Statistical Analysis. Humor. Knicks.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

BREAKING NEWS: Tyson Chandler Suffered a Non-Displaced Fracture, Out 4-6 Weeks

So I guess all of those votive candles we lit and virgin goats we sacrificed to Cthulhu when a stumbling Kemba Walker went barreling into Tyson Chandler’s knee/leg/stem early in the first quarter of last night’s poop-tastic loss to the Kitties, didn’t really help. Here’s the awful truth:

Here’s my first thought…

please-god-no

Much better. Second… Well, I mean, it could have been worse? Right? It could have been ruled a “bruise” and we’d be told he’s “Day-to-day,” a time period in Dolantown (it’s Dolantown, Jake) could mean a scraped shin or an amputation. This is a real, actual thing, with a concrete, painfully-slow, oppressive ticking clock.

We’ll talk more about what this means for the Rube Goldberg device that is the Knickerbocker rotation later today, but Tyson’s the one cog in this wobbly machine they had absolutely no replacement for on the roster. They’re going to need a March ’13-like run from Kenyon Martin, hopefully without turning his weary bones/ligaments/tendons into a substance that resembles guacamole. Logic suggests a return to the Ray-Prigs-Shump-Melo-K-Mart quintet, so…hahahahaha. Logic! I made a funny! If anything, this’ll give Bargs more playing time and ‘solidify’ his starting role. Guh.

Or…Colesanity? Tylersanity? Hope!

20 comments on “BREAKING NEWS: Tyson Chandler Suffered a Non-Displaced Fracture, Out 4-6 Weeks

  1. bocker84

    I do believe I speak for the rest of Knicks fandom when I say – FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU*******************************************************************************************KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

  2. MarcusRinaldi

    At least the east minus Indiana and Miami looks wide open. If we stick around .500 until he’s back in rhythm then the season is still alive. Let’s give Eddy Curry a call over in china. (Jokes)

  3. DRed

    “Our defense, it stinks right now,” Woodson said. “We got to get it fixed. In order for us to stay in the race you’re going to have to defend and rebound the ball.”

    Could this perhaps have anything to do with giving major minutes to a center who can’t rebound and doesn’t play defense? Or playing a 2 guard with 5 rebounds over 4 games (who also can’t shoot)? Maybe it’s time to try some other guys, coach.

  4. JK47

    Maybe now would be a good time to quit dicking around with Chris Smith, and to get on the phone with Ike Diogu. Lil Pipe got to have his Lil Pipe dream of being on an NBA roster for five minutes. Enough of the little charade now– let’s get a guy who might be actually able to play the forward position with even replacement-level ability for more than 10 minutes every other game.

  5. mokers

    We’ll see how serious the Knicks are. I have been largely an optimist here, but the Tyson injury will put me into the 2012-2013 was a fluke camp if the front office doesn’t come up with a better plan. Chris Smith has to go, but I don’t buy into this idea that Amar’e or Martin are acceptable bodies in the middle. They should get another healthy body that can rebound. It’s bad that Tyson is out, it would be worse if he is rushed back before healing. Luckily we will have a great pu pu platter of undersized PF and terrible on offense big men to choose from!

  6. Donnie Walsh

    I do believe I speak for the rest of Knicks fandom when I say – FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU*******************************************************************************************KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

    Don’t speak for me. I think this is good news.

    1) It forces Woodson to be creative.
    2) It (hopefully) forces the FO to scour the D-League for young talent.
    3) It rests Tyson for the 2nd half.
    4) It means the Knicks won’t win a trumped up 54 games this year, lulling the fans and FO into thinking they are on the right path to a championship.

  7. nicos

    Anyone know how close Tyler is to being ready to play? I’m sure he’s first choice for the Knicks when they waive Smith (or Toure Murry) but if he’s still a few weeks away you have to figure they’ll sign Diogu. While I’m not particularly high on Aldrich he should be playing 20+ minutes a night until Chandler gets back. Just as important as his rebounding is his ability to set screens- if a Knick set a good screen last night I must have missed it.

  8. Frank O.

    In some distorted way, the Knicks were better for the injuries they suffered last year, so there could be a case made that this will force creativity and chances taken on bench and D league types.
    It also could push Woodson to actually let Amare play so that he can get reps and sharpen up. (I believe Amare’s issues are a lack of continuity and reps, which I realize is a minority view)
    One way or another, they’ll have to adapt.
    But I feel bad for Tyson because he was looking great.

  9. Donnie Walsh

    So we have to be worse than Denver to keep out pick? Or have a worse pick rather?

    No. We have to get into James Dolan’s personal time-machine and untrade for Carmelo Anthony to keep that pick.

  10. DRed

    So we have to be worse than Denver to keep out pick? Or have a worse pick rather?

    The pick is gone. We traded it unconditionally to Denver in the Melo deal. Denver then traded either it’s own pick or the Knick’s former pick to Orlando.

  11. mase

    When do we start the ‘Woodson being axed’ countdown… No way Dolan understands how bad this team will be without Tyson and Woodson will be the fall guy.
    Maybe it will force Woodson to get creative but that’s unlikely because everything Tyson does we need from players who can’t provide those attributes… expect for mwp and iman… … How I hope this forces the team to plummet and trade melo before the deadline before signing him long term…. Keep fingers crossed people.

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