Statistical Analysis. Humor. Knicks.

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Author: Angus Crawford

Recent Articles

Game Preview & Thread: Knicks vs. Wizards

Playoff basketball! Well, for the Wizards, at least. For now, the Knicks are precariously placed in eighth place in the East, tied with the fading Atlanta Hawks. Much ado about nothing until more wins are tacked onto the season’s tally and the word “clinched” emerges from the wilderness. To prep for this idiosyncratic meeting of the minds, between Wittman and Woodson, I called on the judiciousness of Conor D. Dirks of Truth About It. TAI is one of the finer members of the TrueHoop family, as they run a tight ship, and frequently put forth a unique cocktail of humor, …continue reading

Knicks 89, Warriors 84

New York Knicks 89 FinalRecap | Box Score 84 Golden State Warriors Amar’e Stoudemire, PF 31 MIN | 5-14 FG | 5-6 FT | 13 REB | 1 AST | 0 STL | 0 BLK | 4 TO | 15 PTS | -4Somehow it has gone unreported that Christopher Lloyd (Doc Brown) has been working night shifts in the Knicks’ analytics department. As much as a feckless traveling violation in the fourth quarter served as a sad encapsulation of where Amar’e is at physically, there were a couple of seminal moment–a freight train-like offensive rebound and one-handed throw down, followed …continue reading

Knicks 88, Suns 112: 77 Signs of Suns-Induced Sadness

As this game was a meeting of two former Mike D’Antoni-orchestrated “Seven Seconds or Less” squads, and the Knicks are regular committers of all manner of defensive sins, it seemed fitting to call in the services of Detectives William Somerset (Morgan Freeman) and David Mills (Brad Pitt) of Se7en fame. Oh, and, during a timeout early in the evening, a Suns fan calmly banked in (no pun intended) a half-court jumper for ownership of a cool $77,777 cheque. New York Knicks 88 FinalRecap | Box Score 112 Phoenix Suns Amar’e Stoudemire, PF 30 MIN | 8-16 FG | 3-5 FT | …continue reading

Knicks 115, Bucks 94: A Successful Saturday Matinée

Milwaukee Bucks 94 FinalRecap | Box Score 115 New York Knicks Amar’e Stoudemire, PF 26 MIN | 6-13 FG | 3-4 FT | 6 REB | 1 AST | 0 STL | 1 BLK | 1 TO | 15 PTS | +14STAT failed to finish around the rim in the opening half, squandering a couple of chances for an emphatic, time-warping throw-down. Even though we were graced with his penchant for “my bad,” defensive hiccups, and the ball was slippedy slidin’ all over the joint on offense to start, he managed to gather himself and put forth a more-or-less friendly …continue reading

Game Preview & Thread: Knicks vs. 76ers

Uno, dos, tres! Three is the magic number — these erratic, gnarly Knickerbockers have strung together a miniature-sized streak of successes. Let’s ignore the fact that the consecutive victories came against a trio of inconsistent, (presently) non-playoff teams, and rejoice with the knowledge that the delightful eighth seed in the Eastern Conference is lingering a mere 3.5 games in the distance. That’s right, a few more nights of avoiding half-hearted hopelessness, and the ‘Bockers will have the privilege of partaking in an assuredly lopsided opening round series in the upcoming postseason festivities. (Side note: Bucks in six) To gear up …continue reading

Knicks 118, Wolves 106: Hey Look, A Win!

New York Knicks 118 FinalRecap | Box Score 106 Minnesota Timberwolves Amar’e Stoudemire, PF 31 MIN | 8-18 FG | 2-3 FT | 8 REB | 1 AST | 1 STL | 2 BLK | 3 TO | 18 PTS | +17Can someone from the Knicks’ brass please be sure to send a gift basket to kindly ol’ Doc Emmett Brown early tomorrow morning? Forget microfracture surgery, platelet-rich therapy in shockingly clean German uber-clinics, or any other newfangled remedies that have failed to adequately attend to STAT’s lingering ailments–stick to the flux capacitor. Amar’e drifted through the time-space continuum to …continue reading