I asked our friendly neighborhood Jim Cavan if I could write a piece on how terribly Bargs played in the first half. My two points were supposed to be:
2. It’s the first preseason game so EVERYBODY PANIC AS LOUDLY AS POSSIBLE! (But seriously, please don’t. It’s the first preseason game.)
Anyway, this was his response:
So I thought, why the hell not?
‘Drea’s dominant days disappeared. Duly, David dreams ‘Drea disappears definitively. Droves decided ‘Drea’s deal dared disastrous days. Dolan, damningly, deemed ‘Drea demonstrably deft. ‘Drea deal doubters draw disrespect David dismisses disgustingly.
Dunderhead ‘Drea done duffed despite despicable draft-destined dregs. ‘Drea didn’t deliver destructive dunks! ‘Drea didn’t dismantle defenses! ‘Drea did diddly doo! Demonstrably, ‘dis ‘Drea dude dreadful! ‘Drea didn’t distribute! ‘Drea didn’t defend! ‘Drea did dip downwards, displacing defenders — didn’t defeat defenders, doe. ‘Dray deemed disturbing, disappointing, disadvantageous.
Damned ‘Drea destroyed David’s dreams. Dumb ‘Drea done David dirty. ‘Drea didn’t demonstrate desirable deeds. ‘Drea doesn’t demand doubles. ‘Drea doesn’t deserve devotion; ‘Drea deserves demotion! ‘Drea’s dexterity duplicates deliberate doo-doo drifting down dirty drains.
David doesn’t despise ‘Drea. David done did demanded discourse — drastically demeaning, definitely — delightfully. David doesn’t deserve death; David done devastated! Dasvidaniya, dorks.