Statistical Analysis. Humor. Knicks.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

James Dolan decides to Fix the Knicks

Look, I want to warn anyone who is thinking about reading further that what I will show you may ruin your day. There’s a lockout going on. No reason to think about basketball right now. Maybe you’re content with waiting to see what happens this season, full of optimism about the team and the direction in which it is heading. If so, go away. Right now. Because (SPOILER ALERT) this video is a reminder of a big problem with the organization.

Fix the Knicks.

No matter what positive expectations you might have for the coming season, the Knicks still have to deal with an owner who thinks it’s his job to Fix the Knicks. What he actually has to do is get out of the way of the basketball minds whom he pays to do Fix the Knicks for him. Once, it should have been Donnie Walsh fixing the Knicks. Now, who knows? But not the owner.

I almost forgot… he also listens to his “friend, Isiah Thomas.”

Uh oh.

28 comments on “James Dolan decides to Fix the Knicks

  1. Jim Cavan (@JPCavan)

    I saw this earlier today, and almost cried. I used to think Dolan was simply incompetent, dumb, vindictive, entitled, and a horrible musician. Now I’m starting to think he’s genuinely ill.

  2. Brian Cronin

    I mean, the very idea of him doing it.

    Yes, the song itself is terrible. But the idea of the guy being self-deprecating about how the Knicks have done. I think that’s a funny idea.

  3. Count Zero

    MY EARS, MY EARS!!!

    OMG, the humanity…

    Is it bad that I’m actually beginning to think it would be good if there is no NBA season in 11-12?

  4. bkimgerv

    How is the guy who presided over the slide from the winning teams of the ’90s through the decade of woe going to “fix” the team? They were winning consistently when his family bought the team. Or is he using “fix” the same way the vet does when discussing a male cat?

  5. Z

    My god– those poor people who went to an Aretha Franklin concert and had to be subjected to that!

  6. BigBlueAL

    Sorry I tried to listen to the entire song but I just couldnt. I hate Dolan even more now than I did before lol.

  7. Thomas B.

    He opened for the Queen of Soul with that mess? He has lost his mind. “Fix the Knicks” your dumb ass broke it in the first place. I feel sick.

  8. KnicksFaninNH

    I almost never comment here. But this just made me sad to be a Knicks fan. Gawd what an idiot… *sigh*

  9. SeeWhyDee77

    hahahaha…this is so…umm..corny, borderline arrogant, and offensive to knick fans that all I can do is Laugh. He’s one of the richest owners in the NBA…if he wants to make us happy he should start by wielding some influence and dropping the ego and help get this lockout ended. Hunter said it is very likely that the entire season will be cancelled. Sheesh..as an owner Jimmy D will do a bigger disservice to fans by being part of the stubborn contingent that allows the season to be canceled. Once the NFL realized what was goin on, players and owners kissed and made up. At all costs, they’ve gotta get a deal done. Not all the owners’ fault and Jimmy D certainly can’t fix it by himself..but one wold think that he has considerable influence as an owner in an HUGE market. Back to the song tho..horribly cheeky lol. sounds like it belongs in an 80’s B-Movie.

  10. larrondo

    Nope, nope, nope. Can’t watch that.

    As of right now I am an ex-knicks fan. I’m seriously going to try very hard not to care anymore. Letting Walsh go was the last straw.

    I first found this site after talking to someone at a poker game in Brooklyn. I was interested in learning more about how basketball really works, and he mentioned that he was a contributor. I really like it here and I’ve learned a lot. It has enriched me. But I don’t want to support a horrible rich jerk owner anymore. At this point, I like the community of this site more than I like the Knicks.

    I love NY. I love rooting for the NY team. I loved the 90’s teams. But now I feel wrong about the Knicks. I almost don’t want them to do well, and I want to support a team that reflects my values about how a franchise should be run. Or is at least doesn’t make me sick.

    Sports are funny– there is a nerdy/math component that I love– and reflects what is best about this site. But sports fandom works on the stupid, emotional parts of yourself. I’m going to try to resist my childish lizard-brain and walk away. There isn’t any law that says I have to be loyal just because they have a monopoly in my city.

    I wish the Nets had a site this good. Maybe they will be easier to root for.

  11. jon abbey

    Brian Cronin:
    But the idea of the guy being self-deprecating about how the Knicks have done. I think that’s a funny idea.

    the guy should be in prison for crimes against the city of New York, fucking hysterical.

  12. madgrinch

    This is a real life cautionary tale of what happens when no one tells you the truth about yourself.

    At some point somebody who cares about that man should explain to this man what a bad idea that was…he cant sing,and the song was a horrible idea as well as just a bad song…and never should my ears have to be subject to hearing the owner of Cablevision singing the blues.

    I needed this like i need a blunt object hurled at me when I’m sleeping.

  13. SeeWhyDee77

    U know what’s sad?? This fact: At least Sterling’s got Griffin and Gordon and positive buzz around that team. F’n incredible Dolan is…smh.

  14. Z

    The scary thing isn’t that he’s singing about fixing the the franchise that he broke or consulting his friend Isiah Thomas, or any of the superficial lyrics. That is just an attempt at levity, which one can be amused by or not…

    What IS scary is just how bad the song is from a musical standpoint. I think madgrinch nails it. The guy has never had to answer to a higher power, and the Knicks (and the Aretha Franklin fans) are worse for it.

    Very telling.

  15. SeeWhyDee77

    I’m sittin here goin over these comments and it hit me. It wasn’t Zeke or Layden who laid waste to one of the biggest franchises in sports. Sure they landed us in cap hell but those guys launched us into cap hell, but they believed that some of those guys they brought in would help us. Can’t fault them for that. Layden was banking on Dice recovering and contributing, and Zeke was relying on Marbury. I myself problee wouldn’t have traded for Dice, but I see his vision..dude was a BEAST B4 he got hurt. But back then, I problee woulda made the trade for Marbury. Statistically, he was awesome. The flaw in that was makin him the centerpiece and Dolan agreeing to take on as much salary as he did. Now, having Steph..I wouldn’t have added Crawford. And having Curry, I wouldn’t have added Randolph and vice versa if I had the choice. But at that point in their careers, except with Dice, I see the vision. Maybe Dolan shoulda been less of a yes man to Zeke’s notions. In the end, he has the overall power to say things like “no”. And “Steph..i’m suspending u becuz of conduct detrimental to the team”. Even Dolan shoulda been able to see the flaw in adding both Randolph AND Curry. And he can certainly say “Mike, I want some defense on this team. Ur a brilliant offensive coach, but if u don’t add some defensive substance, i’m firing u..for conduct detrimental to the team(lol)”. Now this doesn’t absolve Zeke and Layden in any way, they f’d up. I’m just sayin Dolan coulda signed off on better things. Of course, the Knicks were always gonna make money regardless so it didn’t matter to him. I think he has zero feeling for the game itself. He cares more about short term income it seems. Quick, someone transfuse some of Mark Cuban’s blood into this guy stat!!

  16. SeeWhyDee77

    SeeWhyDee77:
    I’m sittin here goin over these comments and it hit me. It wasn’t Zeke or Layden who laid waste to one of the biggest franchises in sports. Sure they landed us in cap hell but those guys launched us into cap hell, but they believed that some of those guys they brought in would help us.

    Oops..didn’t proofread. Was supposed to say”Sure they launched us int cap hell, but they believed..”

  17. DS

    Any thoughts on LeBron working on his post game with Hakeem? After the wounds of LeBron passing on coming to NY have healed, I realize I miss rooting for LeBron to become the best player he can be.

    It used to fun imagining him leading the league in scoring while averaging a triple double.

  18. DS

    I realize the Heat are up next on their terrible 5-on-5 series that I can stop reading (why aren’t there any Knickerbloggers on there?) so that will prob. inspire some comments.

  19. Son of Tastycakes

    I was at Jones Beach to see Aretha Franklin when this abomination came on as the opening act as a substitute for Al Green who’d cancelled the tour. Dolan is so full of himself its unbelievable. As a lead singer and guitar player he was awful. But he must have paid a fortune to have the band that played with him They were actually good, tight and rockin’. But when Dolan sang that awful song, “Fix the Knicks” I had this very dark feeling flow over me. I thought, we are fucked for as long as this guy lives and for me that means I will never see a Knicks championship again.

  20. dubisaweapon

    Here are the lyrics to “Fix the Knicks”:

    Everywhere I go
    I hear everybody say
    What you gonna do
    to make that team play
    Walk across the street
    at 34th and 6th
    Yelling from the cars, “hey man fix the Knicks”
    (CHORUS)
    Fix the Knicks
    and make them shine
    Get’em to win like its ’69
    Hittin’ all their free throws and no more shooting bricks
    Time to get it right
    and fix the Knicks
    Doing my best,
    yes, that’s my promise
    I check with my friends, call Isiah Thomas
    Pay no mind to those nasty critics
    They haven’t the thing to fix the Knicks
    (CHORUS)
    Know they’re getting Melo, we spare no expense
    They score a lot of points, but where’s the defense
    Everyone’s an expert
    so trade your draft picks
    You gotta get this guy
    to fix the Knicks
    (CHORUS)

    Thoughts? I almost threw up.

  21. Martin Finklestein

    Mr. Dolan you have once again taken my breath away from me. The pure untarnished beauty of that song will linger in my soul forever. Even as my cold dead body is placed into the unforgiving ground, I will be eternally “fixing the Knicks” in the existential realm of rythymn blues and ghostly harmony. Thank you my friend. Thank you Jesus!!!

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