Statistical Analysis. Humor. Knicks.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Author: Robert Silverman

Hey, did you know that in addition to banging the keys here and occasionally for the NY Times and at ESPN, Robert is a playwright, an actor and a wand'ring mendicant/gadfly? He also once wrestled a bear...and lost.

Recent Articles

The Fisher King

First of all, let me apologize for the headline. It was just too delicious a pun not to gobble it up like so many chocolate-covered cherries. If the Post/News doesn’t steal my Thunder [giggles] tomorrow by running the exact same thing, then you can put me in the pun-itentiary or at a minimum, the pun-alty box [bursts into uncontrollable peals of laughter]. Anyhoo, according to multiple reports, Derek Fisher has agreed to become the HC of the NYK. The all-seeing Panopticon of breaking NBA stories, the man they call Woj, hath twat: Derek Fisher is closing on a deal to …continue reading

BREAKING NEWS: Steve Kerr to Coach the Warriors, Because Knicks

I mean… I guess… Well… Yeah. After waiting for what seems like an eternity for the fair-haired Dane, Hamlet Kerr, to make up his noble mind, it seems as if he’s found a far prettier gal at the bar to go home with: Steve Kerr has reached agreement on a five-year, $25 million contract to coach the Golden State Warriors, league sources told Yahoo Sports. Kerr passed on an opportunity to coach the New York Knicks and rejoin his former coach Phil Jackson, who is now running New York’s front office. Honestly, we should’ve realized that if it was taking thiiiiiiiis …continue reading

Phil, Melo and the Ten Dollar Carrot

[Editor's note: This is guest post from friend-of-the-blog Dan Litvin.] A photo posted to the Instagram account of one Josh Wolfe (username: wolfejosh) depicts what appears to be Phil Jackson and Carmelo Anthony dining at the restaurant American Cut. The photo is grainy, so the diners may actually be Alan Arkin and a unicorn, but if it is Phil and Melo, then it is Knicks-related, which means I can talk about it here, which means I can discuss the fact that American Cut has a carrot you can buy for $10! The $10 carrot appears on the menu as a “Carrot …continue reading

On James Dolan’s Sterling Silence

[Editor's note: This is guest post from friend-of-the-blog Dan Litvin.] Almost 13 years ago, Chris Broussard, then of the New York Times, revealed that former Knicks Charlie Ward, Allan Houston and Kurt Thomas had made anti-Semitic comments to a fellow Gray Lady reporter that had been covering the Knicks that season. That reporter, Eric Koningsberg, enjoyed what seems today like unprecedented access to the organization’s players. During a Bible study, Ward told Koningsberg that “[Jews] had [Jesus’s] blood on their hands.” Houston followed, “Matthew 26, verse 67. Then they spit in Jesus’ face and hit him with their fists.” Upon …continue reading

Knicks 95, Raptors 92: Goodbye-ee

Toronto Raptors 92 Final Recap | Box Score 95 New York Knicks Cole Aldrich, C 40 MIN | 5-8 FG | 3-4 FT | 16 REB | 1 AST | 2 STL | 5 BLK | 1 TO | 13 PTS | +12ONE ALDRING TO RULE THEM ALL ROBERT So we’re done. But before this awful, no-good, bleak season wanders depressingly into that good night, we had to get one last bit of pre-game free-form extemporaneous prose poetry from the soon-to-be ex-coach, Mike, Son of Wood. In case you had better things to do, like running a rusty cheese grater …continue reading

Knicks 108, Raptors 100

New York Knicks 108 Final Recap | Box Score 100 Toronto Raptors Amar’e Stoudemire, PF 40 MIN | 10-14 FG | 4-6 FT | 11 REB | 0 AST | 0 STL | 1 BLK | 0 TO | 24 PTS | +14 Hi there Amar’e Stoudemire! Just a nifty pu pu platter of 2010-ish STAT goodness. Pick and roll dunks. Low post backdowns with a soupcon of nifty spin moves and jukes. Dives off of swell ball movement. Yummy. Douse this entire game in plum sauce and gobble it up. In a related story, I’m hungry. Hell, he even …continue reading

Wizards 90, Knicks 89

Washington Wizards 90 Final Recap | Box Score 89 New York Knicks (Editor’s Note: The recap generator’s on the fritz, please pardon the somewhat haggard formatting) AMAR’E STOUDEMIRE, B Any memories one might have of a brick-tastic and logy first half were eradicated by a splendid third quarter, filled with the entire menu of Amar’e’s delicious scoring entrées—smooth-as-the-other-side-of-the-pillow midrange J’s, quick low-post buckets, and much rolling and dunking at the rim. You know, like this: CARMELO ANTHONY, D- Melo: "The dogfight we were in? There was no way I was coming out" — Kenny Ducey (@KennyDucey) April 5, 2014 Okay, …continue reading