Recap: Knicks 103, Warriors 126

What more is there to say about the Knicks at this point? Tonight they played against one of the best back courts in the league and were, predictably, burned again and again (a triple double by the end of the 3rd quarter for Steph Curry!!!!). The Knicks were never really in this game from the start, lost by a lot and a frustrated Tyson Chandler almost bit a dude’s head off right there in the middle of the court. So, rather than repeating what better writers have stated again and again, I decided to go a different direction. First, let’s have a little science lesson:

In quantum physics, there is always an inherent statistical uncertainty in any solutions, due to limit in precision that certain pairs of physical variables have when you are trying to solve them simultaneously. This can be referred to as the “Uncertainty Principal”, and in simple terms it’s just saying that you can only approximately know values of certain variables on a quantum scale. Anyways, one way to get around this “quantum randomness” is to imagine multiple universes, where all possibilities of the values of these variables can occur. This is really just a thought exercise, but has been used in popular culture on a macro scale, such as in comics that like to remake old characters and stories, explaining it away by saying, “Oh, this is a brand new universe! Ignore all those other Batman comics we made, this is a new one that has nothing to do with those!”.

Let’s have our own thought experiment with the Knicks. Let’s imagine a universe that is just, in which the current Knicks organization is capable, and the players are motivated winners. This is how I choose imagine our star player:

And his buddy JR:

Don’t forget Ray!

And finally, the greatest alternative reality of all:

Sweet dreams everyone! Eventually, this whole mess will get better, in our universe! It has to, right?

KnickerBlogger/P&T Meet-Up

Rumors of a KnickerBlogger/P&T Meet-Up are entirely true! Wednesday March 5th, while our Knicks take on the Bucks, our stomachs will take on free booze (Bud Light/Well Drinks) from 7:30-8:30. It’s at the Village Pourhouse on 3rd & 11th. Come meet fellow commenters, esteemed writers, and curious lurkers! Watch yours truly glare condescendingly at the screen after every Cole Aldrich blocked shot or rebound!

If you’re planning on going, email me with the word “Aldrich” as your favorite Knick so I can keep a head count.

Exclusive: Udrih and World Peace Expose Tough Life With Knicks

Two people have escaped one of the toughest, secretive, and well guarded areas on Earth. Like North Korea, the Knicks organization (aka M.S.G.) has closed off relations to the outside world, and much of what happens behind the scenes is a mystery to the public. Their leader, James L. Dolan, has been a reclusive character who has only spoken to the press on the most rare occasions. He inherited his current position from his father, and it doesn’t seem that anyone can remove his iron fist grasp on the Knicks.

Recently James L. Dolan ejected his once trusted right-hand man, Glen Grunwald, who bolstered the organization with mediocre decision making. People who threaten the Knicks’ leader, are dealt with by the police. Unlike North Korea, Dennis Rodman has not been able to gain inroads with this mysterious owner. Probably because the organization has turned a blind eye to both public relations and defense.

However two people have recently escaped the clutches of M.S.G., and have painted a gruesome tale of life behind the concrete curtain. Beno Udrih and Metta World Peace were inexplicably released before the team’s final demise in 2014. These are their first-hand reports of what is actually happening inside the Knicks organization.

[WARNING: THE DESCRIPTIONS AND IMAGES BELOW MAY BE DISTURBING.]

“It was horrible” said Udrih. “We were forced to watch the most torturous display of basketball for 2-3 hours straight. That whole time I had to watch a fat guy dribble a ball around, while we were on the bench starving for minutes. I was forced to sit next to a giant hulking idiot with a tooth missing. Every now and then we had to stand around in a circle, hoping the coach would choose us to play meaningful minutes, but that opportunity almost never came.”

Drawings Reveal The Horror!
Drawings Reveal The Horror!

The survivors tell tales of the stark division between the haves and the have-nots. “Some players can drink all night,” described Udrih “and yet still get major playing time the next day while the rest of us are compelled to sit. Even on a Sunday matinee game. On the other hand if I had one turnover, I get a tongue lashing in front of thousands of people.” He tearfully added “I can’t get the memories of those 20 foot step back jumpers out of my head.”

“Mentally it was rough on me,” offered Metta World Peace. “Watching players just blow past our defenders from the perimeter filled me with shame. Coach would tell our guys to switch on defense in order to confuse the opponent, but that just made things worse.”

SWITCH!
DETAILS OF THE DEFENSIVE SCHEME

Even though the two were able to escape, their future remains uncertain. Lamented Udrih, “We’ve been scarred by our time there, and now our careers are tainted. Who knows if any team will ever give us real minutes again?”

Knicks Morning News (2014.02.26)

  • [ESPN.com – New York Knicks] Opening tip: Should Felton play? (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 06:00:56 EDT)

    Raymond Felton was already in the midst of one of his worst seasons. He was averaging a career-low 10.4 points to go with 29.6 percent shooting from behind the 3-point arc. Now the Knicks’ starting point guard is facing charges of one count of criminal possession of a weapon in the third degree and one count of criminal possession of a firearm. Each is considered a felony in New York state. Felton’s case will take place on June 2. He was handed a six-month order of protection from his estranged wife, bail set at $25,000, and there are no legal restrictions from traveling.

  • [New York Post] The key questions & answers in Felton’s case (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 04:13:26 -0500)

    Raymond Felton faced an uncertain Knicks future entering last week's trade deadline and now faces one again post-deadline in the wake of his gun-charge arrest. Felton didn't speak to reporters…

  • [New York Daily News] Lawrence: Despite arrest, NBA history suggests Felton will continue to play (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 06:30:25 GMT)

    Don’t expect the NBA to put the hammer down on Knicks guard Raymond Felton after his arrest on weapons charges. Typically, the NBA allows the legal process to play out before a suspending a player.    

  • [New York Daily News] Timeline: Raymond Felton’s career from UNC to NYK (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 06:28:20 GMT)

    Apr. 4, 2005: Won NCAA national championship as a junior at North Carolina, named all-ACC first team.    

  • [New York Daily News] Knicks’ Raymond Felton charged with felony weapons possession (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 06:25:47 GMT)

    Knicks point guard Raymond Felton was arrested on three counts of criminal possession of a weapon early Tuesday after his estranged wife’s lawyer dumped his gun off with cops, sources said.    

  • [New York Daily News] Lupica: Knicks’ Felton had potent ammo, no brain power (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 05:53:05 GMT)

    Raymond Felton, whose bad year with the Knicks on the court just got a lot worse off it, does not become some sort of notorious bad guy because he is charged with a Class D felony over a gun with bad bullets in it, one that he never should have brought anywhere near New York City.    

  • [New York Daily News] Plax thinks Knicks fans ‘will support’ Felton after gun arrest (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 05:26:44 GMT)

    When Plaxico Burress first heard that Knicks guard Raymond Felton was arrested on gun charges, he knew how “unfortunate” it really was, since he learned all about New York City’s strict gun laws the hard way a little more than five years ago.    

  • [New York Daily News] Harvey: It’s Automatic – type of gun is Felton’s problem (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 05:25:21 GMT)

    New York Knick Raymond Felton was arrested early Tuesday morning for possessing an unlicensed firearm in his Manhattan apartment. And not just any firearm, but a FN 5.7x28MM, the notorious “cop-killer” gun.    

  • [New York Daily News] Isola: More Bullets over Broadway for Dolan’s laughingstock Knicks (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 05:00:10 GMT)

    Always remember that this was the year when James Dolan was expecting to lift the Lawrence O’Brien trophy in June. The Knicks, of course, will be free that month except for point guard Raymond Felton, who will be in a Manhattan courtroom fighting for his career.    

  • [New York Daily News] Jimmer to Knicks? Fredette’s family would love to see it (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 02:46:42 GMT)

    Two years after “Lin-sanity,” could the Knicks reboot with “Jim-sanity”? With point guard Raymond Felton’s current legal woes, Beno Udrih’s buyout by the Knicks, and point guard Jimmer Fredette reportedly on his way out of Sacramento, is there a perfect storm brewing that would bring the former Brigham Young star to Gotham?    

  • [New York Times] Harden Scores 43, Rockets Rout Kings 129-103 (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 06:42:58 GMT)

    James Harden spent the fourth quarter smiling on the Houston Rockets’ bench. DeMarcus Cousins finished the final period in the Sacramento Kings’ locker room.    

  • [New York Times] Lillard Leads Portland Past Denver 100-95 (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 06:03:58 GMT)

    The Trail Blazers took Denver’s best shot — and the Nuggets took way too many errant shots thanks to Portland’s stifling defense.    

  • [New York Times] Love, Timberwolves Beat Phoenix With Late Outburst (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 04:52:02 GMT)

    Kevin Love fell one assist shy of his second triple-double in three games, and the Minnesota Timberwolves used a late outburst to beat the Phoenix Suns 110-101 on Tuesday night.    

  • [New York Times] N.B.A. Roundup: DeRozan’s Late Run Leads Raptors Over the Cavaliers (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 04:03:15 GMT)

    Led by DeMar DeRozan’s 16 fourth-quarter points, Toronto won for the sixth time in seven games.    

  • [New York Times] Dunleavy Has 22, Bulls Hold Off Hawks, 107-103 (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 03:18:55 GMT)

    Mike Dunleavy scored 22 points, Joakim Noah had 20 points and 12 rebounds and the Chicago Bulls held off the Atlanta Hawks 107-103 on Tuesday night.    

  • [New York Times] Jason Collins, First Openly Gay N.B.A. Player, Signs With Nets and Appears in Game (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 03:15:29 GMT)

    The 35-year-old center signed a 10-day contract and took the court Sunday night against the Lakers.    

  • [New York Times] DeRozan Scores 33 in Raptors’ 99-93 Win Over Cavs (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 02:57:59 GMT)

    DeMar DeRozan scored 16 of his 33 points in the fourth quarter, and the Toronto Raptors won for the sixth time in seven games with a 99-93 victory over the injury-riddled Cleveland Cavaliers on Tuesday night.    

  • [New York Times] George Helps Pacers Pull Away From Lakers, 118-98 (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 02:39:55 GMT)

    Paul George scored 12 of his 20 points in the third quarter, Evan Turner had 13 points in his Pacers debut, and Indiana beat the Los Angeles Lakers 118-98 on Tuesday night.    

  • [New York Times] Wizards Survive Without Nene, Beat Magic 115-106 (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 02:33:52 GMT)

    John Wall scored 27 points, and the must-make-playoffs Washington Wizards survived their first game after Nene’s latest injury, beating the road-hapless Orlando Magic 115-106 Tuesday night.    

  • [New York Times] Pioneering Aside, Collins Just Tries to Learn Plays (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 02:31:10 GMT)

    After two whirlwind days, Jason Collins had a chance to focus on the Nets’ system in a practice.    

  • [New York Times] Sacramento Kings Working to Buy Out Fredette (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 02:21:55 GMT)

    Jimmermania began in Sacramento with hundreds of fans gathered at the airport to cheer the arrival of a player most had only watched on television or read about during the NCAA tournament.    

  • [New York Times] Knicks’ Felton Faces Gun Charges (Wed, 26 Feb 2014 01:54:00 GMT)

    Raymond Felton turned himself in early Tuesday after his wife’s lawyer turned in a handgun to the police, saying that it belonged to Felton and that he had threatened his wife with it.    

  • Knicks agree to deals with Earl Clark and Shannon Brown

    According to Chris Broussard, the Knicks have added guard Shannon Brown to their earlier signing of forward Earl Clark today.

    While neither player is all that impressive, to be fair there is also the issue of whether the top waived players would even want to play for the Knicks at this point, so Brown and Clark might be the best the Knicks could get. Although it sure would be nice for the Knicks to give a shot to some young D-Leaguers instead of veteran retreads with little upside.