Statistical Analysis. Humor. Knicks.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

PRESEASON RECAP: Knicks 98, Celtics 95

New York Knicks 98 Final
Recap | Box Score
95 Boston Celtics
Kurt Thomas, F 12 MIN | 1-4 FG | 0-0 FT | 4 REB | 0 AST | 2 PTS | -1

It’s so pleasant to have good ol’ Crazy Eyes back in the fold. He’s so old school, he set a pick on James Baldwin that was so hard (Say it with me…”How hard was it?” ) it delayed the release of The Fire Next Time by a week and a half. #NOLAYUPS

Carmelo Anthony, F 24 MIN | 7-16 FG | 8-9 FT | 4 REB | 1 AST | 23 PTS | +7

Some very nice Melo things from Melo — including a predilection for driving tin-ward rather than settling for mid-range jumpers and finding open shooters (for lack of a better term) when double/triple-teamed. That said, during the 3rd, when he was getting molested so thoroughly by Paul Pierce with nary a whistle that Todd Akin thought Melo might be with child, he stopped to kvetch with the arbiters, allowing the rest of the Bostonians to storm downcourt for an easy transition finish. After a timeout and a technical on our noble cager, the Knicks were pushing the tempo and Kidd was bellowing for Anthony to reverse the ball. Melo, though, was far more intent on posting up Rajon Rondo to exact some measure of revenge/satisfaction for the non-call, leading to a whack across the wrists and an ice bag as he spent the rest of the game on the bench. It’s not a yooooooge deal, as Francesa might say, but if all the off-season talk about “Not caring about leading the team in scoring/being a leader” is for real and not just the usual cliches/pabulum, this is EXACTLY the kind of ish he’s got to remove from his repertoire. Am I nit-picking? Am I holding Melo to a higher standard? Are these questions rhetorical?

Tyson Chandler, C 26 MIN | 6-8 FG | 4-6 FT | 7 REB | 0 AST | 16 PTS | +5

Tyson Smash. Tyson quarterback the defense like an in-his-prime Ray Lewis. I love you Tyson. I’ve missed watching Tyson be Tyson. TYSON!

James White, G 25 MIN | 1-7 FG | 2-2 FT | 7 REB | 0 AST | 4 PTS | +4

James White can run and jump. He’s also long. And a decent swingman defender. That is all.

Raymond Felton, G 22 MIN | 2-8 FG | 3-4 FT | 6 REB | 7 AST | 7 PTS | +1

This may be wish-fulfillment, but I could’ve sworn I heard Clyde say, “Felton be svelte-on.” tonight. Even if I’m having paracusias, Ray-Ray looks both quick and fast, scampering into the lane and either finding cutters or pulling the ball back out and resetting. His wounded duck-like runners/floaters are wince-inducing but he’s already figured out that you can throw the ball anywhere within the same area code as Tyson Chandler when the latter is near the hoop and good things will happen. Fairly or not, he’s going to be compared to Jeremy Lin all season. As someone who’s got photos of and a few locks of hair from Jeremy plastered to my hope chest, I’ve been impressed so far.

Steve Novak, F 38 MIN | 4-11 FG | 0-0 FT | 7 REB | 0 AST | 9 PTS | +1

Novak was uncharacteristically bricking his discounted triple-checks (Does that make them “Regular Price Triple Checks?” I’ll show myself out…) but unleashed a series of swell jukes and fakes off the dribble {gasp!) and played some serviceable defense against burlier foes.

Mychel Thompson, F 20 MIN | 2-7 FG | 0-0 FT | 6 REB | 2 AST | 4 PTS | -1

The Knicks shooting guard position is currently…not good. Ronnie and Shump, please take your vitamins and maybe make a trip to Lourdes or something since I don’t trust Roget Hinds to administer a flu shot, let alone care for a debilitating leg injury.

Chris Copeland, F 19 MIN | 6-11 FG | 9-13 FT | 4 REB | 0 AST | 21 PTS | +8

By Knickerblogger decree, October 14th shall heretofore be known as “Chris Copeland Day”. A few economy-sized caveats: Tonight’s Copesanity™ came against the Maine Red Claws, a better pick and roll defender than Jared Sullinger would have halted his 2nd half scoring binge, and he crashes down the lane with the grace of a Renaldo Balkman if Humpty got really depressed, holed up for a week with some high-grade kush and did nothing but try to eat his feelings. But for a player who’d remained relatively anonymous throughout the summer league and the first game, you saw what Herr Grünwald might have seen in him. And if Young Master Chris does secure a roster spot? He owes Prig a really, RILLY nice gift basket. Like the kind with fancy cheeses and scented soaps and everything. To top it all off, with the game on the line, he did THIS. Chris wins today! Yay!

John Shurna, F 8 MIN | 0-2 FG | 0-0 FT | 0 REB | 0 AST | 0 PTS | -4

I like John Shurna and his “Dear god get this rabid marmot away from me before he scratches my face to ribbons” shooting form, but he’s going to have to be better at basketball if he wants to stick around when the calendar hits November.

Henry Sims, C 8 MIN | 1-3 FG | 0-0 FT | 0 REB | 1 AST | 2 PTS | -10

Henry Sims doesn’t look like he’s really 6’11”

Pablo Prigioni, G 29 MIN | 1-6 FG | 1-2 FT | 2 REB | 5 AST | 3 PTS | -2

¡Pablocura! I don’t know if y’all were on the Twitter during tonight’s tilt, but if you were *and if you, like me, really were, I have to ask, “Don’t you have anything better to do on a Saturday night than hang w/yer tweet-bros and watch a preseason game?” Don’t worry, I’ve written a post-it note to remind me to ask myself that same question as soon as I finish typing this here recappitude.”) there were a flurry of tweets from the Knick literati suggesting not only that Prig is a better backup than Kidd (I concur) but that he deserves to start over the newly-ectomorphic Felton. Yeah, that’s going to far. He’s a very good pick and roll point guard who would have been dynamite during the reign of King Pringles. It’s going to be verrrrry interesting to see how he might do with a finisher of Amar’e’s caliber against real NBA rotation players. And if this whole basketball thing doesn’t work out, he’s definitely got a career as a professional Doug Christie impersonator.

Jason Kidd, G 34 MIN | 2-7 FG | 2-2 FT | 5 REB | 2 AST | 7 PTS | +7

Goddam kids…running around…forcing overtime…making me defend shooting guards. When I was a boy, we…who…what? I’m not doing it again. I’m just saying…Don’t you talk down to me! Respect for elders is…what’s that? I can’t hear you. Just talk for Pete’s sake like a normal person! MENTORING! VETERAN LEADERSHIP, I TELL’S YA! Buncha punks…

MILLER’S ANALOGY: Knicks iz oldz jokes are to the 2012-13 Knicks as “Undead Bibby” jokes are to the 2011-12 Knicks. So buckle up!

Five Things We Saw

  1. IT’S ONLY PRESEASON BUT….I already loathe Jason Terry. Is there a reputable gambling establishment where I can wager that he’s going to hit a killer three that puts a regular season game out of reach causing me to screech, “WHY ARE YOU LEAVING JASON TERRY WIDE OPEN TO DOUBLE RAJON RONDO WHEN HE’S CAREENING INTO TRAFFIC IN THE LANE!” It’s going to happen, folks. Might as well emotionally prepare yourselves for it now. This Boston team is gonna be good. Like they always are. Fuckers.
  2. IT’S ONLY PRESEASON BUT….I remain confused as to what this team’s offensive “identity” might be. It looked like they were developing a motion half-court offense featuring back screens to free up mid-range shots — think Larry Brown’s mid-2000’s Pistons teams — in the first game, whereas tonight they went very ISO-Melo heavy in the first half and straight D’Antoni — spread the floor and run high pick and roll — throughout the 4th quarter and overtime. There’s been chatter that Son of Wood wants to keep some aspect of 7SOL while incorporating his own style. Needless to say, this multi-ingredient soup is still a work in progress.
  3. IT’S ONLY PRESEASON BUT….On defense, we also heard some grumbling post game one out of the deep crevasses of the dense forest that is Coach’s goatee (which may collapse upon itself like a dying star at any moment) regarding the ‘Bockers and their failure to clamp down on the pick and roll. Tonight, the answer was switching on every. Goshdarned. Pick. I personally am deeply ideologically opposed to this, and without Tyson on the court, it failed pretty miserably, leading to a cavalcade of free throw attempts by the green-clad scalawags. Like the O, to be continued…
  4. IT’S ONLY PRESEASON BUT….I am sorely displeased with the insertion of Wally Szczerbiak and the canning of Kelly Tripucka from the post-game show. First of all, Wally Szczerbiak looks like he’s wearing a rubber Wally Szczerbiak mask on top of his regular face. Second, Wally, unless you have something important to say, please say nothing. Excitedly repeating whatever Hahn/Pidto said does not count as “analysis”. Third, I just don’t like Wally Szczerbiak. Fourth, I think I should get some credit for correctly spelling “Szczerbiak” without looking it up on Google. End of rant.
  5. IT’S ONLY PRESEASON BUT….I’ve really missed basketball. Especially since the summer was a seeming non-stop ticker of possible free agency signings and non-signings and rumors and debunked rumors and somehow the fracking Lakers still ended up getting everyone anyway. Seems like I’m not the only one, for a preseason game, both teams were downright AMPED. Peep this GIF of the Knick bench {while watching to see if Sullinger’s [Oh, and Clyde said Jared looked like he was "carrying extra tonnage around the hips and the derriere. You're the best, Clyde.] game-tying free throw would go in}

    That pretty much sums it up. Thanks to Jonah Kaner of The Knicks Wall for all the nifty GIF’s.

    BASKETBALL!

5 comments on “PRESEASON RECAP: Knicks 98, Celtics 95

  1. BigBlueAL

    I hate Nick Swisher as much as I hate Eddy Curry. Knicks regular season cant start soon enough.

    Also Derek Jeter :-(

  2. llcoolbp

    I have a friend who is 42 and a dead ringer for Jason Kidd. He’s even bald. He tore his acl a couple of years ago and 6 months later was playing full court pickup games at the YMCA like nothing happened. I hobble around on my arthritic knees (I’m 37), and he’s still going strong. That’s Jason Kidd. He’s a gym rat.

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