Statistical Analysis. Humor. Knicks.

Monday, September 1, 2014

Where Will Brown Go Next?

Now that Michael Jordan has fired Larry Brown and his entire staff, I wondered where the wanderlustful coach will end up. Here are my guesses:

* Cleveland Cavaliers – They just lost LeBron and could use the first overall pick. Give the team to Larry, then trade away anyone of defensive value (Varejao and Moon for sure). Give him a rotation where Gibson, Jamison, and Hickson need to play major minutes then watch as Brown pouts his way to an 11 win season and a top 3 pick. Just make sure that Larry is gone before the draft.

* Dallas Mavericks – Rick Carlisle has the Mavs as one of the top teams in the league, yet Dallas still trails their state-mates by 1.5 games in their own division. If they don’t win the big one this year, I can see Mark Cuban give up on actually winning in the NBA and using the Mavs to make one of the most interesting reality shows of all time. Who wouldn’t tune in to see what happens when Dirk Nowitzki, DeShawn Stevenson, and Larry Brown try to make an amuse bouche for Lakshmi and Colicchio?

* Chicago Bulls – What better way for Larry Brown to exact revenge on Jordan than by going to Michael’s old team and ruining it?

* Orlando Magic – Don’t think Brown could take the league’s 5th best defense and make them #1 by year’s end? Heck on his off-days he can help the Orlando president figure out trades. For once Larry Brown giving a GM advice might actually be an improvement. As a Knick fan, hoping for a very unhappy Dwight Howard, this would thrill me.

* New York Knicks – James Dolan loves to bring guys that already have failed in New York, so it’s a perfect fit. Brown would be hired as an assistant coach to help D’Antoni with the Knicks defense, but would spend most of his time undermining him and plotting to take over his job.

* New Jersey Nets – Whoever the Knicks want, the Nets will want. With that in mind, Dolan should try to re-hire Isiah every month.

5 comments on “Where Will Brown Go Next?

  1. jon abbey

    hahaha, awesome.

    a slightly more realistic suggestion is he could take Jeff Van Gundy’s announcer job, then maybe I would never have to hear that Bill Walton wannabe again.

  2. David Crockett

    Larry goes back to UCLA.

    Did you guys know that the Bobcats have a big-ass picture of Sean May up at the *new* stadium? I realize there isn’t a lot of Bobcats lore, but really? Sean May?

  3. jon abbey

    “Jvg=Walton ?

    Not even close dude. ”

    what I mean is that they both adopt/adopted similarly fake personas for their jobs as commentators, when they’d both have been better served by just talking hoops. JVG says things all the time solely to be ‘controversial’, but instead he just comes across as an idiot.

  4. Z

    Wait, did Jordan fire him or did he resign? MSG reported during the game he resigned. (Regardless, this is a great read.)

    I like the Dallas idea. Carlisle is Larry Brown’s fluffer. Carlisle was coaching the Pistons to consecutive 50 win seasons and a trip to the ECF when Brown replaced him and won his championship. Dallas is pretty well primed for Brown now.

    And Jon– I know exactly what you mean. For some reason the NBA thinks they have found a winning formula by having a play-by-play guy flanked by two numbskulls who take contrived opposing viewpoints. Started with Walton and Snapper Jones. Clearly they are rehashing with Van G and Jackson. It is inauthentic and boring.

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