Statistical Analysis. Humor. Knicks.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

CRAIGSLIST >> GAME RESULTS >> INEXCUSABLE LOSSES >> 76ers 110, Knicks 106

Philadelphia 76ers 110 Final
Recap | Box Score
106 New York Knicks
Carmelo Anthony, SF 41 MIN | 10-23 FG | 2-3 FT | 4 REB | 7 AST | 2 STL | 1 BLK | 3 TO | 28 PTS | -8

FOR SALE >> CARS + TRUCKS >> 2003 LUXURY SPORTS UTILITY VEHICLE, 90K MILES

Plenty of mileage on it and doesn’t have the shine it did a few years ago but this versatile baby runs like a dream over all terrains, whether driving in heavy traffic or cruising long distances. Deals well with minor contact although more defensive driving is advisable. Every bit as great as it was when I drove it off the lot but I’m not living where I thought I would be so it doesn’t fit my life anymore; I doubt I’ll be driving it at all this May or June, for example. Trades will be considered as long as you offer me enough that I can justify it to my friends and family.

Tyson Chandler, C 35 MIN | 4-7 FG | 2-2 FT | 14 REB | 1 AST | 0 STL | 3 BLK | 1 TO | 10 PTS | -8

HOUSING >> APTS/HOUSING >> 5 BED/4 BATH VICTORIAN

Spacious five-bedroom fixer-upper; so much property that it often seems like the only house in distinguished “The Lane” neighborhood. This house has been the foundation for the last few years of our lives and we have so many memories here that I can hardly imagine leaving it. We were warned about the possible need for major repairs when we bought the home but it held up surprisingly well until this past year. Now, the renovations are likely a longer-term process than makes sense for where we stand in our lives right now. The roof is leaking and the floorboards are creaking but with a little work it may well be good as new by year’s end. E-mail me if that’s the kind of risk that is worth it for you right now.

Andrea Bargnani, C 28 MIN | 7-12 FG | 5-6 FT | 4 REB | 0 AST | 0 STL | 4 BLK | 5 TO | 20 PTS | +5

FOR SALE >> FURNITURE >> ELEGANT OVERSIZED ITALIAN ARMOIRE

The sleek, old-world elegance of a smaller unit in a much larger frame. It doesn’t really fit in most normally shaped rooms, but it’s really really big. The shelves are flimsy and tend to give under any weight but boy, is it big. It looks good from a distance but when you walk by and look at it up close every day you’ll realize that it’s pretty scuffed up and has some severe design flaws. On the other hand, it’s big.

Raymond Felton, PG 31 MIN | 4-10 FG | 0-0 FT | 2 REB | 7 AST | 1 STL | 1 BLK | 1 TO | 9 PTS | -9

COMMUNITY >> PETS >> PENGUIN

This is Raymond Felton’s season in a nutshell:

Iman Shumpert, SG 34 MIN | 5-9 FG | 6-8 FT | 8 REB | 2 AST | 0 STL | 0 BLK | 1 TO | 19 PTS | -19

FOR SALE >> ELECTRONICS >> FIRST-GENERATION IPAD, LIGHTLY USED

Got this thing in 2011 and boy was I excited. I’ve never been one to get the cool new electronic device right when it came out and my friends were all super jealous. A bunch of them even offered to buy it from me but I was having none of it, even when they offered way more than what it was probably actually worth. I loved the thing. Then, gradually, the newer models came out and Apple stopped updating the software for it as often and it got glitchy and I didn’t use it for what feels like almost a year. I’ve picked it back up lately and learned to do some new things with it but the feeling just isn’t the same anymore. With all the new technology that’s out there I can’t help but notice all the things it can’t do but for someone looking for a tablet that can do a couple of things very well and doesn’t need to be super-versatile, this could be a great deal.

Pablo Prigioni, PG 17 MIN | 0-0 FG | 0-0 FT | 3 REB | 4 AST | 2 STL | 0 BLK | 0 TO | 0 PTS | +5

FOR SALE >> CD/DVD/VHS >> LIKE-NEW COPY OF “FLASHDANCE” ON LASER-DISC!

You wanna talk about a classic? You wanna talk emotion? You wanna talk about losing yourself in the all-consuming power of dance? Pop this vintage disc into that old laser disc player in your attic and transport yourself to a world of hope and heart and power and DANCE DANCE DANCE! Has it seen better days? Will it occasionally freeze up at the exact moment when it has the most apparent of opportunities to deeply move you? Will it inspire a strong niche following that baffles the majority who see it as generally unremarkable? Sure. Whatever. You know better.

Tim Hardaway Jr., SG 16 MIN | 2-5 FG | 1-1 FT | 1 REB | 0 AST | 1 STL | 0 BLK | 1 TO | 6 PTS | +13

FOR SALE >> ELECTRONICS >> CURRENT-GENERATION IPAD, LIGHTLY USED

Psych! Not for sale! So, so much better than that iPad I, this thing is gonna be my go-to tablet for the next 10 years! Will definitely always seem this great.

J.R. Smith, SG 34 MIN | 5-16 FG | 1-4 FT | 3 REB | 3 AST | 1 STL | 2 BLK | 1 TO | 14 PTS | +5

FOR SALE >> INDUSTRIAL SUPPLY >> 10,000-GALLON DRUM OF GASOLINE

Gasoline! Who doesn’t love it? Looking for a quick burst of energy? Gasoline! Things not running quite right? Gasoline! Need to power yourself through a tough spot? Gasoline, Gasoline, Gasoline! More valuable than water and twice as good an investment so drink it, bathe in it, smoke it, even put it in your car’s gasoline tank!*

* Note: Assumes you are not a carbon-based life form, never light any open flames in your home, are immune to fumes, have no small children….you know what, forget the risks. YOLO. Buy this giant fucking vat of gasoline and worry about the doubters later.

Mike Woodson

FOR SALE >> ELECTRONICS >> CB RADIO

Available cheap: I no longer have much use for it since everyone has tuned it out.

One Thing We Saw

  1. Chop it up and sell it for parts.

30 comments on “CRAIGSLIST >> GAME RESULTS >> INEXCUSABLE LOSSES >> 76ers 110, Knicks 106

  1. Jack Bauer

    That was a really bad loss in a season of bad ones. Knicks at home against a team trying to lose and they get beat. Melo and JR 15 of 39, awesome. This sure looks like rock bottom – very , very bad. Woodson MUST go now, dude is completely clueless on making any positive adjustments. They might as well blow it up and start over, this is just not fucking working.

  2. DRed

    JR Felton, 65 minutes, 9-26 from the field, 23 points and zero fucking defense. All the switching in the world don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy league when players that bad get so many minutes

  3. RicanKnick

    Epic Recap Kevin!!! Lol…It’s amazing that the only good thing we can take out of this misery are great recaps like this one. Top 5 IMHO. I have two kids, one is 13 yrs old, the other is 10 yrs old…. obviously they’ve grown to be Knicks fans and I feel guilty for that. I’m sick and tired of this team. Would love to see Dolan sell it to the Steinbrenners or the Maras.

  4. johnno

    “Would love to see Dolan sell it to the Steinbrenners”
    It’s amazing to me how people’s perception of George Steinbrenner has changed over the years. Until he got suspended by MLB (and, therefore, forced to let people who actually knew something about baseball run the team), Steinbrenner was the baseball equivalent of James Dolan — a guy who spent money like a drunken sailor in ways that made no sense at all. The Yankees were also a lousy team every year until the “baseball people” took over running things. In case you forgot, George once actually hired a known lowlife to dig up dirt on his marquee player. If “in his prime” George Steinbrenner were running the Knicks right now, they would be in even worse shape than they already are. They would also be on their 4th coach of the season already — and it would probably be Isiah Thomas.

  5. johnno

    By the way Rican, my kids are about the same age as yours and I, too, feel guilty about turning them into Knicks fans. I coach my boys’ rec basketball team and they chose to name the team the Knicks.

  6. er

    They really do look better with Prigs out there.

    –That was the turning point in the fourth. Those subs. Melo was bad true, but subbing out THJR and Prig hurt also

    1 observation that pisses me off is running no plays for melo. Dude is automatic on catch and shoot threes. Can we run some pick and pop? or is that not an option?

    he should be avg like 8 3p attemts a game

  7. Crumple

    I’ve lost whatever optimism I had (was thinking maybe they could win the next 5).

    I’ve really never seen anything like this from NBA level defense. It must be so much fun to play against them!

    Clyde kept saying we don’t know the intricacies of the D on the bad switches involving Shump, but it looked to me like he was wrong every time. Why would you switch when your man cuts to the hoop from the foul line while Melo’s man takes a dribble from the block towards the elbow without a pick involved anywhere?????

    If that’s the scheme Woody should be fired immediately.

  8. thenamestsam

    Fantastic recap Kevin. The quality of the writing around here always seems to be correlated with the amount of frustration and angst being caused by the current team, and this season has struck a high note on both scales. I’d prefer a good Knicks team with shitty recaps, but this is a nice consolation.

    As for the team…it has all been said 100 times already, but that was the worst loss of the season. I just wish we’d hear something from management at this point. A team that 3 months ago they were saying had championship aspirations is now 15-27 (and has no draft pick). Fire the coach, make a rebuilding trade, hell, even make a stupid shortsighted win-now trade. At least then we’d know where they stand. But standing pat while this gets uglier and uglier…it’s hard to bear.

  9. KnickfaninNJ

    I loved the recap. The comments were spot on. But I would have given a better grade to Bargnani. It was definitely one of his best games. So much so that when he was sitting at the end, probably because of his elbow, and the game was slipping away, I actually thought “we need him out there”. If he can play well enough to make me think that (as you might guess, this isn’t a usual thought on my part), then he deserves better than a B-

  10. Brian Cronin

    Is woody the worst coach in the league? All the new guys seem to be pretty good

    Right? Such an impressive new crop of coaches. Haven’t seen this much of an influx of good coaching talent in quite a while.

  11. Brian Cronin

    I agree with er that Melo should be shooting more threes. I’ve always felt he should shoot more threes. I am glad that he has, for the most part, shot more threes since joining the Knicks and it has clearly helped his game. So he should do more.

    And yeah, Melo is lethal when he gets an open look, so why don’t they do more picks to get him those looks instead of just making him go find his own shot?

  12. thenamestsam

    Hard to say whether Woody is the worst. There are definitely some serious duds out there…but he is damn close to the bottom. It truly boggles the mind that he was originally brought here as a defensive coach. Hearing him bring up last year’s defense (mostly awful in case you’ve forgotten) as a justification of this abysmal system he runs is one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever heard. Not only does he not know how to coach defense – he doesn’t even know that he doesn’t know how to coach defense because he’s not even smart enough to figure out how to evaluate it.

  13. Crumple

    I love Melo, but the game was lost when he came back in the game. It was 90-84 Knicks and looking good. He came in, they ran ISOs, he missed a few, had a few turnovers, the Sixers converted those misses and TOs and it was game over.

    Clyde said it…everything changed when he came back in. Same old fight, fight, fight for position on the wing then dribble, dribble, dribble, stand, stand, stand and then shoot (or turn it over. or fire a pass to a Knick(Felton) who then then shoots a brick.)

  14. Douglas

    I love everything about this recap. I lost it at “Gasoline! Who doesn’t love it? Don’t ask questions! Gasoline!” part.

  15. Frank

    It truly boggles the mind that he was originally brought here as a defensive coach. Hearing him bring up last year’s defense (mostly awful in case you’ve forgotten) as a justification of this abysmal system he runs is one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever heard. Not only does he not know how to coach defense – he doesn’t even know that he doesn’t know how to coach defense because he’s not even smart enough to figure out how to evaluate it.

    No, he knows exactly what he’s doing when he talks about last year. As Chris Herring pointed out, Woodson uses PPP when it serves him, and PPG when it serves him. Woody talks about last year’s 3rd-ranked offense (by PPP) and then says we’re only giving up 99 PPG this year when in fact by PPP we are 27th in the league. And that “we’re still in the hunt”. Hunt for WHAT??!!?!? This team is awful.

  16. KJG

    @ 22… I don’t WANT to correlate the two, but I HAVE to… I rambled off a similar post last night… The only change was Melo for Bargs (and I know we dont love Bargs but whatever)… Its a disgrace and it was obvious the game changed at that very point. The offensive scheme changed when he entered, and it changed for the worst… so much damn time is wasted as he fights for position, then he dribbles the clock down to nothing and gets off a low % shot or turns it over…

    it was actually 90-86.. not a big deal… it was 90-84 before JR fouled Turner… and then when you read the rest of the game log its a lot of missed shots by everyone, mostly JR and Melo… some Melo Turnovers, the Melo Tech… im sick

  17. DRed

    And yeah, Melo is lethal when he gets an open look, so why don’t they do more picks to get him those looks instead of just making him go find his own shot?

    It’s the age old question, what comes first, the Melo or the iso? Is Melo a ball stopper, or is it the fault of his coaches?

  18. Frank

    It’s the age old question, what comes first, the Melo or the iso? Is Melo a ball stopper, or is it the fault of his coaches?

    Given how the Nuggets looked after Melo left, I’d say that Melo was the iso-problem in Denver. But there’s no doubt that Woodson is at least a big part of the problem here. Plays are run just to get Melo the ball in iso settings. And of course we have Woodson’s iso-Joe history.

    The whole thing needs to be torn down. I actually do think we will play better down the 2nd half stretch, especially when Kenyon Martin comes back (he makes a surprising difference on this team), but there’s just no chance of us making any real noise past the 1st round of the playoffs. And while I actually like Melo, I can’t see us reloading for a new run with him at age 32 in 2015-16.

  19. Brian Cronin

    No, he knows exactly what he’s doing when he talks about last year. As Chris Herring pointed out, Woodson uses PPP when it serves him, and PPG when it serves him. Woody talks about last year’s 3rd-ranked offense (by PPP) and then says we’re only giving up 99 PPG this year when in fact by PPP we are 27th in the league. And that “we’re still in the hunt”. Hunt for WHAT??!!?!? This team is awful.

    I’ve noted in the past that one thing that does impress me with Woody is that the dude knows how to play the political game. The PPP vs. PPG thing is a brilliant example of that. Stress the importance of whichever one makes you look good at that moment. If he was half as good of a coach as he is as a public spinner, he’d be a fine coach.

  20. RicanKnick

    @johnno You are right about George. But I wrote “the Steinbrenners” obviously not referring to Old George ways… But anyway, since 1989 (the year I became a NYK fan) my beloved NY Yankees have won 5 championships, 7 AL Pennants and 13 East Div. Titles…so, you do the math. You can say whatever you want about George, but he cared about winning and his team delivered. Haven’t seen that from Dolan’s team ever.

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