Statistical Analysis. Humor. Knicks.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

My Game 4 Predictions

Here are my predictions for tonight’s game:

* Shump Doesn’t Play
Basically the Knicks always under-report their injuries. So when they say they’re flying in an orthopedic surgeon to check out Shumpert’s knee, they mean his leg has been cut off at the femur, and they’re hoping the bleeding will stop by halftime.

* The Nix Rebound Better
Maybe Tyson can’t physically do it, but I’d be surprised if Woody lets this slide. New York out-glassed the Pacers in game 2, and in that game no single ‘Bocker had double digits. This requires a team effort, and I see them doing better than they did in games 1 and 3.

* Jason Kidd Hits A Shot
Sure he’s done, toast, worthless, the undead. But he’s hitting one tonight. Maybe Coach barking at him in practice to rebound takes Kidd back to 200-something and the old dog pulls a “The Natural”. Not that he throws the ball over the backboard igniting the court in a stream of fireworks, but that an old washed up geezer can still have a good game. Remember I’m actually predicting this, and you read it here first.

* JR Smith Hits More Than 4 Shots
No way he’s pulling another 4-15, 3-15, or 4-12. Wait that’s what he’s shot in the first 3 games? Damn I’m toast on this one. Oh well I wrote this in ink, so there’s no backing down.

* Chris Copeland Does Nothing
I would love nothing more for him to be the answer, but I think my reasons are best revealed in meme form.

* Amar’e Stoudemire Punches Tyler Hansbrough
Last year it was the glass case. This year it’s Psycho-T. I think they’ll hook up in the early 2nd quarter, setting the tone for the game. I’m most confident of this prediction.

* Carmelo Anthony Drops 40
Crazy? Like a fox! Maybe the whole “Tyson Chandler says the Knicks need to share the ball” is a big rouse to let ‘Melo go ape-sheet. The Pacers spend the last few days game planning on stopping everyone else, and the Knicks run 40 straight-iso plays to numero siete. Woodson you potato headed genius!

* Knicks Win!
They have no chance in hell. Tyson Chandler can’t rebound or defend anymore. J.R. Smith’s pipe has taken over, and he can’t stop taking orders from Admiral Winky long enough to remember he’s playing for his next contract. Iman Shumpert – hurt, status unknown. Jason Kidd – suffering from ptsd. Steve Novak – missing in action, presumed dead. As for the depth? Marcus Camby is essentially a cardboard cut out you can put under the net. Chris Copeland isn’t saving this team. Earl Barron anyone? There’s no logical reason to think this team can win tonight.

But that’s when the boys seem to pull it together the most.

Against Miami they’d have no chance, but the Pacers are hardly the Heat. Roy Hibbert shot 3-7 (6 pts) twice in this series before having one good (offensive) game. He’s not coming out for 24 again in this series. Indiana can defend, but they really don’t have a consistent offense. Other than Paul George, who is there to be scared of? David West? George Hill? Lance Stephenson? Let’s be real now. Knicks by 6.

This is what you’re afraid of?

7 comments on “My Game 4 Predictions

  1. ephus

    Starting with the most important prediction, I join in the prediction that KNICKS WIN!

    I think Shumpert dresses, but I have no idea if he plays.

    Knicks rebounding better is all about Chandler getting his butt into Hibbert and blocking out. The downside is that Chandler is not going to be available to threaten Pacers who break down the Knicks backcourt and head toward the rim.

    If Shumpert does not play, I think Kidd hits a shot. If Shumpert plays, I doubt it.

    I still believe in JR Smith. There is nothing that JR Smith cannot do on a basketball court. I would not be surprised to see him do a Steve Novak impression and just line up for assisted 3s.

    I am still getting the fishhook out of my mouth on the Copeland link. Slow clap.

    I think Amar’e plays productive minutes tonight. If the game is rock-paper-scissor, then Hibbert/West have been paper covering Chandler and Kidd as rocks. But Amar’e is a driving, slicing, dicing scissor. He should be able to get Hibbert/West into foul trouble.

    I hope that after tonight I can post “7 = 30″. It would be a great time for ‘Melo to make like Bernard.

    Two additional predictions

    The Knicks will force the tempo of this game. A tired Hibbert is a foul-prone Hibbert. He is just too big to run hard for more than 30 minutes per game.

    Zone defense comes back – Zone was really effective in the first half. In the second half, Pacers used interior pacing to lead to West dunks over smaller guys. I expect an aggressive Syracuse-style zone (only 1/2/2 instead of 2/3 because of the defensive 3 second rule) that tries to get steals, not just passive zone.

  2. Hubert Davis

    I’m sticking with my “I do a shot when Kidd hits a shot” plan. Come on, Ason. Get me drunk tonight.

  3. Hubert Davis

    My only prediction is Shumpert plays, has a great game, and we all wonder what the fuss was about.

  4. johnlocke

    I like the predictions, except I think the likelihood that Copeland scores 15+ points is greater than the likelihood that Ason Kidd actually makes a shot. Oh and Melo ain’t scoring 40, if he scores 30 on 45% shooting or better I’d be happy. Oh and Knicks win, the Knicks win!!

  5. Spree8nyk8

    The Knicks win and humans as a species continue to react to each singular game as if it were a 7 game series of it’s own.

  6. maxwell_3g

    let me throw a few predictions out there:
    1) Hibbert is plagued by foul trouble all night and is limited to 22 or fewer minutes, on at least one very questionable call where melo jumps into him and one questionable over the back call. we will call it justice, indiana will call it a David Stern conspiracy
    2) Kidd hits 2 3′s in the first half
    3) Cope get in the game in the first half, but stays relatively quiet
    4) Melo goes for 35, and his eyes open really wide when hansborough is on him
    5) Lance stevenson becomes the proverbial fly in the oitment at sme point tonight when he start to inexplicably hit a few 3′s
    6) Knicks win!!!!

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