Statistical Analysis. Humor. Knicks.

Saturday, December 20, 2014

#OccupyBallStreet

Declaration of the Occupation of New York City obscure NBA blogs. And Twitter. Because we want basketball.

As we gather together in solidarity angry boredom to express a feeling of mass injustice minor inconvenience, we must not lose sight of what brought us together. We write so that all people basketball fanz who feel wronged by the corporate forces of the world NBA can know that we are your allies.

As one people gaggle of bloggers, united, we acknowledge the reality: that the future of the human race professional basketball requires works better with the cooperation of its members; that our system the NBA must protect our rights dunkz, and upon corruption of that system, it is up to the individuals bloggers to protect their own rights inane, borderline sociopathic obsession and those of their neighbors; that a democratic government professional basketball derives its just power from the people, but corporations David Stern does not seek consent to extract wealth dunkz from the people andthe Earth fanosphere; and that no true democracy NBA is attainable when the process is determined by economic power.

We come to you at a time when corporations owners, who place profit over people, self-interest over justice tomahawk dunkz, and oppression over equality NBA League Pass, run our governments sports. We have peaceably assembled here, as is our right, to let these facts be known:

They have taken our houses Kobe through an illegal foreclosure a totally legal but still totally dickish process, despite not having theoriginal mortgage opening their accounting books.

They have taken bailouts from taxpayers lots of ticket money from fans with impunity, and continue to give Executives Travis Outlaw and Eddy Curry exorbitant bonuses salaries.

They have perpetuated inequality and discrimination in the workplace based on age, the color of one’s skin, sex, gender identity and sexual orientation Donald Sterling and James Dolan.

They have poisoned the food supply through negligence neon cheese and various forms of edible cardboard and undermined the farming system beer selection through monopolization promoting Budweiser.

They have profited off of the torture, confinement, and cruel treatment of countless animals foam fingers and $10 beers, and actively hide celebrate these practices.

They have continuously sought to strip employees of the right to negotiate for better pay and safer working conditions been dicks.

They have held students fans hostage with tens of thousands of dollars of debt on education absurd ticket prices, which is itself a human right totally uncool.

They have consistently outsourced labor and used that outsourcing as leverage to cut workers’ healthcare and pay make Euro-flopping and bad haircuts acceptable basketball protocol.

They have influenced the courts refs to achieve the same rights as people give superstars every call, with none of the culpability or responsibility.

They have spent millions of dollars on legal teams that look for ways to get them out of contracts in regards to health insurance deprive me of a Christmas triple-header.

They have sold our privacy as a commodity given the Maloof brothers a professional sports franchise.

They have used the military and police force to prevent freedom of the press fostered a league of stars to the detriment of teams.

They have deliberately declined to recall faulty products call illegal picks endangering lives a Knicks win in pursuit of profit a Celtics win.

They determine economic technical foul policy, despite the catastrophic failures Stephen Jackson ejections their policies have produced and continue to produce.

They have donated paid large sums of money to politicians David Stern who are responsible for regulating them is one smug $#%&%$!@*.

They continue to block alternate forms of energy defense to keep us dependent on oil free throws.

They continue to block generic forms of medicine that could save people’s lives or provide relief in order to protect investments that have already turned a substantial profit prevent me from smoking in stadiums.

They have purposely covered up oil spills, accidents their books and inactive ingredients Tim Donaghy in pursuit of profit.

They purposefully keep people misinformed and fearful through their control of the media purposefully keep people misinformed and fearful through their control of the media.

They have accepted private given terrible contracts to murder prisoners even marginal players when presented with serious doubts about their guilt statistics.

They have perpetuated colonialism at home and abroad TV timeouts.

They have participated in the torture and murder of innocent civilians overseas Cavs fans.

They continue to create weapons of mass destruction NBA Cares commercials in order to receive government contracts  our sympathy.

To the people of the world fans of the NBA:

We, the New York City General Assembly totally bored bloggers and basketball writers occupying Wall “Ball Street” in Liberty Square on the internet or something, urge you to assert your power iPads and Twitter accounts.

Exercise your right to peaceably assemble; occupy public space fold-out lawn chairs in your living room; create a process to address the problems we face bitch and moan and smoke cigarettes, and generate solutions accessible to everyone screeds that neither the league nor the union will ever read.

To all communities that take action and form groups in the spirit of direct democracy dunkz, we offer support, documentation, and all of the resources at our disposal a toast or something.

Join us and make your voices heard End the lockout, before we start watching hockey.

 

4 comments on “#OccupyBallStreet

  1. dsi

    Funny, but – at its core – an insightful commentary on the state of the NBA, and the country at large. I don’t remember much from my college economics classes (damn that bong), but do seem to recall that…

    (a) it takes capital AND labor to create a product, and

    (b) while labor is rewarded for it’s …well, labor… capital is rewarded for taking risk. The owners (bankers, corporate goons) want to “fix the system” so they can be rewarded without any risk.

    I, for one, hope to see some ball this year. But if I don’t, I’m placing the blame squarely on the shoulders of the owners. Hell, the players offered up 4% of BRI right out of the gate. And the owners have given up….what?

    The players should start an off-season exhibition league. Build up an infrastructure over the next couple of years. And then, the next time the union needs to negotiate with the suited pr*^ks, they’ll have some real power. And, hopefully, they’ll treat the goons with the respect and fairness that the players have NOT been treated with this go-round.

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