 footers with glacial amounts of time remaining on the shot clock and four consecutive missed free throws, the first two of which evidently granted each paying customer a free Chik-fil-A sammich. I think JR missed the next couple because he wanted to insure that he got some yummy fast food grub, too. It’s only fair.
  4. And for Clyde and Spero, who were chewing the fat early in the game, and babbling some gibbering about how impressed they were with Bargs’ D, I offer this…

    So John Wall is streaking from one end of the court to the other, as is his wont. Bargs, rushes to “defend” him (along with three other Knicks), leaving Jan Vesely to cruise down the lane for a dunk. Andrea, you’re the star of Jan’s first (and possibly last) posterization. What should he have done instead? Sing along! Bonnie Tyler makes everything better! Cl

    (Turn around Bargs Eyes)
    Every now and then
    I get a little bit lonely
    And you’re never coming round

    (Turn around, Bargs Eyes)
    Every now and then
    I get a little bit tired
    Of listening to the sound of my tears

    (Turn around. Bargs Eyes)
    Every now and then
    I get a little bit nervous
    That the best of all the Knick years have gone by

  5. So what now? I dunno. They could still turn it around, of course. Or things could get infinitely worse. Like say, open revolt:

    This’ll end well. For now, we might as well start bombing the twitter feed of the guys who are evidently running the team. HE WHO TROLLS LAST AND BEST WINS.

27 comments on “Wizards 98, Knicks 89

  1. Zanzibar

    REPOST
    Before Felton went out, Bargnani had been plus in these 2 lineups as the center.

    (1) Bargs-Melo-Shumpert-Felton-JR (+24 overall for 70 minutes total) This unit had the highest number of minutes and second highest plus value of all lineups (+6.3/game, only slightly below +6.5 of a Chandler lineup without Bargnani).

    (2) Bargs-Melo-Shumpert-Felton-MWP (+3 overall for 24 minutes)

    So Felton goes out with injury, pretty logical to maybe insert your backup PG into at least that 1st lineup. So let’s check # of minutes that modified first lineup was played against Wiz and Pacers:

    Bargs-Melo-Shumpert-JR-Prigs: Wizards ZERO Minutes; Indy ZERO Minutes

    Well how about Beno Udrih instead of Prigs: Wizards ZERO; Pacers: 8 minutes going +3

    OK well what about that second lineup using Pablo? Wizards ZERO; Pacers ZERO

    And finally, Beno in that second lineup? Wizards ZERO; Pacers ZERO

    —————————————————————————–

    Does this make any sense to you in a supposedly stats-driven organization? A major effort has been to determine in what type of lineup Bargs fits best. There’s some logic and stats which suggest the type of lineup. And seventy minutes is a fairly large sample size. How do you not play that lineup at all against the Wizards? And how do you play Shump only 27 minutes – why not have him guard Wall the for 40 minutes? What am I missing here?

  2. Frank O.

    All of the negatives said, the Knicks in the fourth were in a position to win, but JR’s mental collapse single-handedly did them in. Being at the game, I have never realized the level of sulking he can achieve. After missing the first foul shot, the fans really woke for the first time when they realized they might win a chicken sandwich (pathetic), and JR’s demised seemed a fait accompli. His second missed sent him into a pit of despair, and a fan to might right to lament: tomorrow is Sunday so you can’t get your chic fil a right away.
    After that, JR list his man on D several times, threw the ball away, and then missed a few more from the stripe.
    In the end, he really blew the game.
    The third period was lax, and careless. Bad.
    Add insult to injury, I swore never to go to chic fil a, so I won’t be redeeming my ticket.

  3. The Honorable Cock Jowles

    My favorite part is when ruruland talks about Carmelo Anthony’s next move like he’s part of the entourage.

    Which Truehoop board do you think ruruland will end up on next? The Lakers’?

  4. stratomatic

    >Add insult to injury, I swore never to go to chic fil a, so I won’t be redeeming my ticket.<

    Can I have it?

    Not only do I love the chicken, I support their right to support whatever causes they want.

  5. DRed

    Marcin Gortat 7-11, 16 points, 17 rebounds (including 7 on the offensive glass). That’s really all that needs to be said.

  6. kronicfatigue

    I don’t watch much basketball. I lurk here and will only really get into the Knicks once Dolan is out of the picture (never?). But I watched most of the game last night and my God, I would probably have to own a Gortat jersey if he played anywhere close to that on a regular basis. Not in terms of results, but just style/effort. That’s the most visually pleasing basketball to my eyes.

    Where have you gone, Charles Oakley, a nation turns its lonely eyes towards you

  7. massive

    It’s looking like the “let Carmelo leave and hope Jabari Parker stays two years” plan is the best way to go at this point. But by then, we’d have traded Iman Shumpert and made JR Smith our franchise player. Because Knicks.

    That said, I don’t think we’re completely screwed. Not until Tyson Chandler comes back, at least.

  8. DRed

    Without Chandler, it’s a lottery team.

    Can a team with no draft picks ever be considered a lottery team?

    Speaking of Tyson, I wonder what we could get the Clippers to give up for him? We should seriously consider trading both him and Melo, cause this ship be sinking.

  9. Bruno Almeida

    the 50 win prediction, sadly, looks as dumb now as when it was made.

    this is a terrible basketball team from the 90s playing in the era of advanced stats, 3 pointers, no mid range jumpers and so on.

    and Bargnani might be playing decently, which is a nice surprise for me, but how does trading those picks feel now huh? another pathetic move, because Knicks.

  10. JK47

    Melo opting out and leaving for nothing, the 2014 pick turning into a star player and the 2016 pick turning into a high lottery pick all seem like foregone conclusions at this point. All the horrendous decisions are coming home to roost. If the Knicks were creative they could probably flip Melo and Chandler for long-term assets, but of course they’ll do the dumbest possible thing and let both of those guys leave, getting nothing in return.

  11. JK47

    I just look forward to a day when JR Smith, the single dumbest player in the NBA, is not a Knick anymore. That guy is the worst.

  12. Owen

    It’s a lottery team without a draft pick, also known as a “Knicks team.”

    That’s funny.

    Things do feel grim here. Not nearly as bad as they are in Tacloban, for sure. But I can say, the typhoon victims I feel the worst for are the ones who are Knicks fans….

    Going back to review my copy of The Theory of Moral Sentiments rather than think any more about our pick and roll defense….

  13. JK47

    Patience is for chumps. Draft picks are for losers. The only “assets” worth holding are a pair of stripper boobs.

  14. Frank O.

    Can I have it?

    Not only do I love the chicken, I support their right to support whatever causes they want.

    I don’t question the owner’s right to support his causes.
    But I don’t have to support him.

  15. er

    They could end up a 50-win team, right?

    The distain you and your ilk have for this team really make my time at this site enjoyable. Honestly. But yea the Knicks could end up a 50 win team. The team will go on a 15-5 run soon mark my words …..

  16. Will the Thrill

    . The team will go on a 15-5 run soon mark my words …..

    Don’t know if this is sarcasm or not, but I will mark these words haha

  17. er

    Hey thrill. Iam delusional seriously. I cant believe what i am seeing. The thing about the loss to the Bullets is that the team wasnt that bad offensively. The second half defense was some of the worst i have ever seen. This cant be life. So i will just live in lala land and believe that either Woody magically learns how to have these players in better position or he gets fired and we get someone in here who can.

    The team went on 2 pretty good runs last year so hopefully they can this year

  18. Donnie Walsh

    An immediate 15-5 run would only bring the record to 18-14… At that point they’d still need to win at a 2:1 clip over the last 48 games to get to 50 wins.

Comments are closed.