Thuh Nicks lost agenst the Indyana Paysirs tonite. Thuh final score was 93-83 but it rilly wazn’t that close becawse thuh Paycers were a lot better than the Nicks wer at basketball tonite so the Nicks lost.
Thuh Paycers now lead the serious 3 games to only 1 game for thuh Nicks. That means that if the Nicks ar gonna play in the next serious they have to win three strate games which is rilly hard to do becuawse rite now they are not good at basketball and thuh Paysirs are rilly good. But Nicks fans have hope because this is Nu Yawk and we have heart and leadership and vetrans who know how to win basketball games espeshully in the playoffs which iz where it is most important to win if yr gonna be count tha RINNNNNNGGGGZZZZZ.
So heres what happnd if you didntwatch the game but wanna kno what happened in the game beetween thuh Nicks and the Paysirs. B4 it started we wer rilly worried cause Shump got hurt on Satirday or mebbe SUnday when he hurt himself fallin down. So then his nee waz sore and he sed hed play but today the doctors who did thu surgry came and checkd his nee and sed he could play so that waz gud.
Then Woodsn cause he is grate coch changed the lineup. Kmart wld start which was suprGENIUOUS. Thu paysirs are a big teem so thu onliest way to beet a big team is to be just as big as they is. Like that NBA commershul sez GO BIG OR GO HOME. So thats true cause you cant make an ad on teevee and have it not be trooo or else its ilegle. I remember that from skool or i read it somwear. So That scrub Prig – I cant spell his name rite. Whatevs hes a scrub forener anyway got to sit his skinyy ass back on the bench wher it belongs) KMARt is a veteren. He knows how to win big games and defend another foward who is big like David west. Melo dozent haven to play smalforward. He was an allstar sMall forward for years so putting him back at his natchural pasishun is a move that was long overdoo according to me.
They startd ok and wer only doun by sevn at the end of the frist qarter. The big line up was getting some rebowns for the beginning of the qarter and tha spacing was not so gud wich was bad for melo but the Picers were turning the ball over a lot beecause the defense was so good because Marten is good at defense and he was starting so SEE. GEENYUS MOVE BY WOOD SON WORKED. but by the end the Paycers like Hibrt got some witch gave Hill and Stevenson open threes wich was not so good. Then they brawt in Kid. Kid is a hall of famer. Everyone nows that. He is a true champeeon and the kind of player who haz been so gud for the Niks this year so of course you play him. He didnt hit shots in the secund qurter when he came in. JR missed his shots but he needs to shoot his way out of the slump that he is in rite now. Regge Miller said so on TV while I was waching and even tho I hate that basterd reggie miller he is a grate player and a guy that KILLED the Kniks so you know he nows about shooting and slumps and wat you have to do to get out of them same for Kidd who is also in a slump and has not scored in the last six or seven games but if yoo do not like Jason Kid or think he shld not play you are a hater. Haters are gonna hate on grate players so dont be one. Yeah wen Kid came into the game at the end of the first quter the pacrs went on a 9-two run but you are a haterz.
Then the end of the 2 quarter was also bad and the Paceers were up by 14 at the half. the knick wer trapping a lot witch mite have bin part of the problem with getting opens shots for paicers but lots of turnovers so good. Oh Shump sat on the bench cause mebbe he was hurt again he had an ice pack like stat they were like brothers in ice! Yeah thats not so good. Forget that part
Okay, so then it was the secund half and they were still lozing by a lot. I wasnt paying attention cause I was real mad at the Indiyanans. Peepl from Iniyana are like so stoopid. They live in corn. And those big things they put tha corn in – what ar they called. Silows. Rite. Silows look like dicks! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. And larry bird so what. And that moovy Hoozyers. Like thats not real stuff that happeneded. They say they are the home of basktball but how can you pley basktball with corn and dick things with corn in them alla ova the place. That makes no sens, amirte?
An that Donny Walsh. Hes a total traytor for goin back to Indiyana cause he couldent cut it in noo york. Noo YORK is basketballs reel home. Everybody nows that who knows basktball like me ys truly yo. You all no I no baksetball frum reeding this site.
Anyway I was hatng indiana caus of the sines that said Hix beet Knikcs. That made me so mad that I startd to drink a lot. Not caus the knisk are losing but cause other reasons that Im not gonna talk about rite now its not yor bizness so but then my girl showed up and she wuz like WHY YOU SCREAMING AT THE TEEEVEEEE. AND I’M LIKE SHUT UP BECAUSE THE KNICKS IS LOSING. AND SHE WAZ ALL AW BABY. BUT SHES MY GIRL SO WERE OKAY NOW AND mabe we r gonna get a burrito from this place near me called Castros which is a weerd name for a messican restarant cause castro was Cuban I think and its not a Cuban restrant but like I cud tell the diffrens Imma pretty drunk now on whatever that chalky white stuf was I drank.
But Nix losing. Then they put copelind in the game. (But still no prigs for Kidd because that forener sux which is anothr smar thing by hed cotche Mike woodsin. Hes the best coche the nixks have evr had since I dunno that vangundi guy. he was good ecksept he always drank diet cok like a little gurl or sumthin and rilee was good to ecksept he is a traitor so I cant say hes good so ferget that part.
But then Copelind played and he hit a three. Now anudder gud moobe by coche woodsen. He took copelend out. Because since he made a shot what are the odds that heel make more? Thats good strategery! Besides Copelund is a rooky and everybuddy knos rookys dont suckseed in the playoffs when you need vetrans to win. Plus is Beljum even a real country. I don think so.
So it was SMART by Woodsin to pull Kope the rooky after he suckseeded becaws it wuld nnot have lasted. Thats using advansed statisticks to make the teem better and win more. Okay it didnt work and the lede was never less than a lot I forget because I got so mad at the teevee that I punched the skreen and my girl didnet bring the vodka like I asked but we goonnnnna get britos so its ok. She is my and girl. She sweet. You talking shit about her. I punch yoo soo hard in yore dum as face like Tylr Hansbro. Hes got a dum face rite? haha
So they lost the end but that’s not theyre fawlt because this team has vetrans and champyons whove been theyre before and they know how to win and so THREE IN A ROW NOW COMEBACK TIME I BET YOU THIS IS SO GONNA HAPPEN. Oh yeah. Heres what some guys did.
- Melo wasnt good. Sometimes yes but then he missed shots. They wer hard shots cause PaulGeorge (two first names = dum. Yoor rich so wy cant he afford a last name) defended good and wen he trieyed to drive there was Hibert
- Chanler had som good momnts but he made some foulz but he lookd beter than thu last game and the game b4 when he wasnot good. S
- Dogs are so cute. I alwayz put videeyos of dogs on twitr and faysbook of cut dogs wen their waring hats or with cats sometime because that so cute.
- JR missed a buch of shots again but he gave the Paycers the pipe tho, amirite? Or maybe Hibert gave the pipe to him becawse Hibert played so gud and blocked shots so now JR is haven secks with Hiburt. Get it! Thats funny but srsly tho he was not good. Mebbe hes not sick no more and he hit his last shot so thats like a good sine for thuh next game which is very important for the Nicks to win or else they have to go home but wate till next yr. Nicks r gonna be CHAMMMMMMPSSS.
- Feltun was prity good he got to thu rim and Hibert stopped him a bunch but he mayde some shots
- Shump was hurt so its not his falt
- Do not drink stuf you find under the kitchin cabinat that has wwarnings that say don drink this if you are wateing for yore gurl to bring vodka an she dont bring it but wile yoo ar wateing yu ar mad at tha Pacres and Indeanna so you drink it and puntch tevees that make yore hands bleed. I feel reel sick now but I got good buz so yolo. If you dont kno yolo meens yoo only live yo. And that meens do it cause rock and roll0 GET IT HAHAAHAAH. I cant feels my fayce now. Ow my hans
- Prigs and Copland are scrubs
- Novak is also scrub
- Marten was sorta okay I cant tell.
- Look i mayde bullit points thats kewl.
- Kidd is a vetran.
- Geroge Hill was reel good for INdana cause I dunno he was good before now kinda I guess. He hit hard shots. And Hibrt was good ecksept when he had fowl truble that’s when I thot the nicks were gonna come back but they dinnt I shood have sed that b4. That was there big chance excepr and kid was in the game tooo!
(Whacks self on the back of the head with a cricket bat)
Ow…Sorry for that extended reverse Flowers for Algernon segment. But I was trying to replicate the abject stupidity of tonight’s starting lineup, rotation, and everything and everything by the Knicks erstwhile coach, if one can still use such a word in the general vicinity of his presence without breaking into fits of tear-drenched laughter.
And you don’t need to have a Phi Beta Kappa key dangling around your neck to suss out what went wrong. They (once again) got away from what has been proven to work all season and Prigs and Cope didn’t play, despite mountains of empirical evidence that said that’s exactly who should’ve been logging major minutes. What either of them has done to get locked in Labrynthine maze that is Mike’s doghouse we may never know. Maybe David Bowie can rescue them. Despite the countless missed open looks and continued sub-par performances from Melo, J.R. and every ‘Bocker they’ve counted on for buckets this year, this loss can directly be pinned to Woodson’s infinitely dense goatee/stubbornness and/or willful blindness. It was dumb. Tragically dumb. Colossally dumb. Painfully dumb. Head-to-the-desk/concussively dumb.
It’s moments like these that make me question the utter folly of choosing to invest emotionally in a team—especially one as congenitally thick-headed as this one. I’m not even mad at this point. I’m numbly, dumbly sad. Why don’t you GIF it for us, former star of Firefly and Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, super-dreamy Nathan Fillion.
Our inevitable doom is nigh. And the thing that’s the most galling, that makes me want to strip my clothes off, drink a gallon of Pepto-Bismol and run screaming out into the middle of the BQE, projectile vomiting horrible pink geysers in cosine-shaped arcs (Okay, maybe I am still a little bit angry) is that tonight, a great deal of the team’s demise was self-inflicted, like getting out of a showdown at the OK Corral by purposely, idiotically shooting your big toe off. The Pacers are a good, smart team that has a clear identity. To win, the Knicks would need to be playing the right way AND at or near the peak of their powers. Right now, neither of those things are happening. Sigh.
On to perhaps the last game of the season. For all my ranting, I’ll be there, and I’m sure so will all of you. Go Knicks.