Statistical Analysis. Humor. Knicks.

Monday, September 1, 2014

Gloat Across the Moat

One of the things that really pumped me up about watching last night’s game was a post by a fellow blogger. Joe Netsfan wrote a lovely piece “eulogizing” the Knicks after the Nets won only the first game. In his column, he proceeded to insult:

the Knicks coach,
“The Knicks…are coached by a legendary-but-long-past-his-coaching-prime man named Lenny from Brooklyn. He’s forgotten more than Lawrence Frank’s enormous brain has had a chance to learn, but that’s the whole problem. He can’t seem to remember it…”

their injured players,
“Tim Thomas’ injury on a hard-but-legal foul is unfortunate, but all that does is make the Knicks that much more weakened. As if the Nets needed any help from the Knicks in that department…Hell, unleash Allan Houston. He’s more precious than fine china, and couldn’t stand the bump-and-grind he’s likely to face.”

their heart,
“Of course, now the softer-than-DQ Knicks are saying all the right things, about how it’s only one game and they’re going to guarantee no more easy looks near the hoop. So, now they’re talking tough? That’s what makes the Knicks softer still – they can’t even find the right notes to play, ones that would actually convince us that they can back it up.”

their GM,
“What I’m telling you is this – the Knicks will have the life choked from their Isiah Thomas-built Frankenstein-esque roster no matter what the Knicks show up with.”

and their fans,
“Go softly into the night, Nicky Knicksfan. Do not cry because you’ve been beaten by the better team.”

Ouch!

I’m glad Joe has decided to reach out to us Knick fans with his liver. As Jason Kidd learned in game one, it’s easy to taunt someone lying on the floor while you’re standing over them. I’d thought that Joe Netsfan wouldn’t try to allientate Knick fans, since we give them our money when we show up in droves to help them fill their largely empty arena.

I’ll fully admit that the Nets are the better team this year, but isn’t it a little too early to gloat? I hope his article made him some extra friends out in the swamps. After that column, Joe won’t have any New Yorker’s shoulders to cry on when the Nets lose to the Pistons, are unable to sign a free agent (thanks Alonzo & Dikembe), and move the franchise to our city.

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