EDITOR’S NOTE: Tonight was David Stern’s final Knicks game as NBA Commissioner. A few hours before tipoff, the Knicks were asked to write a short letter to Stern highlighting some of the ways the outgoing chief had touched their lives over the years. These are their letters.
|Carmelo Anthony, SF 30 MIN | 8-17 FG | 10-12 FT | 5 REB | 1 AST | 1 STL | 1 BLK | 2 TO | 29 PTS | +9
It’s been great working with you. When I came into the league I was just a kid, and you helped me keep my head on straight and get rid of that haircut. They say it’s a star’s league and you sure know how to take care of your stars. Remember that time me and LeBron [REDACTED] and then you had Silver come [REDACTED]? That was some funny shit. Anyway I hope you have a great retirement. Any time your in NYC be sure to hit me up. We’ll go that [REDACTED] up in [REDACTED] with all the [REDACTED] you tried getting numbers from after we [REDACTED]. Good times.
|Tyson Chandler, C 32 MIN | 4-4 FG | 3-5 FT | 8 REB | 0 AST | 0 STL | 3 BLK | 1 TO | 11 PTS | +27
Dear Commissioner Stern,
I’ve never liked you. I don’t like your face. I don’t like your hair. I don’t like your glasses. I don’t like your suits. I don’t like your teeth. I don’t like your wife. I don’t like your pet monkey Silver. I don’t like your shoes. I don’t like your voice. I don’t like your Subaru. And I don’t like your face.
Just kidding boss congrats have fun.
|Raymond Felton, PG 36 MIN | 5-10 FG | 2-2 FT | 5 REB | 9 AST | 1 STL | 2 BLK | 4 TO | 12 PTS | +33
Thank you for your service to the league. Every time I see you at an NBA event or All Star weekend you hand me your keys thinking I’m the valet, even though we shook hands at the Draft. But that’s OK. I liked parking your car. I’ve never driven a Subaru before. I didn’t know you were a Soulja Boy fan but it was playing pretty loud when I started the car. I’m a fan too. Speaking of cars I don’t know if this is the right place to tell you this but Andre Miller still hasn’t given my car back from when I let him borrow it in Denver. Just thought you should know.
|Pablo Prigioni, PG 22 MIN | 0-0 FG | 0-0 FT | 3 REB | 4 AST | 0 STL | 0 BLK | 1 TO | 0 PTS | +15
I would please like to belief that you are a wonderful basketball boss. When I come to league I was very old but you make me feel like baby. I hope that when you expire you may airplane down to my country. Here we will eat wine and I show you my roof filled with many grazing steaks. During day we can car to the plaza and purchase many short blue jeans, and at night we can disgust our loved game. I would like also you to taste my car collection. I have long empty road in front of my castle so we can swim fast. Thank you for letting me pray in America. It is a wonderful country and the peoples have very strange smells.
With a Heart That Is Bleeding and Yet Fantastic With Love,
|J.R. Smith, SG 35 MIN | 8-16 FG | 1-3 FT | 4 REB | 2 AST | 1 STL | 1 BLK | 0 TO | 19 PTS | +16
Shoes untied. [REDACTED]
PS — Use the money to pay for Cleveland’s ankle surgeries.
|Jeremy Tyler, PF 22 MIN | 4-6 FG | 0-1 FT | 6 REB | 1 AST | 2 STL | 1 BLK | 2 TO | 8 PTS | +14
I’m not gonan lie, I’m still pretty pissed you made that rule about high school kids that made me go to Japan. I thought it was a good idea at first but then I got there and that Mr. Baseball movie wasn’t lying. I broke four showerheads my first week there. You don’t know what it’s like stepping on people all the time. But I got my chance and now I’m happy, so thanks for making the NBA great. You’re pretty short too so don’t get stepped on out there.
|Tim Hardaway Jr., SG 30 MIN | 11-17 FG | 1-1 FT | 3 REB | 1 AST | 0 STL | 0 BLK | 1 TO | 29 PTS | +10
Dear Mr. Stern,
We haven’t gotten the chance to get to know eachother, but everyone says you were a great commissioner. Well, my dad says you were a mother-effer, but I think he meant that in a nice way. You know how my dad gets. Anyway I’m glad I got to put on a show for you for your last game at the Garden. I kept giving you the monocle after I’d make a basket but you looked like you were choking on water a lot. Hope you’re alright. I know my uncle PJ Brown says choking is fun but I don’t think it really is. I hope Adam Silver is as good as people say you were. I sometimes have nightmares of him biting my neck. I should talk to someone.
|Cole Aldrich, C 8 MIN | 0-1 FG | 2-2 FT | 3 REB | 0 AST | 0 STL | 2 BLK | 2 TO | 2 PTS | +5
Dea rCom mis sioner,
Iapologize ifth is ishard to r e ad but I have to wr i te wit h my mouth on acc ount m y han ds do n ‘t work sowell% g oo dlu ckwith vrything.
|Toure’ Murry, SG 6 MIN | 1-1 FG | 0-0 FT | 1 REB | 2 AST | 0 STL | 0 BLK | 2 TO | 2 PTS | +2
Thanks for signing the balls and also my checks.
|Metta World Peace, SF 19 MIN | 2-4 FG | 0-2 FT | 6 REB | 1 AST | 0 STL | 0 BLK | 1 TO | 5 PTS | +24
You know what the Vikings said about forgiveness? Nothin. But I think we should forgive each other. I was wild back in the day. Like a giraffe. That’s how I learned to steal lunch from the window washers. We should get together over All Star break down in the French Quarter. You know why they call it that right? Because same money buys you four times the trouble. Napoleon said that. HA! Remember when I was an All Star that one time? You probably wanted Scott Pollard. I don’t blame you. He’s an Aquarius. Hopefully once we’re both retired we can hang out at the golf course. Stack Jack and I go golfing with baseball bats. By hole five we have the course to ourselves. I actually invented the Arnold Palmer, but I call it the Peace Palmer. Did you know I rap? I’m putting out an album this summer. It’s called Taco Talk. I had cab drivers record all the beats. The Arab ones were the best. See you out there.
Five Things We Saw
- Simply put, the Cavaliers are like that time the lake in front of their city caught on fire. That’s how polluted and toxic the situation has become. You could read it in their movements, see it on their faces, and hear it in the emptiness that was their communication. The Cavaliers are bad, they are lost, and we beat the holy hell out of them. Like any half-decent team should.
- To achieve this, the Bockers burst out of the gate with the aplomb – and the small-ball lineup – that we’ve seen for going on a week. The rock ricocheted around the floor when it had to, stuck to Melo’s stove-hot mit when it wanted to, and generally continued looking like an extension of the team’s very basketball being. The looks were clean and unencumbered, the strokes confident and followed through. The spacing was [mostly] ideal, and the chemistry — mercifully, finally — looks locked-in, hopefully for the long haul.
- Is it just me, or does Kyrie Irving have a very distinct Richie-Tenenbaum-just-took-off-his-shoes vibe going on? I know he’s intimated that he would like out off of the flame-engulfed oil tanker that just careened into an iceberg please, but man, he’s not doing a very good job of hiding it where it matters most.
- As you’ve probably gathered from the above, David Stern was in attendance tonight – his final Knicks game as Commissioner. I can’t offer anything that hasn’t been or won’t be said in the myriad retrospectives and oral histories guaranteed to exhaust our open tabs in the coming days and weeks. But I will say this: Thank you for inventing an envelope-sized freezer.
- By my count, that’s four wins in a row. Celebrate accordingly.