Knicks Playoff Limericks
April 4th, 2011 by Mike Kurylo | @KnickerBlogger | Comments | Permalink |
The New York Knicks are going to make the playoffs for the first time in seven seasons. In honor of such a joyous occasion I thought I’d express myself in limerick form. Feel free to add your own Knick poetry in the comment section.
With the magic number at one,
the Knicks went on a twelve to two run,
They defeated the Cavs,
And had a few laughs,
Because the rebuilding has only begun!
Way back in two thousand and four,
the Knicks last had a playoff roar.
Marbury and Penny
Failed to win any
And Fugazi sent Thomas to the floor.
In round one, the Knicks likely will fall.
(This year there will be no title haul.)
New York wants the eyes
of the NBA’s top guys,
So they can acquire Deron, Howard, or Paul.
Mike Kurylo is the founder and editor of KnickerBlogger.net. His book on the 2012 Knicks, "We’ll Always Have Linsanity," is on sale now. Follow him on twitter (@KnickerBlogger).
This idea is lame
Mike Kurylo is certainly to blame
But the Knicks are back
get ready for the heart attack
so who cares where this bad idea came
Donnie’s a pretty smart bloke
But more cap space? Simply a joke
New CBA’ll sink ‘em
Before we can ink ‘em
And then comes poor Jon Abbey’s stroke
Should the Knicks go down in flames,
And in the playoffs not win a single game,
Certain bloggers will scream,
“The Knicks are a doomed team ,
and surely, we have Melo to blame!”
Thanks to Ice Cube’s “Once Upon a Time in the Projects”
Once upon a time as a Knicks fan, yo
I damn near had to mourn Z-Bo
A knock on the door — “Who is it?”
“It’s David Stern come to pay a little visit t’ya.
And what’s up with Isiah in the parking lot?”
I called him a sucka
cuz he liked Eddy Curry a lot.
Stern sat on the couch, but it wasn’t stable.
Then he put his loafers on the coffee table.
Marbury walked in — he’s into backseat banging.
He said to us, “Vaseline taste good, kn’am saying?”
Stern shook his head and said, “this town needs some good times.
It’s been made to feel like it’s in a rut
by a bad owner and this GM/coach/nut.”
Stern threw up a set then he was gone.
I’m thinking to myself, where did all this go wrong.
Then Walsh came in with a joint in his mouth,
and fixed shit up so that things were no longer headed south
Then there was that Anthony trade;
I suppose Dolan just wanted to get himself paid.
But maybe hey it’s possible you never know
Maybe Walsh was following his inner zen buddha flow
At worst this whole thing could culminate
In amplifying the narrative of knick/heat hate.
I’ll give a shot.
The playoffs are all fine and dandy
But I’m very concerned about Landry
our number 2 ‘bounder
picked a bad time to flounder
In Miami, he’d sure come in handy
Now let’s raise a glass to Carmelo
A true Knick, I’d call that fellow
Because his scoring is grand,
his passing quite bland,
and his “D” is as firm as warm jello.
And last, this goes out to the trolls
with your wicked and black hearted souls
much to your chagrin,
the boys in blue win.
So crawl back under the bridge you (censored)
The tale of my sad little Jim
Whose daddy taught business to him
By giving power above
A great team we all love
While Jimmy was drinking the gin
Jimmy always had plenty to spend
On this he could always depend
Cause contracts are easy
Even when you are sleazy
If you think money buys you a friend
So he trusted a guy named Isaiah
Who thought of himself as a playa
The money he spent
Could have covered the rent
Of the rich guy who serves us as Maya
Bought Penny and then he bought Starbury
The contracts piled up in a big hurry
Then saw no alarm
When betting the farm
On a boatload at 5 named Eddy Curry
Though Marbury was now his ball handler
Isaiah’s mind still would meander
So he bought Stevey Franchise
And now he had two guys
To impress Ms. Anushka Browne Sanders
The contracts would quickly amass
The Garden became a morass
Lenny Wilkens tried his hand
Coach Brown took the stand
Till Walsh finally appeared to save our *ss
Jimmy finally found someone he could trust
Donnie “please,” I say, “fix this you must”
It lasted two years
Till Carmelo appeared
And now the whole thing is a bust
The playoff bound Knicks may astound
Despite facing the Celts in first round
But since Donnie won’t sign a guard
Prepare a sympathy card
He’ll end up in Dolan’s dog pound
http://espn.go.com/blog/DallasMavericks/post/_/id/4675991/legends-antonio-daniels-gets-call-from-76ers
In the first round we’d hoped for the Heat
Felton and Gallo could’ve helped STAT compete
But since that [bleep] ‘Melo trade
LeBron, Bosh, and Wade,
I fear we no longer can beat.
I’ll go haiku:
Knicks in the Playoffs?
Spring hearts swell with newfound pride
Like flowers in rain
http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/04/03/2147874/miami-heats-pat-riley-works-out.html
I’m feeling better about a NY v. Miami first round match up after reading that bit of news.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/writers/jack_mccallum/04/04/hall.of.fame.rodman/index.html
Seriously?! There are awful defensive players in the HOF. And many poor rebounders. Why no room for a great defensive player/rebounder that struggled on offense? Was Mullin a lock down defender?
My take on Rodman is that he’s probably roughly the 90th best player to ever play in the NBA. Is that Hall of Fame worthy? I have no idea.
I now looked to see who is in the Hall of Fame, and I count roughly 83 players in the Hall of Fame who are there for their American professional basketball years (as opposed to guys who are in for their foreign years and guys in there for their college years).
So with roughly, I dunno, 20-25 guys still playing today (plus the 10 or so who have retired already and will get in) that will be in the Hall of Fame eventually, that gives you 100-110 NBA players in the Hall of Fame who have careers you can compare against Rodman (you know, not counting Chris Paul, Kevin Durant, etc. who haven’t played long enough). So yeah, I have no problem with the 90th best guy being in there.
Rodman was an incredible player, and is absolutely deserving of getting into the Hall. He began his career at 25, and still put up all-time numbers for rebounding! 25! You know how many possessions he created for his teams? And his career eFG% is .52! He led the league at age 27! If that’s a “struggling” offensive player, then what the hell is Jared Jeffries?
Boards are important. Very important.
Even Eddy’s personal trainer won’t say a word about him.
“Legally dead.”
There once was a fan of the Knicks
who endured his fair share of licks
now a promising shot
for a championship lot
now just someone to rebound the bricks
Edgar Allan Poe would be proud.
Whoa, I don’t think TheRant got enough credit. That was epic.
There once was a young rooster named Gallo
Whose complexion became increasingly sallow
As trade rumours abounded,
Leaving Knick fans astounded.
Now Gallo’s sinking 3′s in Colorado.
This is the story of Melo
An offensively gifted fellow
Who sought the big stage
But plays D with malaise
So to a quick playoff exit say “Hello.”
But let’s not forget coach Mike.
Whose 7SOL I quite like.
If he’d signed with Chicago
He’d be playing for all the marbles
Instead he’ll be “gone fishin” for pike.
A set of unapologetic paeans for 5 starters to celebrate making the playoffs.
There once was a man named Amare
who held a media soirée.
“We’re back”, he declared.
And he proved well-prepared
to back up his words with star play.
There once was a man named Carmelo
who played ball like Casals played the cello.
With his effort concerted
his critics deserted
their skeptical views of this fellow.
There once was a point guard named Billups
who spurred his team forward with stirrups.
He showed them the way
to stay focused and play
with steadiness instead of the hiccups.
There once was a young man named Fields
with the poise that experience yields.
While only a rook
he wrote a playbook
with weapons few veterans wield.
There once was a center named Ronny,
whose will and toughness were stony.
When his body was willing
his defiance was thrilling
against those who had called his team phony.
As KB’s pioneer limerick writer ( http://KnickerBlogger.Net/gotme-knicks’-general-managers/ ) I’m happy to see this timeless form of expression carried on. Nothing says “go NY go NY go” quite like a limerick.
In terms of poetic technique this one definitely wins. Hats off to you all for the entertaining efforts
So finally it has come the time
For Knickerbloggers to post and rhyme
For if our team boxes out
Then together we’ll all shout
That we’re going to party like it’s 1999