Statistical Analysis. Humor. Knicks.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Celtics 109, Knicks 98

New York Knicks 98 Final 109 Boston Celtics
Kurt Thomas, PF 14 MIN | 2-3 FG | 0-0 FT | 2 REB | 0 AST | 4 PTS | +4

Pretty much a standard issue outing from our resident prune juicer. It’ll be interesting to see what kind of role he ends up carving out if and when Copeland is officially brought on. That is, beyond asking the bedreaded neophyte where KT’s teenage daughters might pick up one of those purdy, fancy-ass headbands.

Raymond Felton, PG 21 MIN | 3-7 FG | 0-0 FT | 1 REB | 7 AST | 6 PTS | -1

You know, I’m sure there’s a planet out there – maybe in our own galaxy – where Raymond Felton is a better point guard than Jeremy Lin. It’s called Feltonia, and it’s populated by 10 billion Raymond Feltons. And nothing else.

Snark aside, this wasn’t Ray’s most promising preseason outing by any stretch. Rondo made him look like a fool a number of times early, and there were a few too many I’ve-made-one-shot-in-a-row heat checks. For good or ill, this is our starting point guard on opening night, which I’m more than willing to accept, when November 1st rolls around. In the mean time, allow me my bitter indulgences, please.

James White, G 45 MIN | 7-16 FG | 2-2 FT | 4 REB | 2 AST | 16 PTS | -10

His contract already guaranteed, it’s nice to see Flight settling into some semblance of a groove ahead of his first serious stint in The Show. A couple of early threes, some surprisingly prescient passes – not a bad overall offensive game. On defense, however, White – like most of his fellow wings – struggled mightily defending the perimeter. At least he’s got the Screamin’ Jay Hawkins thing goin, though. (Big ups to Bobby Silverman for this comp.)

Mychel Thompson, SG 38 MIN | 3-11 FG | 1-2 FT | 6 REB | 3 AST | 7 PTS | -14

Woof. I’m sure Mychel whips the hell out of Klay in Connect Four, but dude can’t buy a basket — or a layup, or a defensive stop, or shoes that aren’t chiseled out of concrete, apparently — and will likely not be looking back on this training camp experience too fondly. Particularly after getting run down by Jeff Green in the open court and clowned on an attempted dunk. If you haven’t seen it, just find a feed for Comcast Sports Network out of Boston. They replayed it twelve times during the post game show, and I’m not entirely convinced they’ve stopped.

Chris Copeland, F 37 MIN | 11-18 FG | 9-9 FT | 4 REB | 2 AST | 34 PTS | -10

ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, FINE! YOU CAN STAY!

For a guy who spent last year playing on something called “Generali Okapi Aalstar” in something called “Belgium,” Copeland’s stateside return — an ascendance that started in Summer League and has carried over to two impressive preseason outings — has been pretty inspiring. He’s likely played himself onto the team, which is great and all. But really I think Cope’s just excited he doesn’t have to go to war with 11 dudes all named Arnaud, Niels, or Matthias.

John Shurna, F 16 MIN | 0-3 FG | 3-4 FT | 3 REB | 0 AST | 3 PTS | -9

Let’s get down to brass tacks: Shurna’s headed to the D-League. You can see the rudiments of game, but his lack of bulk and quickness just make him too much of a liability on both ends of the floor.

Steve Novak, SF 28 MIN | 5-9 FG | 0-0 FT | 3 REB | 0 AST | 15 PTS | -10

A nice return to form for our resident wrist-flicking savant — one made all the more glorious by a classic Tommy Heihnson passive-aggressive swipe: “He can shoot…. I mean, he can’t do anything else…”

Pablo Prigioni, PG 23 MIN | 1-7 FG | 0-0 FT | 4 REB | 9 AST | 2 PTS | -5

Prigs and Copeland in particular continue to display some nice chemistry, with every pick, roll, and finely threaded bounce pass making you wonder how — even when you know something’s coming — you just can’t stop it. More and more, it’s looking like our steadfast Argentine might be something more than a back court afterthought heading into the season. His on-ball defense might be piss poor, his ability to penetrate a shadow of bygone moxie, but his Jason Terry chest bumps and shit talking are apparently just hitting their prime.

Loose translation of Prigs’s message to JET: “I am a gaucho fed with hearty beef and good wine, and you are my Pampas trolup.”

Henry Sims, G 18 MIN | 3-5 FG | 3-4 FT | 3 REB | 0 AST | 9 PTS | -10

Again, given Copeland’s performance, all of this is likely moot. Sims…. did some stuff. Though not nearly on the level we should expect from someone with a listed height of 8’9″.

Oscar Bellfield, G 10 MIN | 1-5 FG | 0-0 FT | 1 REB | 1 AST | 2 PTS | -7

I’m no scientist, but I can’t believe the best program for proving your NBA mettle includes hoisting up 27-foot haymakers and letting a 120-pound Rajon Rondo post you up like Oliver Miller.

Queue Mike Gorman, who shows why working for over two decades with Tommy Heinsohn can teach you a few things about petty, pointless swipes: “Oscar Bellfield with the ball…. He probably won’t make the team.”

Things We Saw

  1. Thirty-one free throws? Someone’s in mid season form!
  2. Our perimeter D was Car 54, Where Are You? THE MOVIE bad
  3. That’s all I got.
  4. Wait, that’s a lie. I have a link to our book’s website.
  5. Here it is: http://wellalwayshavelinsanity.com/

6 comments on “Celtics 109, Knicks 98

  1. ruruland

    “You know, I’m sure there’s a planet out there – maybe in our own galaxy – where Raymond Felton is a better point guard than Jeremy Lin. It’s called Feltonia, and it’s populated by 10 billion Raymond Feltons. And nothing else. ”

    Ha, sometimes I wish Cavan would come down from whatever planet he’s on and post.

  2. chrisk06811

    Amare, Kidd, Chandler, Melo, JR: DNP. Yet Jim gets stuck doing the writeup. Is that dedication or disrespect?

  3. Frank O.

    How is it that Amare can have a cyst on his knee and the Knicks not know it? I mean, what the hell. Amare out two to three weeks. Now it’s ruptured? I have always wondered about the Knicks’ medical staff.

  4. Shad0wF0x

    Frank O.:
    How is it that Amare can have a cyst on his knee and the Knicks not know it? I mean, what the hell. Amare out two to three weeks. Now it’s ruptured? I have always wondered about the Knicks’ medical staff.

    Seriously. If Dolan is willing to shell out money anyway, go to the Phoenix suns crew, offer them twice the money and get their medical support. Unless if there’s some kind of staff salary cap I’m not aware of.

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