Statistical Analysis. Humor. Knicks.

Friday, October 24, 2014

Author: Kevin McElroy

Kevin McElroy watches the Knicks and owns a computer.

Recent Articles

Knicks 83, Bulls 78

“The armies separated; and, it is said, Pyrrhus replied to one that gave him joy of his victory that one more such victory would utterly undo him.” – Plutarch “Some speak of the future. My love she speaks softly. She knows there’s no success like failure. And that failure’s no success at all.” – Bob Dylan, “Love Minus Zero” “The only victories which leave no regret are those which are gained over ignorance.”  – Napoleon Bonaparte Fifteen times this season the Knicks have been outscored by their opponent.  Tonight’s contest — composed as it was of a comprehensively fulfilling start that gave way to …continue reading

Knicks 121, Magic 83


Orlando Magic 83 Final Recap | Box Score 121 New York Knicks Kenyon Martin, PF 20 MIN | 1-3 FG | 1-2 FT | 4 REB | 0 AST | 0 STL | 2 BLK | 0 TO | 3 PTS | +6 It ain’t easy being the only help defender on a team that isn’t exactly the best at staying in front of ballhandlers or cutters in the first place. He filled that role nicely tonight but his run of puzzlingly mediocre rebounding on a team that has so few other plus rebounders also continued. Becoming clearer and clearer …continue reading


Play along at home! This [A PART OF THE DAY], the Knicks suffered a ["Frustrating"/"Embarrassing"] loss at the hands of [NBA TEAM].  A rough start, characterized by [Choose at least three of "Poor shooting," "Lackluster interior defense," "A lack of ball movement," "Inability to protect the defensive glass," "Turnovers and fouls"] saw the Knicks fall behind by [NUMBER BETWEEN 8 AND 25].  The bench provided ["little"/"no]” help, as JR Smith’s performance was ["uneven"/"total dogshit"] and interior muscle was provided by ["nobody"/"absolutely nobody"]. In the ["second"/"third"/"fourth"/"imaginary non-existent"] quarter, Carmelo helped make up some of the deficit through a nice stretch of …continue reading

Pistons 92, Knicks 86

There are no bright spots.  There isn’t a goat.  There are no A’s and B’s, no D’s and F’s.  There are players who seem utterly incapable of doing what is required of them and then there are other players whose lesser crime is that they can’t cover up the blemishes anymore.  So let’s start there.  That’s the scenery. There is a coach, a coach who won 54 games last year and garnered considerable popular support during awards season.  A coach who has been reduced to platitudes (“We just don’t know who we want to be yet!”) that would be easily …continue reading

Rockets 109, Knicks 106

Houston Rockets 109 Final Recap | Box Score 106 New York Knicks Andrea Bargnani, PF 33 MIN | 9-12 FG | 3-4 FT | 4 REB | 0 AST | 0 STL | 1 BLK | 0 TO | 24 PTS | +7 [Afraid to say anything that might jinx it] Carmelo Anthony, SF 44 MIN | 17-30 FG | 9-11 FT | 10 REB | 4 AST | 0 STL | 1 BLK | 3 TO | 45 PTS | +7 Brilliant. Totally and completely brilliant. One horrible decision (his off-ball foul on Howard after the 2 minute mark) …continue reading

Knicks-Bobcats Intermezzo (And Game Thread!)

Robert Silverman and I have been exchanging e-mails in the hours and days since the Knicks last took the floor against Charlotte.  It’s gone basically how you would expect.  Here, see for yourself: FROM: Robert Silverman TO: Me Nov 5 (3 days ago)  So when you IM’d me by saying, “Fuckity fuck fuck fucker fuck ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY,” I thought we should talk. Not because I disagree with your assessment of the state of Knickerbloggeristan right now, but because (and I could be wrong) I think there might be a little bit more to it than that. I mean, I was …continue reading

Next(ish)-Day Notes and Errata: Timberwolves @ Knicks

Here there be meaningless statistics!

Lots to grumble about after a disastrous first quarter sunk the Knicks into a hole that they couldn’t quite climb out of Sunday night.  I’m going to do something weird.  I’m going to totally ignore Andrea Bargnani.  Plenty of logical arguments were made before the season about the holes in his game and the attendant role that he should be afforded but the simple truth is that any attempt to bolster (or usurp) those arguments based on three games is likely to be gobbled up by the dreaded Small Sample Size Kraken.  If you had an opinion on  Bargs before the …continue reading