What could be better than a quick sojourn to Florida for Thanksgiving just as winter is beginning to set in up north? Apparently, anything, so far as the Knicks are concerned. They couldn’t get on a plane back to New York fast enough after Wednesday’s appropriately recapped performance, and hopefully an exorbitant meal and the nostalgic sight of a behemoth-sized Snoopy floating through the streets gave the Knicks back whatever they lost in the Sunshine State.
I assume that none of you decided to attend the music-less moshpit known as Black Friday since you’re all aware of the existence of the internet, but I would be remiss not to list what I’m thankful for on this post-Thanksgiving morning that I’ve spent hiccuping through the aftermath of mixing roughly 139 different versions of alcohol.
I’m thankful for the impending Kristapocalypse that was foretold by James Naismith as he climbed a ladder to retrieve a ball from a peach basket that, incredibly, no one thought to cut the bottom out of for FIFTEEN YEARS. I’m thankful for every moment Sasha “.33 TS%” Vujacic spends on the bench thinking about what to get Kobe for Christmas and not on the court trying to outduel him for the ’15-16 title of Least Efficient Shooter. Get Cic or Die Tryin’ literally has 45 points on 66 shots, which is an incredibly impressive feat of mediocrity. And finally, I’m thankful for Amazon. Seriously, is anyone still leaving their house to do their Holiday shopping?
Game 17 of the season welcomes the Miami Heat to New York, a team they played just four days ago. Miami ranks 3rd in the league with a DRtg of 98.7, and they held the Knicks to a season-low 78 points on Monday. A lot of that had to do with the bench’s recent allergic reaction to success, having shot put the ball towards the general vicinity of the basket to the tune of 7-47 in the last two games, including 0-16 from 3. Everyone on the bench is sneezing and itching, but Langston Galloway has broken out into hives and is in danger of going into anaphylactic shock if he doesn’t improve on his 1-14 performance over the last two games. If the Knicks are going to beat this very talented Heat team, their bench is going to have to show up for work.
The good news is that Wade and Bosh have been slumping lately. They shot a combined 8-28 against the Knicks on Monday (an agonizing stat after seeing how badly the Knicks were beaten despite this) and combined to go 4-18 in their loss at Detroit on Wednesday. They also had to spend Thanksgiving in Detroit, where I imagine they were served slow-roasted mufflers smothered in recycled oil with a side of dirty air filters basted with engine coolant. Also, Luol Deng is sitting tonight, which I’m not sure is a good thing since that means more minutes for Justise Winslow.
Should be fun, and a good test for the Knicks’ struggling offense. Only one thing left for me to say about this game: