|Carmelo Anthony, SF 29 MIN | 8-17 FG | 2-2 FT | 5 REB | 0 AST | 18 PTS | +29
Yawn. Hit a post up from the elbow. Mmm, what time is it anyway? Drive the lane when they overplay. Really, did someone spike my Gatorade with Tryptofan? Pass out of the Double. Seriously, it’s like I’m at a Warhol Film Festival! ‘Melo wasn’t tested, and dispatched whichever Singleton was guarding him with ease, letting lose with a few KG-style yawps after putting home a bully-boy rebound to end the 1st and 2nd quarter and all of the solid play that we’ve seen during the reign of Son of Wood was present, but all in all, ‘Melo looked more bemused by the pathetic, sopping-wet paper towel level of resistance that was put in his path
|Landry Fields, G 32 MIN | 2-7 FG | 0-0 FT | 7 REB | 4 AST | 4 PTS | +36
On a night like tonight, one might hope that Landry would put his cardiovascular exertion to good use working some of the considerable kinks out of his ungainly shot, but alas, ’twas not to be. He did a nifty job sticking with Washington’s perimeter shooters (for lack of a better term) and had a few nice ‘bounds n’ dimes, but some were hoping (Okay, the Silverman household at least was nail-chewingly hoping) that he’d unearth his dormant-longer-than-the-Kraken perimeter game.
|Tyson Chandler, C 30 MIN | 2-7 FG | 4-6 FT | 15 REB | 1 AST | 8 PTS | +28
This recap may start to get a bit repetitive (not to be repetitive) but Chandler’s usual blood-curdling intensity wasn’t present tonight. He doinked some easy shots at the rim and even committed Mark Jackson’s infamous “Hand Down, Man Down” sin on one Kevin Seraphin bucket. Not that it made a jot of difference in the game, but it was almost shocking, like hearing your Mom say, “Yeah whatever. Don’t worry about cleaning your room. It’s cool. Wanna blaze up?”
|Baron Davis, PG 23 MIN | 7-9 FG | 0-0 FT | 1 REB | 2 AST | 18 PTS | +16
See, now THAT’s how you make use of an opponent who looked more enervated than a paranoid schizophrenic who’s been pumped to the gills with enough Nembutal and Seconal to fell a bull elephant who just discovered his elephant-wife in bed with another, far less attractive elephant. He was moving better than we’d seen in weeks and drilling his outside shot with aplomb.. Once again, tonight’s opponent is no measuring stick, but if B-Dizzle can be even a semblance of his former self, it opens up a number of options on offense, mainly the semi-shelved pick and roll with Tyson (or even, dare I dream, STAT). In any case, 18 points on 7-9 from the field certainly made for a sweet 34th B-day present to himself.
|Iman Shumpert, G 23 MIN | 1-5 FG | 1-1 FT | 3 REB | 2 AST | 3 PTS | +14
Is Shump’s ankle okay? Really, that’s all that matters at this point. If the Gods take Shump…oh cruel, indifferent world!
|Mike Bibby, PG 23 MIN | 2-4 FG | 0-0 FT | 2 REB | 2 AST | 6 PTS | +19
Evidently the stench of the Cleveland Steamer the Wiz dumped unceremoniously on the chest of interim coach Randy Wittman was potent/pungent enough to revive Thanatos the former All-Star Point Guard here. Again, when drawing conclusions, treat the Wizards like a high-sodium diet, but it was swell to see Bibbytos hit open shots.
|Jared Jeffries, PF 5 MIN | 0-1 FG | 0-0 FT | 2 REB | 0 AST | 0 PTS | +2
No need to stretch out Jared’s balky knee tonight.
|Steve Novak, SF 22 MIN | 6-11 FG | 3-3 FT | 1 REB | 0 AST | 18 PTS | +14
I’m still tickled by the reception the Garden crowd has when Novak enters the game, let alone the sense of giddy anticipation whenever he launches from deep. I get it — very few things will make me swing my fists at imaginary ninjas and squeal with glee like Novakaine banging home a clutch trey. I’ve been waiting for him to dupe an opponent into fouling him after one of his trademark pump fakes. Granted, fish-hooking the Wizards is as easy as playing “got your nose” with a dull-witted fat kid. The off-balance, fired from behind the basket two that scraped the roof after ploinking off the rim was an act of pure Wonka-esque, fizzy-lifting drink-y whimsy.
|J.R. Smith, SG 30 MIN | 9-15 FG | 1-1 FT | 3 REB | 6 AST | 23 PTS | +23
You know all of those ugly bricks that Earl threw up in Chicago and through the first three quarters in Milwaukee? Well, tonight, they all went in. Solid defense and some swell passes all added to the frothy mix of goodness, even if the opponent was (you know the words) crappy. That’s all fine and dandy and if it leads to a week-long hot streak, cran-tastic. Otherwise, I’d prefer he hoarded all of those fadeaway twenty footers for a Miami and Boston.
|Toney Douglas, PG 9 MIN | 1-4 FG | 0-0 FT | 0 REB | 3 AST | 3 PTS | +1
|Josh Harrellson, F 13 MIN | 1-4 FG | 0-0 FT | 2 REB | 2 AST | 2 PTS | +8
ince there really isn’t much to say about Jorts’ performance tonight for good or for ill, here’s something profoundly disturbing — Now that he’s shaved his head, he’s starting to bear a creepy resemblance to a late-period Travolta
The horror…the horror!
Four Things We Saw
- Here’s how bad it got. John Wall rattled home a highlight alley-oop dunk on Baron Davis’ punim with 7:03 left in the 3rd quarter. You could make passionate, tender love to the woman of your dreams, enjoy a cigarette with said dream-woman and even figure out a wholly plausible excuse to leave her bedroom in the time it took before Shelvin Mack next finished a layup for Washington with 6:41 left in the 4th . 12 minutes without a basket. For reals. That’s just…well…the Washington Generals would’ve made a more formidable foe.
- That said, the Knicks did play decent defense and did a good job of putting the clamps on John Wall, limiting his one-man fast break opportunities and forcing him into the outside shots that are clearly not his forte. This year’s Knick model has let more than their share of lesser lights hang around in games, let alone the ghastly collapse in Indianapolis. So it was nice to see them put Washington away early. It wasn’t much fun to watch, mind you. It was like witnessing Animal Control hauling a cancerous, mangy, blind, ungainly, rabid dog out back and shooting it. Speaking of which, here’s Clyde with some cute dogs that were shlepped to MSG because the Southern Illinois mascot is the “Salukis” which evidently is a breed of dog and…yeah, I don’t really get it either. Still, cute!
- For those who didn’t watch the MSG broadcast, at one point in the fourth, the MSG crowd started chanting, “For-ty Se-ven,” mocking the number the Conjurers were stuck on for a seeming eternity. Mean. Just mean. I get that one might be peeved at shelling out 100 smackers or so, expecting to witness an actual NBA matchup and instead being treated to a glorified scrimmage/public evisceration. Still, ow.
- On a much brighter note, tonight, the Sixers lost to the Prokorovs, the Old Towne Hoops Team was felled by the right proper Canadians and the Van Gundys sans Howard dropped another one to the Dirrrty South. Yay! The ‘Bockers are now tied for 7th place in the Eastern Conference and movin’ up. Miami on Sunday and Boston on Tuesday await, so the time has come to put away childish, Wizardly things. Onward and upward!