So we weren’t able to play 48 minutes of good basketball… how about 58 minutes of filth?
Look, I’m as big a fan of basketball as anyone, but tonight I was begging for my life that the game would just be over already, whatever the final score. If the game against the Wizards was the worst Knicks game, this one takes the cake as the worst overall game. And it just wouldn’t quit! It was like an all you can eat of slightly spoiled asian fusion food: you love it at first, but after the twentieth or so small plate you begin to feel fairly constipated and in need to leave the joint. That’s exactly how I felt at the end of the first overtime, realizing I had to endure (at least) other five minutes of terrible basketball.
The game was so bad that I felt no emotional attachment to the outcome, so I can’t really hand good and bad labels today. I’ll just keep the sushi metaphor rolling and assign a different dish to every player who got tainted by this foul show. I assume you’re all well versed in the (imitative) Japanese cuisine, but for further context I’ll encourage you to look at this.
– Spicy salmon and avocado temaki: Enes Kanter (23 pts, 24 rebs, 7 ast, +7 +/-) was everything and more tonight, scoring with high-medium efficiency, rebounding everything in sight and bullying pretty much everyone on the floor. Wendell Carter Jr. is no slouch, but had no chance of guarding Enes one on one. When the offense wasn’t working, which means pretty much always, you could give the ball to Enes on the left block and let him cook. He was often badly exposed on defense (what a surprise), but the team needed too much his offense to sit him in spite of his deficiencies on the other side of the floor. He played 42 minutes and didn’t look that spent at the end. Sadly, Enes is a guy who needs playing time to perform at his best, and that hinders the development of a few key pieces, namely the extremely raw Mitchell Robinson. Oh, and here’s your total list of guys with 23-24-7 starting from the bench in NBA history: Enes, and Kanter. He also posted the highest ever Game Score by a reserve. He gets to be the temaki since it’s the biggest, beefiest of the sushi family, giving you everything while you’re eating it (the crispness of seaweed, the amazing texture of salmon, the slick roll of avocado on your palate, the thickness of the rice, and the punch of the spicy sauce) but ultimately you end up thinking that you just ate a lot of rice and your stomach is a quarter full, leaving less room to try more interesting things.
– Surf and turf roll: Mario Hezonja (15 pts, 6 rebs, 2 ast, +2 +/-) has a lot of ingredients in him, but you’re never really sure what you’re getting from a bite. Sometimes it’s tasty, sometimes it’s bland, sometimes you can’t handle the chopsticks well and you bite nothing at all since it just falls helplessly on the floor. His connections with Enes were great, but if he has to finish a contested layup from the dribble he puts up such a weak effort that it’s always gonna get easily swatted away. Anyway, he provided some offense on a team that had none for a large portion of the game, it’s just that he was inefficient and inconsistent at that.
– Philly roll: Emmanuel Mudiay (16 pts, 6 rebs, 2 ast, +11 +/-) is the dish that looks good for everyone that’s not really into sushi, as the cream cheese pretty much drowns every other taste, making the feat of swallowing raw fish more manageable for kids and easily impressionable table companions, especially if confidently dipped in soy sauce. His game tonight was much easier to gobble down that in any other Knicks venture of his, as he was a jolt of energy to the anemic PG spot. He ended up hitting the game tying layup with 2.7 seconds remaining (ah! the soft salmon on the tongue!) and committing a very stupid and evident foul with 0.2 seconds on LaVine, who ultimately made 1 of 2 to seal the game (damn, who put this much cream cheese into this roll? It’s stomach-churning for any real sushi lover!)
– Sake nigiri: Damyean Dotson (18 pts, 5 rebs, 1 ast, -1 +/-) is easily the most dependable Knick nowadays. You know what you get from the get go and he never disappoints you. Also his game is like sake nigiri, in that you remember when you were asking your former partner (or coach) to give it a chance but it was a no go, and understand how lucky you are that your current partner (or coach) knows you were right and trusts it so much.
– Unagi roll: Noah Vonleh (10 pts, 11 rebs, 1 ast, -4 +/-) is too much volatile from one game to another – or even one quarter to another, just like it’s hard to find two pieces of unagi roll that taste the same. Lady Farfa likes to order it everytime we find a restaurant that has it, and there’s no way we’re gonna enjoy every single piece. There’s always at least one that tastes funny (sometimes the whole roll), but when you find the ones that taste good, boy how nice it is! Noah’s game tonight was all over the place, with strong rebounding intersparsed with half-arsed attempts at the rim and apathetic and perfunctory playmaking (4 TOs). At least he didn’t commit a lot of fouls and was able to play 35 minutes, posting another double double in the process.
– Tempura roll: Allonzo Trier (21 pts, 3 rebs, 1 ast, -1 +/-) started timidly and seemed out of place at the beginning. Who would have thought that to disrupt the very basic offensive sets of Fizdale just sending a double would be enough? Trier was completely neutralized in the first half because of that – and the inability of any other Knick to be a bit of a playmaker. He was much more confident in the second half and subsequent overtimes, getting to the line at will and scoring efficiently (21 points on 15 shots) even on a night when his shots weren’t falling that much. Loving this kid sassiness, just like I love the impudent fried shrimp stealing the job of raw fish.
– Tuna sashimi: Frank Ntilikina (0 pts, 1 reb, 2 ast, -17 +/-). A friend of yours keep telling that, hey, he’s been in Tokyo, and there’s nothing like a good katsuo sashimi; you have to try it to really know it. You trust your friend, and order tuna sashimi at every restaurant. Sometimes it’s meh, sometimes it’s just ok, sometimes (like Frank tonight) it’s downright terrible, since tuna is the fish most prone to oxidation among the most prominent ones in sushi kingdom. You’ll keep on trying it, hoping to catch lightning in a bottle, even if your trust in that friend is slowly, sadly starting to wane. Maybe a tuna nigiri would be better (read: taking away Frank from the ball)?
– Soy sauce: Mitchell Robinson (0 pts, 3 reb, 2 blks, -9 +/-) was quite useless tonight. His game should make everything more mouthwatering, but when it’s not properly seasoned you should reeeally pick your spots about when to use it. Sorry Mitch, this wasn’t the game for you, even if it’s not entirely your fault. Fiz’s crew has to figure out something more creative on offense to make things click and open some cracks for Mitch to slip in and dunk a few.
– Hosomaki kappa: Trey Burke (8 pts, 2 reb, 3 ast, +7 +/-). You know that dish that, well, maybe you eat because you’re bored while waiting for most tasty stuff, but doesn’t make you feel guilty because in the end it’s just rice and vegetables? Heh. Trey was just mediocre, which tonight was a huge improvement on Ntilikina’s output.
– Pickled ginger: Lance Thomas (2 pts, 1 reb, 50% FG, +1 +/-) is like the thing they give you in most restaurants to eat between different dishes to make you feel better the taste before and after. Lance makes you remember how the guy that played before him was better, and makes you appreciate how the guy that plays after him is better. 5 minutes played in a 58 minutes romp is still a good sign from Fiz.
– A random dish you can’t see well from the other side of the room but you think you might like: Kevin Knox (2 pts, 1 stl, 50% FG). Is he good? We hope so. What is he? Who knows? Anyway it’s good to know he’s on the menu.
Desserts and beverages not included:
– Fiz’s ATOs must be the worst in the entire league. I can’t remember a single ATO where we ended up scoring the ball in 11 games. I’m seriously baffled at how we’re offensively challenged when we can’t get in transition.
– Frank is 0 for 13 from three since his last make. He’s reverting to a lot of bad habits. I hope the coaching staff can do something for him, we can’t afford him to be a useless (or detrimental) cog on offense.
– So, is this life without THJ? I might have been too harsh with him. In two games played without full strenght Timmy, our offense has looked between grisly and hideous. I don’t think THJ’r return will make things that much more palatable, but we need all the help we can get. Especially me if I’m to go through a full season of recaps.
– Tonight’s starting lineup was the youngest ever for the Knicks franchise. I suspect we won’t be seeing the same starting five next game, even if THJ is sidelined. I expect Mudiay to start at PG.
Ok, at least we bagged another loss as we climb our way to the summit of mount Tank. See you on Wedsnesday for the Hawks game, where I think we’ll win comfortably.