Statistical Analysis. Humor. Knicks.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Author: Kevin McElroy

Kevin McElroy watches the Knicks and owns a computer.

Recent Articles

Bucks 101, Knicks 98: Harshing My Melo

I mean, what’s left to say?  Certainly nothing useful, or particularly insightful, or even marginally comforting.  The Knicks are not only a bad basketball team but the worst kind of bad basketball team: the kind that is good enough to invoke sporadic hope but sufficiently inept to ensure that it’s promptly and consistently crushed.  The kind without a draft pick or a young centerpiece or a long-term plan beyond “make money, spend it on ‘marquee’ players, don’t let the haters get you down.” This paragraph will be the only place that I mention Mike Woodson, who regardless of the amount …continue reading

Knicks 114, Celtics 88: The State of the Knicks Address

Boston Celtics 88 Final Recap | Box Score 114 New York Knicks Carmelo Anthony, SF 28 MIN | 8-15 FG | 5-7 FT | 9 REB | 4 AST | 4 STL | 0 BLK | 3 TO | 24 PTS | +22 Good evening distinguished players, honored coaches, august bloggers, committed comment board veterans, and everyone reading this at home. I stand before you as a humble representative of a blog, a team, a franchise to report to you that the State of our Knicks…is strong. [RAUCOUS APPLAUSE FROM ALL IN ATTENDANCE] It is impossible to talk about the …continue reading

What Kind of Big Has the East Been?

Robert Silverman and I decided to have a Midseason Assessment e-mail exchange. It quickly devolved (EVOLVED?) into something predictably weird but unpredictably specific in its weirdness. It is recorded below. We promise you an actual midseason post soon. ROBERT Here we stand, Kevin. At the midpoint of a howling garbage fire of a season. The ruins of yesterday still smoldering, possibly to the point of toxicity (and I’ve certainly made inquiries with the NY DEP) and definitely emitting an odor that is as pungent as a combination of burnt dog hair and whatever that smell is when you stick a …continue reading

CRAIGSLIST >> GAME RESULTS >> INEXCUSABLE LOSSES >> 76ers 110, Knicks 106

Philadelphia 76ers 110 Final Recap | Box Score 106 New York Knicks Carmelo Anthony, SF 41 MIN | 10-23 FG | 2-3 FT | 4 REB | 7 AST | 2 STL | 1 BLK | 3 TO | 28 PTS | -8 FOR SALE >> CARS + TRUCKS >> 2003 LUXURY SPORTS UTILITY VEHICLE, 90K MILES Plenty of mileage on it and doesn’t have the shine it did a few years ago but this versatile baby runs like a dream over all terrains, whether driving in heavy traffic or cruising long distances. Deals well with minor contact although more …continue reading

Knicks 102, Sixers 92

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New York Knicks 102 Final Recap | Box Score 92 Philadelphia 76ers Kenyon Martin, PF 27 MIN | 4-5 FG | 0-0 FT | 8 REB | 3 AST | 0 STL | 2 BLK | 3 TO | 8 PTS | +3 Kenyon Martin should not be as important to a team in 2014 as he is to these Knicks but holy hell is he ever. Showed off a mid-range game tonight and made a couple of key passes to go along with his normal rebounds-defense-enforcement act. His flagrant was only probably even a foul on him and was …continue reading

Well Then…

Today, roughly 3 months and 10,000 jokes too late, the Knicks waived Chris Smith.  Then, this happened: The hardest part about writing this post is knowing where to start so forgive me if these aren’t in order of importance but here’s what I’ve got: 1) First, there’s nothing fun (for me) about being a gossip columnist and I don’t like speculating about what is in the heads of other people (least of all people like JR Smith whose thought process tends at times to be, shall we say, unconventional) but I’d appreciate if we can all just assume away the …continue reading

Wiz 102, Knicks 101: The Coach

I’m typing this sentence because it’s been 40 minutes since Mike Woodson burned his last bridge with Knicks fans and I don’t feel like staring at a blank page any longer.  And I’m typing this sentence because life is about moving on and making the best of it even when things aren’t going your way which, incidentally, is exactly the reason that Woodson shouldn’t be the Knicks’ coach by the time I wake up tomorrow morning. It’s not personal with Coach Woodson, even if it starts to feel that way on nights like tonight.  Nights when we wince at the …continue reading