Statistical Analysis. Humor. Knicks.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Author: Robert Silverman

Hey, did you know that in addition to banging the keys here and occasionally for the NY Times and at ESPN, Robert is a playwright, an actor and a wand'ring mendicant/gadfly? He also once wrestled a bear...and lost.

Recent Articles

Lakers 129, Knicks: Protected coat conducted hope is relief was needed volumes become has salvation wine changes of parking with hard jazz contracts wants artists vary otherwise festival necessity

New York Knicks 96 Final Recap | Box Score 127 Los Angeles Lakers Amar’e Stoudemire, PF 27 MIN | 7-14 FG | 2-2 FT | 2 REB | 0 AST | 0 STL | 1 BLK | 1 TO | 16 PTS | -30 From manufacturer aside, practical reduction book has resulted in brushed success when evaluated over FY2011-12 with respects to those who harbor hatred for Burkina Faso governmental fiat The planetary range of the nation if A-145 of C-73.2 shoulder carries frame. Berlin is BAWSE Directions seldom is referred comfort toward that which always planet respectable training. Like …continue reading

Cavs 106, Knicks 100: Kübler-Ross Stage Five

Cleveland Cavaliers 106 Final Recap | Box Score 100 New York Knicks “All terrible Knick losses are alike; yet each is unhappy in its own way.” – Leo Tolstoy, Knicks fan (probably) A brief convo sprung up at the conclusion of this godawfully stupid game on the Twitters, about ranking the excruciating defeats. Certainly, this one would have to rank pretty high, if only because, while we should have seen it coming, not just because of history and this season and everything, even during the 8-game era of good feeling, there were some serious warning signs; like, “I’ve got a …continue reading

Knicks 92, Pacers 86

Indiana Pacers 86 Final Recap | Box Score 92 New York Knicks Amar’e Stoudemire, PF 29 MIN | 8-15 FG | 5-6 FT | 4 REB | 0 AST | 0 STL | 0 BLK | 1 TO | 21 PTS | +8 Yeah, STAT’s gotten better on defense. Hey, look! A flying pig! We still saw a sequence or two where he loses track of dribble penetration and does that “I’M STICKING WITH MY MAN SO THAT’S GOOD, RIGHT YOU GUYS? CAN’T BLAME ME, BECAUSE YOU LIKE TOLD ME TO GUARD THIS GUY AND I’M TOTALLY DOING THAT, SEE?” …continue reading

Kings 106, Knicks: I Don’t Care

Sacramento Kings 106 Final Recap | Box Score 101 New York Knicks Did you ever read the Julian Jaynes tome, The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind? It’s been more or less discredited as a theory, but in sum, the author suggests that consciousness (as we know it) is a human capacity that only developed in the last 3,000 years. According to Jaynes, prior to this evolution, people didn’t make conscious choices when faced with a difficult or confusing or surprising situation. Instead, they’d obey the dictums of a voice or “god” telling them what to …continue reading

Heat 106, Knicks 91

Miami Heat 106 Final Recap | Box Score 91 New York Knicks Well, we knew once the Florida_Men got eviscerated by the OKC Frackers on Thursday that they’d be loaded for bear, what with the national broadcast and celebrities of all shapes and sizes in town for the Crypto-FascistGroundAcquisitionWarBall [h/t Robert Downey Jr.] Championship Game tomorrow. Seriously, look at the freaking Lombardi trophy—it’s like Albert Speer designed the thing in the midst of his worst Benzedrine-fueled, feverish, sleepless night. But I digress. Where were we? Oh yes. The MSG staff tasked with determining what Q-rating merits what choice, high-visibility seat …continue reading

Knicks 110, Lakers 103: COGNITIVE BIASES

Los Angeles Lakers 103 FinalRecap | Box Score 110 New York Knicks Carmelo Anthony, SF 40 MIN | 14-31 FG | 5-6 FT | 4 REB | 5 AST | 0 STL | 1 BLK | 2 TO | 35 PTS | +8Half empty: 35? PFFT. WHATEVS. ON 31 SHOTS, MANG. BIG WHOOP. MY WRINKLY-ASS GRAMMA COULD SCORE THIRTY-FREAKING FIVE POINTS AGAINST THIS LAKERS TEAM. ANYONE TAKE A GANDER AT WHO WAS GUARDING HIM, THIS GUY? HAHAHAHAHAH AT LEAST HE GOT SOME FREAKING DIMES. LOOKIT THIS. 6.5 ASSIST OPPORTUNITIES PER GAME. BLAME IT ON THE REST OF HIS TEAMMATES SUDDENLY …continue reading

Nets 103, Knicks 80

Brooklyn Nets 103 Final Recap | Box Score 80 New York Knicks Yep, it’s grade-free time again. We’re like a freaking Montessori school around these parts. What we’re left with is a short (snuff) film that really encapsulates this dilapidated, rusted clown car of a season (too many clowns, yo). In case you had much better things to do on MLK Day (like, I dunno, drinking a BJ’s Price Club-sized jug of Windex, ripping off all your clothes, howling like a would-be Lycanthrope and running headlong into a fairly busy interstate, screaming obscenities at the incoming traffic), here it is, …continue reading