Statistical Analysis. Humor. Knicks.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Lazy Summer Reaction: Grizzlies 93, Knicks 77

Memphis Grizzles 93 Final
Recap | Box Score
77 New York Knicks
James White, SF Well, James White certainly is an athlete. We got to see one example of his supreme-go-super-flight-kaboom explosiveness, but that imp of the perverse, Josh Selby (who Spiro Dedes repeatedly referred to as, “Shelby.”) grabbed his arm before more Youtube-ish highlights could ensue. He made more than a few nifty passes off dribble penetration, finishing with seven dimes (Sorry gents, boxscores are hard to find for SL games For the numerically inclined amongst us, the box score can be found here [h/t Big Blue Al]. I’m not going to alphabetically judge these cats because, heck, it’s summer school. No one cares as long as you pass.). Clyde was busting his chops at the end for being winded/not demanding the ball in, “crunch time.” Glad to see Clyde’s using the summer to get ready for ISO-Melo as well.
Chris Copeland, PF I’m not entirely sure what to make of this newb. He’s an effort player who battles for everything, definitely undersized to play power forward full-time, hit a couple of long-range shots but the overall impression is of wasted energy in service of nothing in particular — think a smaller, less lengthy Jordan Hill or a longer, far less interesting Renaldo Balkman, if that helps.

Oh. One more thing. Copeland’s dreads give him a kind of Britney Griner-ish sheen. I really, REALLY hope that Grunwald is pulling a Juwanna Mann. That would absolutely tickle me chartreuse.

Artsiom Parakhouski, C Artsion is big. Artsiom’s size makes it hard for Artsiom to jump. Artsiom has a standard-brand Euro big’s dossier of crafy moves at the rim but doinked some of them because of the aforementioned problems with the Earth’s gravitational pull. Artsiom always tries hard and is popular with his classmates. Artsiom has to stop throwing things at Alisa Malinovich during 7th grade social studies. It’s not going to work and Artsiom has to realize she’s going to end up dating Dan Gabay anyway because he has made out with every single girl in class whose breasts developed early.
Walker Russell Jr., PG I actually had really high hopes for Walker, son of Walker and relative of former Knick Campy. He’s been on more than a few ‘Bocker Summer League squads way back when and had a nice stint with the Pistons (yes, in the actual NBA) last year. Alas, he looked royally out of control, forced awkward runners in the lane really struggled against Memphis when they pressured him in the backcourt, and coughed up some ungodly, unforced turnovers leading to an early 20+ point deficit. He looked like he was trying to impress someone, but as is oft the case, ended up doing more harm than good. Sad face. I like Walker Russell Jr.
Jeremiah Rivers, SG Doc’s other progeny started off pretty wonky, bricking a gaggle of ill-advised 20-footers (Wait, maybe he’s the perfect Knick shooting guard), but contributed to the Knicks’ 2nd half “run” (as it were) with some nice plays in transition and far better defense on Tony Wroten/”Shelby” than he’d previously demonstrated. And yes, by, “previously,” I mean at around 4:22pm.
Mustapha Farrakhan, G Another invitee whose fame thus far is limited to his more-famous relation (There are more coming. Knick nepotism fever, catch it!) He’s an elusive, undersized guard without enough of a jumper or floor general-y skills to make it in the NBA.
Wesley Witherspoon, F A long-ish tweener. He was on the floor when the Knicks whittled the lead down to 7, and evidently led the team in scoring but otherwise failed to leave much of an impression on your humble correspondent, who, granted, was having a hard time telling players apart for long stretches. Then again, with regards to Double-W, every time his name came up I stopped following the game because I couldn’t help but think, “Will ‘Wesley Crusher’ Wheaton,” googling his awful Star Trek: TNG scenes where he’s whining/whingeing and giggling fiendishly to myself. Not to get all DSM-III, but A.D.H.D., thy name is Bob.
Chris Smith, G And the familial parade continues. Here’s J.R.’s younger brother. He’s a shorter, less athletic version of his sibling. I can only fathom the Eugene O’Neill-esque long-seething resentment that must be festering just beneath the surface of mood-altering/tempering/smoothing/benumbing substances at Smith family gatherings.
Mychel Thompson, F Gawd. Where’s Patrick Ewing Jr.? Does John Starks have any offspring? If so, someone should send them westward, post-haste. The Knicks are like La Cosa Nostra when it comes to handing out gigs for underwhelming blood relations. Anyhoo, according to Frazier/Dedes, he’s been displaying the same smooth stroke as frere-Klay. Maybe we’ll see it tomorrow.
Kyle Goldcamp, F I just wanted to mention Kyle Goldcamp because he reminded me of Marc Blucas. Best known as “Riley Finn,” the fappish love interest/leatherneck during season 4-5 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, he also had a a word-less part as a 6-foot supposed PF in the finest Knickerblocker-based cinematic magnum opus ever, Eddie. That is all. Hi Kyle!

Five Things We Saw

  1. Oddly enough, the game was eerily similar to many of the New Yorkers’ efforts from last season. At the opening tip, they played some seriously sloppy ball and jacked up awful shots mainly due to the lack of a true point guard which lead to the fellows opposing them building a more or less insurmountable lead. Then, in the second half, they started playing defense and whittled the deficit down to a manageable number, before some good-shooting wing was left wide open after dribble-penetration and banged in a momentum-killing three to end it. Remember that? Me too. I still hate it. Oh well. Yay for consistency!
  2. That said, Tony Wroten looks good. I’m sure everyone read how his jumper was “broken,” but according to these peepers, it looked absolutely nothing like the gorts Landry/Toney heaved skyward. For the 25th pick in the draft, the right proper denizens of Tennessee have to be thrilled. Shelby also looked markedly improved. Taking SL games in as low-sodium a manner possible (cough, Tskitishvili, cough), if you squinted, you could see a proto-Monta Ellis. Now stop squinting and go see an Optometrist. Glasses are super-cool now. Just ask every young NBA star under 25.
  3. On a side note, (and granted, this may be a particular obsession of mine), there have been rumblings that our hardwood heroes would be clad in new uniforms this season. No actual, concrete evidence thus far, until this appeared on the shelves of the NBA store. You’ll note that “NEW YORK” is no longer nearly as arched as in the past, the individual letters are larger, and the subway token logo has been replaced. There’s also a very fine gray trim around both the letters and the aforementioned logo. Looks like they’re ditching the black (Praise diety!) but adding another, wholly unnecessary hue to the color scheme (Stoopid diety!). It’s not entirely surprising, given the gray in the new logo center court. Save removing the black, I think the alterations to the wordmark/color scheme don’t work at all, especially considering the simplest solution would be to return to the Frazier/Ewing/”Championship” design, but poor choices by Knick management are up there in the universal certainty rankings, just below Messrs. Death n’ Taxes. But enough o’ my sartorial aesthetic yammerin’, what say you?
  4. The highiligh of the afternoon had to be the dandy courtside interview that newly fade-haircutted Shump gave where he mentioned:
    1. His major at Georgia Tech was Science, Technology and something I couldn’t make out.
    2. Food-wise, he’s a chicken/spaghetti guy or a baked potato with broccoli and cheese. Yumz!
    3. Coach Woodson should be fined for the wide-lapeled, checkerboard polo he was sporting in the stands today (I concur).
    4. Jason Kidd was his idol growing up — the first guy he ever saw dominate a game without scoring.

    I talked about this at length in my Clyde thingy, but it bears repeating: Shump is such a genuine, likeable guy. Nash-lust notwithstanding, it’s great he’s still on our side.

  5. Finally, whilst his charges foundered on the court, our fearless leader, Herr Grunwald was enacting a French door farce or “L’Hotel du libre change” in Vegas this afternoon, dodging process servers bearing Jeremy Lin’s offer sheet. I’d regale you with the tale, but friend of the blog Seth at Posting & Toasting already did a cran-tastic job depicting the borderline-surreal machinations. Readz themz here. Back at it tomorrow. This one doesn’t count! I call do-over!

61 comments on “Lazy Summer Reaction: Grizzlies 93, Knicks 77

  1. formido

    “the fappish love interest”

    I’m not normally one for nitpicking, but this typo left me a little confused at first, then chuckling.

  2. BigBlueAL

    More rumors now that the Knicks are talking with Felton. Why would they even be talking to him if they plan on matching Lin’s offer sheet??

  3. BigBlueAL

    Alex Kennedy just tweeted:

    “The Knicks are considering signing UFA Raymond Felton and letting RFA Jeremy Lin walk to the Rockets, a source close to situation confirms.”

    Pretty safe to say Grunwald is not happy with the new contract offer to Lin.

  4. Z-man

    They have nothing to offer Felton except the vet’s minimum or whatever Gadz’s contract could bring, right? Would Felton come for that little? Sounds fishy to me.

  5. BigBlueAL

    Ian Begley:

    “Raymond Felton’s agent, Tony Dutt, says that ?#Knicks? are in talks to acquire Felton. If Knicks don’t sign Lin, they could get Felton in S&T.”

    This is what I get for staying home on a Saturday night waiting around to watch a George Lopez stand-up special followed by some boxing on HBO starting at 10 pm lol

  6. theone811

    Why would we want Felton . Lin might be overpaid but he is better than Felton and now we need to get a real point again same old Knicks !!!!

  7. BigBlueAL

    Great time for the Knicks to finally be showing some semblance of financial restraints lol

    Yahoo is now reporting deal for Felton is close. Linsanity could officially be coming to a close.

  8. BigBlueAL

    Brian Cronin:
    So Felton for the vet minimum? That makes no sense. This sounds like them just giving Lin shit. Make him twist in the wind a bit.

    Sign and trade, assume for Gadzuric which would allow for Felton to get what 2 mil which is more than the minimum.

  9. theone811

    Houston got desperate and screwed us good now we have old ass Kidd and fat ass Felton

  10. Z-man

    Yeah, Felton would pretty much eliminate any hopes for a run at a championship. His upside is very limited, while Lin’s is unknown. Same is true for downside, I guess, and the luxury tax is an issue. It just seems that public relations-wise, it would be a nightmare for the Knicks not to sign Lin at this point.

  11. theone811

    Ticket prices up and I was the idiot that renewed my season tickets and the Knicks do this and the only option at this point is Felton it’s fxxxxing sad

  12. Brian Cronin

    Sign and trade, assume for Gadzuric which would allow for Felton to get what 2 mil which is more than the minimum.

    Not even $2 million. Something like $1.8 million. And why would Portland do that? If they want cap room, just let Felton go.

  13. theone811

    Kidd would have to be a genius to mentor fat ass Felton he is useless I’d rather give the 35 yr old guard from europe a shot

  14. SharKuz

    I’ve always prayed for the pain of being a Knicks fan to come to an end. This was not the way I imagined that prayer being answered. But it would definitely work.

  15. BigBlueAL

    Best part is Isola and Berman will probably be the only writers saying this is a good move by the Knicks.

  16. SharKuz

    I read on this board for an entire season without registering to join. Then the day I do…….

  17. theone811

    Knicks are pissed because Lin supposedly went back to rockets to get deal restructured maybe he doesn’t want to be here but there has to be a better backup plan than Felton

  18. JK47

    I’ll bail on the Knicks forever if they don’t bring back Lin. At some point it’s just abuse.

    Go Lakers?

  19. BigBlueAL

    Im numb to all this. Funny thing is Im already reading some writers talking about how Morey is screwed if Knicks dont match Lin contract lol

  20. BigBlueAL

    Also its confirmed the Knicks arent matching Fields so one nightmare is avoided lol

  21. BigBlueAL

    Hahn:

    “Im amazed at the almost even split between fans on the potential of letting Jeremy Lin walk. It’s hardly a majority for either side.”

    I know its not the case here but judging by Twitter Hahn is actually right it seems.

  22. SharKuz

    JK47:
    I’ll bail on the Knicks forever if they don’t bring back Lin. At some point it’s just abuse.

    Go Lakers?

    Never thought I would feel that way but it’s exactly how I feel right now.

  23. JK47

    I’ve suffered through Eddy Curry, Frederic Weis, Stephon Marbury, the Stephon Marbury/Steve Francis backcourt and so much more, and remained a fan. But this will not stand. There is no reason to root for this team if they don’t match Jeremy Lin’s offer sheet. None.

  24. alsep73

    I say this all the time, and then let myself get sucked back in, but I really do feel like letting Lin walk in favor of Felton might be the last straw in my Knicks fandom.

  25. ess-dog

    The scary thing is that Felton does seem more like a “Woodson guy”.

    At least we have Prigs waiting in the wings to blow up (shrugs.)

  26. Brian Cronin

    I say this all the time, and then let myself get sucked back in, but I really do feel like letting Lin walk in favor of Felton might be the last straw in my Knicks fandom.

    Obviously, I’m a part of the blog, so I’ll be here even if they do this but yeah, otherwise I would be right there with you.

  27. kram

    isn’t 2 mil per year insurance for felton worth bluffing houston for to save a bunch down the road? morey will be pooping in his pants, he’s overcommitted thinking it all wouldn’t happen…

  28. BigBlueAL

    I love Lin and would hate to see him go but to be this shocked and angry if he leaves, really?? I mean I see why they would let him leave due to his offer sheet. My thing is whose decision is this?? Grunwald or Dolan’s??

  29. BigBlueAL

    Hahn still says he would be shocked if Lin leaves so there is still hope Lin stays.

  30. BigBlueAL

    Brian Cronin:
    I think Morey wants this deal. It allows him to tell Dwight Howard that, hey, here’s Jeremy Lin. You get to play with him.

    Lets be honest, you really think Howard gives a shit about playing with Lin?? He probably thinks Lin is a fluke like the majority of the players most likely think to be perfectly honest.

  31. Juwanaxedqwe

    I think I’m going to be sick… Lin has hardly played a full season, at least give him a chance to prove his worth.

    This is probably the last straw for me as well with the Knicks. At least I’ll have another team to root for in the Nets with the Knicks trying so eagerly to rid itself of every element that made the last season worth watching.

  32. Brian Cronin

    Lets be honest, you really think Howard gives a shit about playing with Lin?? He probably thinks Lin is a fluke like the majority of the players most likely think to be perfectly honest.

    Oh, totally. But Houston’s position is “Come here and you will be surprised by how much you like it.” Lin is a part of that. Howard will be shocked by how much he likes playing with Lin.

  33. kram

    any cap experts?

    Marc J. Spears ?@SpearsNBAYahoo
    Rockets found loophole that would cost them $8 million on third year of Lin offer sheet and Knicks $15 million, source tells Y! Sports.

  34. SharKuz

    theone811:
    We need a plan what about foye !!!!!!

    My plan will consist of scouring NBA rosters and identifying a team I want to root for that won’t make me cry.

  35. theone811

    The rockets suxxxx take the human turnover machine and the Knicks never have a plan and what’s worst we always live and die with them

  36. Z-man

    Look, Lin is far from a sure thing. There are many unanswered questions about him. Can he last 82 games? Can he adapt now that the league has a book on him, e.g. force him left? Can he shoot better than 32% from 3? Is his knee issue totally resolved?

    It is the promise of Linsanity, the hope that at last our PG savior is here, those 10 magical games, that would devastate us if Dolan lets him go (make no mistake, this is Dolan’s call.) But it is only a promise, not a reality. This is a HUGE gamble for Dolan, or honestly, any rational businessman, a $50+ million roll of the dice on what may turn out to be a middling, injury-prone PG with serious holes in his game. Is there any concrete reason to believe that Lin will be $50 million better than Prigioni for the next 2 years?

    I will be distraught if we don’t match Lin, but by no means was I convinced that he was a sure thing.

  37. formido

    Haha. They aren’t letting Lin go. Sure, he could turn into a pumpkin, but what if he’s in the All-Star game 2 or 3 years from now, and the Knicks still have no answer at the point? That risk is too high and obviously he pays for himself in products and marketing.

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