Statistical Analysis. Humor. Knicks.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Author: Robert Silverman

Hey, did you know that in addition to banging the keys here and occasionally for the NY Times and at ESPN, Robert is a playwright, an actor and a wand'ring mendicant/gadfly? He also once wrestled a bear...and lost.

Recent Articles

Game Thread: Knicks @ Nets.

I think Steve Kerr is conducting an intervention with Son of Wood. Anyhoo, here are some thoughts from Jeremy Gordon of Brooklyn’s Finest, a gent who’s suffered through almost as much terrible basketball as we have. 1. Hello fellow resident of basketball purgatory! It’s tough to say, but for Knicks fans, one of the few respites from the near-constant awful basketball and general ridicule has been watching you, our fellow Metropolitan team, suffer and struggle. (We’re petty like that) for one, thought BK had assembled a 50-55 win team. In brief, what’s gone wrong? Basically everything? From the beginning this …continue reading

Report From The Besieged City

In advance of tonight’s Shame of the Century Player Haters Ball The Toilet Bowl Game, here are some pictures and words and more words from your friendly neighborhood Knickerbloggers. Get us started Mike!     New York is buzzing…Nope that’s snoring. Netsest Man In the World Oh Cole, someday you’ll find the right coach. How I’ll be watching the game tonight. How the rest of the NBA will view this game…   And now, an adaptation of a Zbigniew Herbert poem by Robert. You can read the original here.  REPORT FROM THE BESIEGED BASKETBALL CITY a poem by Robert Silverman …continue reading

Game Preview & Thread: Pelicans @ Knicks

Not like we were overly optimistic to begin with, but the Knicks will be rolling in the Gitmo orange uni’s tonight: No. 18 @BenoUdrih1 in orange tonight versus @PelicansNBA pic.twitter.com/ZgmK5J7ySH — NY_KnicksPR (@NY_KnicksPR) December 1, 2013 That’s just swell. For a bit of info on tonight’s winning team opponent, let’s hear from Joe Gerrity of the TrueHoop New Orleans Pelicans blog, Bourbonstreetshots. Much was made of the Pellies’ off season moves — trading Noel for Jrue, spending big bucks on Tyreke. How’s it working out so far? It’s a vague answer, but so far it’s going OK. It’s not yet …continue reading

Nuggets 98, Knicks: The Unnamable.

New York Knicks 95 Final Recap | Box Score 97 Denver Nuggets Melo is/was right: we are in a dark place. This is exhausting. I don’t know about you, but I’m just tired of writing the same dumb things about a dumb team that fails in painfully repetitive, dumb ways. All of it so very Beckett-like (if the man had ever heard of or deigned to root for a team, this one would nestle in the cockles of his heart). Unnamable, yet totally familiar. So yes, again there aren’t any individual grades tonight. The same small group of ‘Bockers (more …continue reading

Wizards 98, Knicks 89

New York Knicks 89 Final Recap | Box Score 98 Washington Wizards [WARNING: This recap contains graphic, non-Knick content in the individual grades. Feel free to skip to the 'Five things' section, if you're so inclined.] Kenyon Martin, PF 25 MIN | 2-5 FG | 0-1 FT | 7 REB | 3 AST | 0 STL | 1 BLK | 0 TO | 4 PTS | -3 Yemen–On Friday, three people were killed at a wedding party when a guest dancing to “Gangnam Style” while holding an AK-47 accidentally fired into the crowd. Wedding guests were singing and dancing along …continue reading

BREAKING NEWS: DOLAN SPEAKS!

  I… just read the whole thing. The Isiah stuff is certainly going to really ring the media’s cherries (Isiah Day! Again! Yay!), but there are 3-4 other gobsmacking/downright weird things that James Dolan says in his interview with Mike Vaccaro of the NY Post. This may be a tad hyperbolic, but from now till the end of time, November 22nd will no longer be known as the day JFK was shot, it is the day we actually got to peer inside the mind of the least self-aware, most blindingly self-indulgent billionaire/shitty musician on the planet. All emphasis is mine. …continue reading

Next Day Notes & Errata: Knicks v. Pistons

Well, that was yet another in a series of perfectly awful games by the New Dutch City Dutch Short Pants. Not that anyone should expect anything different, but since Kevin stoically analyzed the larger failures of the team, in a way that was sad and true and yet totally aware that the situation at hand, like a real-life Toby Ziegler… #HireFictionalCharactersToRunTheKnicksEvenOnesWrittenBySorkinThatCanBeReallySupercilliousAndSmugAtTimesAndAlwaysHaveVastReamsOfStatisticsTheyCanRecallAtTheDropOfAHatItCouldn’tBeWorseThanTheActualThreeDimensionalHumansWorkingThereNow …let’s take a look as some amusing and not-at-all amusing odds and ends, plucked out from the wreckage last night’s toxic waste spill of a game, in the early stages of a season that probably should be declared a …continue reading